When Christ talks about a church - he's not literally referring to a physical building. The word Church simply means a gathering of people - his people, followers of Christ. You can physically have a 'church' of people standing outside under the blazing Sun, or at a bus stop. Remember that modern man can't really be compared to the 2'000 yr old average God fearing individual. Men, these days, aren't quite as fear-ridden... we're a little more arrogant & self-assured these days. We've got Sky tv.... ;) From a Biblical standpoint, men were seen to be the head of the household... but, this didn't simply mean that his word was absolute law. Men & women were mean't to be a compliment to each other, not where one dominates the other. Obviously, some marriages may be made up of stronger female personalities who are naturally more able to provide a better more stable family unit. Living by God's laws is what's most important to any couple. Women are a compliment to men - not subordinate to them

To me the man is head of the household, the leader, protector and provider.


But he dang well make sure his wife is happy. Nothing saying he can't seek her counsel on matters.

i fail to see what god or church has to do with this...but IMO, they lead and follow each other, depending on the situation... i know i wouldn't want to be with a female that won't take charge when needed...

Hello mightymoe…

according to the Scriptures the concept of marriage was created by God beginning in Genesis 2:21-24 which says… And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. However, after God established a woman’s role in the Garden of Eden, Eve then sinned against Him by her direct disobedience to His instructions not to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil… so we find in Genesis 3:16… where God then puts a curse on Eve due to the gravity of her sin, because she also caused her husband, Adam, to disobey God and follow in her foot steps to sin... so in verse 16 we find Him saying… To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth Children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” Here is where a man’s rule over his wife began as a consequence…

Why do we follow rules in relationships? Can you we ask ourselves that question without jumping to conclusions about the consequences of following or not following?

I'm currently studying the bible and I think the passage you posted (28-33) is very beautiful. I feel inspired to care for the one I love with the same responsibility that I have toward myself. That sounds like love to me. But why do we feel the need to follow instruction in relationships? Is it that it gives us security? Do we believe that some kind of result will be guaranteed?

and I guess I’d just like to know if there are any old school believers

My guess is that there are still many "old school believers."

There is some confusion in my mind over what position the man/husband holds in regards to his woman/wife... I've long believed the Bible's instructions on these matters... but I've come to understand from others various viewpoints that in these modern times we women can usurp our man's authority and bring them around to our way of thinking and doing, now that our centuries long quest for equal treatment has emasculated them. So, can anyone explain just exactly what a man's role in his own house, and with his woman really is? Or has our culture evolved so much that we now have two heads of house, that we lead each other...



Ephesians 5:22-25 and 28-33… Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word…”

28-33… So husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church…” For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”



maybe this equal way of being is what has brought division into the core of male/female relationships, causing divorces, and noncommittal type relationships, because deep down, men have lost their innate purpose of being men when it comes to having authority over their families... instead they have become submissive and must follow their woman's whims just to keep the peace...

Any thoughts on this subject?

In terms of religion, I am very well versed in the scriptures on the subject and the only thing I believe about it is that men kept women where they wanted them for way too long under the heavy thumbs of religion.

In terms of old fashion beliefs? The concept of a woman’s place in her home and her society were based on the beliefs that she was comprehensibly capable of little else. We are way past disproving this concept. So when someone tells me they are old fashioned, I take that to mean they still believe women are trained broodmares.

On the subject of a family hierarchy, I don’t understand why one is needed. Ideally, two mature adults should be able to navigate an educated course for raising their children together and running their home smoothly. If they cannot, then maybe they should not be raising them together.

None of this requires one head or two heads. Simply two people working in harmony. No roles to play, just each individual does what they do best. We all have different talents, and if our talents don’t complement each other well, then we may have to work at compromises more than others who’s do.

yea, sorry, i'm not religious, and i think the bible was written by man, so the females will have a secondary place in the bible... back then, women needed men more than they do now, so mens egos went way outa control...a good study of this would be the muslim religion, a throwback on how men treated women back then...