Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: How do you handle a boring date?
GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 06:52 AM
You're on a first date with someone and you're starting to feel bored. How do you handle things?...Do you try to switch the conversation around to a more interesting topic? (More interesting for you.)...How do you get a "long-winded" person (non-stop talker) to "wind-down" so you'll have a chance to talk and say a few things too? I get quiet, remain cordial, smile tightly a lot, nod my head up and down A LOT, and insist on going dutch when the bill arrives....The end... I'd probably handle it this way too...But what happens if the guy thinks the date "went well" and keeps calling? And wants to get together again? (Someone who won't "go away!")...I used to run into this "stuff" earlier in life. (Before I met and married my husband.)...I'd say that we didn't have a lot in common. (Or something like this.) But some of the guys acted like "wounded puppy dogs" and tried to make me feel guilty (or wrong) for "rejecting" them. (And not going on more dates with them.)...I "care" too much about other peoples' feelings at times! This is probably why I'm a loner...Don't want to open-up any "can of worms!" Or get in "sticky situations!" Nine times out of ten, they know the date didn't "go well" but they convince themselves that the next one will (this is what I think anyway)...The ones who hang on, won't give up, are the price you pay for being nice I guess ...No way am I am going to be rude to a guy on a first date just because I find him boring and I would hope the same curtesy would be extended to me if the situation were reversed...Most of us can take a hint ...BUT...The ones who hang in, call, send flowers and gifts, stop in unannounced simply refuse to give up, have to be told in no uncertain terms that you are not interested in any kind of relationship with them...It sucks, but it comes with the territory... Sometimes "dating" feels like a chity job that doesn't pay crap! I don't want to become "hard" and mean and ruthless and uncaring and insensitive either...I'm just not ready to deal with the dating "stuff" and "games" right now...YUK!

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Fri 03/01/13 07:05 AM
You're on a first date with someone and you're starting to feel bored. How do you handle things?...Do you try to switch the conversation around to a more interesting topic? (More interesting for you.)...How do you get a "long-winded" person (non-stop talker) to "wind-down" so you'll have a chance to talk and say a few things too? I have had this happen. Anyway to answer your question. I did not do anything in particular to manipulate the conversation. I made it clear that I would answer only questiosn that I wanted to and I left as soon as I could politely do so. One man became quite angry...so ummm...no. I also refused future dates. One gentleman had bought my dinner and I did not feel right allowing him to continue to do so when I knew there was no chemistry (I also probably made more than he did :) )

Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Fri 03/01/13 07:19 AM
You're on a first date with someone and you're starting to feel bored. How do you handle things?...Do you try to switch the conversation around to a more interesting topic? (More interesting for you.)...How do you get a "long-winded" person (non-stop talker) to "wind-down" so you'll have a chance to talk and say a few things too? I get quiet, remain cordial, smile tightly a lot, nod my head up and down A LOT, and insist on going dutch when the bill arrives....The end... I'd probably handle it this way too...But what happens if the guy thinks the date "went well" and keeps calling? And wants to get together again? (Someone who won't "go away!")...I used to run into this "stuff" earlier in life. (Before I met and married my husband.)...I'd say that we didn't have a lot in common. (Or something like this.) But some of the guys acted like "wounded puppy dogs" and tried to make me feel guilty (or wrong) for "rejecting" them. (And not going on more dates with them.)...I "care" too much about other peoples' feelings at times! This is probably why I'm a loner...Don't want to open-up any "can of worms!" Or get in "sticky situations!" Nine times out of ten, they know the date didn't "go well" but they convince themselves that the next one will (this is what I think anyway)...The ones who hang on, won't give up, are the price you pay for being nice I guess ...No way am I am going to be rude to a guy on a first date just because I find him boring and I would hope the same curtesy would be extended to me if the situation were reversed...Most of us can take a hint ...BUT...The ones who hang in, call, send flowers and gifts, stop in unannounced simply refuse to give up, have to be told in no uncertain terms that you are not interested in any kind of relationship with them...It sucks, but it comes with the territory... Sometimes "dating" feels like a chity job that doesn't pay crap! I don't want to become "hard" and mean and ruthless and uncaring and insensitive either...I'm just not ready to deal with the dating "stuff" and "games" right now...YUK! I don't think you have to worry about becoming "hard" Claire..When/if the time comes, I bet you will deal with the ups and downs of dating the same way you deal with the ups and down of life...

oldsage Joined Thu 09/14/06 Posts: 18043	Fri 03/01/13 07:22 AM
If any situation becomes uncomfortable, LEAVE. Nicely or just walk away, whatever it takes.

