My husband(separated 7 mo) is on a trip at a place that WAS one of just a few things in our bad marriage we actually shared and connected with each other and was not tainted by all the negative things in our relationship. And basically something he never did with any of the women he cheated on me with.

The trip he is on has been paid for by a woman he had relationship with while we were together and he still is. He is there with a different woman. At an event he was at while on the trip there was a terrible accident where spectators were injured. He called me and asked why hadn't I called him to check on him? I told him because he was never going to hear from me while he was there because I don't communicate with him just to chit chat casually. I speak to him only regarding our children.

I asked him why was he calling me and if anything were wrong he said "no, but who else would I call to tell what happened". I told him he could have called his mother if there were an emergency. Because I know him, he was upset at the fact that as soon as I heard the news I wasn't on the phone calling or texting him asking "are you alright!?" Which is what I used to do, always concerned about him no matter what was going on or what he did.

I didn't and don't feel any need or connection to make his well being a major concern of mine any longer.
I don't wish any harm to him at the same time I figured if something happens to him someone will let me know.

Should I have had some sympathy or concern for him on this trip or in general?

He is such a needy, consuming and draining person. I have learned that I HAVE TO keep clear boundaries with him and stay detached. He will take anything I express to him and pull it into his web of mental and emotional manipulation. I have ZERO patience and tolerance for him now.

Just good to check your balance every once in a while. Thanks Mingle friends!

He made his choice.....your way of thinking/feeling is normal and as it should be. Don't cave in.

When I was separated, before our divorce, I was notified by the Police after a serious road accident involving my then estranged wife, thankfully she survived. That was here in the UK, but I am sure you would be notified in such circumstances wherever in the world you live. In my opinion, I think you took the right course of action and you have a good perspective and the right attitude towards your present situation, it is regarding the children's welfare now where you find common ground with your estranged husband.

He mostly did and I have made mine and all my choices going forward will always be about what is best and healthiest for me and my kids.

No caving in here, I will never crawl out of that cave if I do.
Thanks!

hell NO.......I assume he was at the big race...

I'm in the U.S and yes it's the same here. We are still legally married so if anything happened to him I would be 1st hospital or police notified. So I figure if there were some emergency I need to know about then someone will contact me. Otherwise he has plenty of girlfriends that can call and check on him and make sure he is ok.

We have in place what we need to for our kids other than that, not my concern.

Thanks for sharing a similar experience.

Yep, that's where he was at. I made sure the kids knew he was fine. I'm sorry for the people that were hurt. I can only imagine how scary that was. Anything past that concerning him, I could care less.


Again, I really appreciate all the feed back from everyone.

To get on with your life should be your primary concern.

Your ex is your ex.

Yes, you should have had sympathy and concern for him on this trip or in general. By this post, you are only separated not divorced, so he is by Law still your husband. Even if you were divorced he is the childrens dad, so I would be still concerned for them, if they are underage and can not contact their dad themself. My reply is based on You saying you were separated not actually divorced. Not a ex until divorced. Imo

I agree. You have no obligation to care or sympathize with him. He cheated on you so he shows he doesn't care for you; so why care what happens to him? JMO