KiK2me Joined Sun 01/06/13 Posts: 8732	Fri 03/01/13 07:31 AM
Ask them if they wanna get out of here and go have sex instead ? It will either liven things up Or bring a quick end to the torture... hehehe... KiK {Just playing folks !} "Footsies" can be fun ?

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 07:44 AM
You're on a first date with someone and you're starting to feel bored. How do you handle things?...Do you try to switch the conversation around to a more interesting topic? (More interesting for you.)...How do you get a "long-winded" person (non-stop talker) to "wind-down" so you'll have a chance to talk and say a few things too? I get quiet, remain cordial, smile tightly a lot, nod my head up and down A LOT, and insist on going dutch when the bill arrives....The end... I'd probably handle it this way too...But what happens if the guy thinks the date "went well" and keeps calling? And wants to get together again? (Someone who won't "go away!")...I used to run into this "stuff" earlier in life. (Before I met and married my husband.)...I'd say that we didn't have a lot in common. (Or something like this.) But some of the guys acted like "wounded puppy dogs" and tried to make me feel guilty (or wrong) for "rejecting" them. (And not going on more dates with them.)...I "care" too much about other peoples' feelings at times! This is probably why I'm a loner...Don't want to open-up any "can of worms!" Or get in "sticky situations!" Nine times out of ten, they know the date didn't "go well" but they convince themselves that the next one will (this is what I think anyway)...The ones who hang on, won't give up, are the price you pay for being nice I guess ...No way am I am going to be rude to a guy on a first date just because I find him boring and I would hope the same curtesy would be extended to me if the situation were reversed...Most of us can take a hint ...BUT...The ones who hang in, call, send flowers and gifts, stop in unannounced simply refuse to give up, have to be told in no uncertain terms that you are not interested in any kind of relationship with them...It sucks, but it comes with the territory... Sometimes "dating" feels like a chity job that doesn't pay crap! I don't want to become "hard" and mean and ruthless and uncaring and insensitive either...I'm just not ready to deal with the dating "stuff" and "games" right now...YUK! I don't think you have to worry about becoming "hard" Claire..When/if the time comes, I bet you will deal with the ups and downs of dating the same way you deal with the ups and down of life... Thanks for the vote of confidence!...To be honest if I went on a date and a man focused solely on my "looks" I'd feel weird and embarrassed and bored...Maybe even "scared!"...None of this would feel normal to me at all! And it's just not "my thing."...But my husband popped into my life one day out of the blue and we were a "great match." So who knows?...I definitely need another weirdo and misfit and rebel and non-conformist like me!.. Not an extremely traditional man...But I'm not looking yet! I'm still "hiding-out!"

soufiehere Joined Sat 10/24/09 Posts: 45351	Fri 03/01/13 07:51 AM
In this lifetime, I have never met ANYone from whom I have not learned SOMEthing. So I would have to say, only the truly boring get bored. You just start digging, until you turn up something to talk about. Even silence can be companionable. I don't worry it. I have known so many people that I took an instant dislike to, for being bland, stupid, angry, negative, overbearing..only to find out, there were mitigating circumstances. 'Walk a mile in their shoes..' I don't often make that mistake anymore.

Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Fri 03/01/13 08:04 AM
In this lifetime, I have never met ANYone from whom I have not learned SOMEthing. So I would have to say, only the truly boring get bored. You just start digging, until you turn up something to talk about. Even silence can be companionable. I don't worry it. I have known so many people that I took an instant dislike to, for being bland, stupid, angry, negative, overbearing..only to find out, there were mitigating circumstances. 'Walk a mile in their shoes..' I don't often make that mistake anymore. Gotta agree.....I always learn SOMEthing from everyone I meet too...even if it is nothing more than the fact that I find them boring

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Fri 03/01/13 08:16 AM
You're on a first date with someone and you're starting to feel bored. How do you handle things?...Do you try to switch the conversation around to a more interesting topic? (More interesting for you.)...How do you get a "long-winded" person (non-stop talker) to "wind-down" so you'll have a chance to talk and say a few things too? Try chatting about things that you find more interesting. If that still doesn't work, finish dinner (or whatever you're doing on the date) and politely say goodnight.

manOfewwords Joined Wed 10/22/08 Posts: 29908	Fri 03/01/13 08:18 AM
she usually just leaves

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 11:43 AM
I think I have something (or lots of things) to learn from everyone...But dating involves the "hint" or possibility of an "involvement." And this is why I don't date yet...I'm not ready for the possibility of an "involvement" right now...And I worry about hurting someone's feelings by "saying no" to further dates if I don't feel a "click" or "connection" on my "end.".. I get a headache from thinking about all of it..Everything was "easy" and "light and breezy" when I met my husband because we were "just friends" (and nothing more) for 2 whole years before love entered the picture...And we both said (and felt) that we probably would have stayed friends forever even if we didn't fall in love.

Toodygirl5 Joined Fri 10/26/12 Posts: 14601	Fri 03/01/13 06:13 PM
It is almost impossible to get a "long-winded" person (non-stop talker) to "wind-down" so you'll have a chance to talk and say a few things too. If I get bored with a man, I usually stop saying anything so the date can hurry up and end. I hate to date a boring man.

MariahsFantasy Joined Mon 11/28/11 Posts: 6593	Tue 03/05/13 04:07 PM
I try really hard to be gross.

Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Tue 03/05/13 04:12 PM
I try really hard to be gross. A !!.....How the hell are you foxy lady?!!?? Can you be more specific? Hugs baby!! xxxx

1Cynderella Joined Mon 02/18/13 Posts: 2398	Tue 03/05/13 04:16 PM Edited by 1Cynderella on Tue 03/05/13 04:16 PM
There are only a few things I know to try. 1. Change the direction of conversation. 2. Change of ventue. And if all else fails? 3. Change of date?

Hopeful Romantic Joined Mon 08/10/09 Posts: 60	Tue 03/05/13 04:18 PM
I don't know, i haven't been out on a date in a very long time, so at this point a boring date would be a good date??

motowndowntown Joined Wed 11/19/08 Posts: 21488	Tue 03/05/13 05:02 PM
In this lifetime, I have never met ANYone from whom I have not learned SOMEthing. So I would have to say, only the truly boring get bored. You just start digging, until you turn up something to talk about. Even silence can be companionable. I don't worry it. I have known so many people that I took an instant dislike to, for being bland, stupid, angry, negative, overbearing..only to find out, there were mitigating circumstances. 'Walk a mile in their shoes..' I don't often make that mistake anymore. Gotta agree with that. I don't think other people were put on this earth to entertain me.

MariahsFantasy Joined Mon 11/28/11 Posts: 6593	Tue 03/12/13 11:15 AM
I try really hard to be gross. A !!.....How the hell are you foxy lady?!!?? Can you be more specific? Hugs baby!! xxxx Erm, probably blow my honker every 2.5 minutes just to set the mood. Then proceed to talk about my ex-boyfriend's small wiener ad nauseum, then start to cry about the good times he gave me. Uh...put straws in my nose...eat from his plate...admit to liking boy bands since I was 12...gush about my adoration for male gay sex videos that I watch on Sundays only...pick my nose and eat it, yummy... I get creative with it. It's what artists do. Heya!!

tengbehboy Joined Mon 02/04/13 Posts: 7	Tue 03/12/13 01:21 PM
i just rely and let her talk about herself, and find qustion and ask then,and listen to her more.and teas her hahaha, anyway what will i lose by teasing my date who is bored or talking 2 much lol....

cuddlebunny00 Joined Sat 04/07/12 Posts: 550	Tue 03/12/13 07:35 PM
I once went out with this guy who told me jokes non stop all night long. Funny but that gets tiring after a ccouple of hours. I endured it for a few hrs and my face was so sore.