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| Topic: What would you do, if? | |
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In polish....it is called kavorka...sexual magnatism..... Sorry...I will try to reign it in a bit. :) yes please do, krupa, cuz it's getting more difficult to remain aloof each time I lay eyes on your profile picture...    see there, I'm losing my self control... 
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We’ve been hanging around the boards for months, reading and posting, deciding who we like, and accepting there’s some we just have nothing in common with. And of course, we’ve already put everybody in various categories such as, he’s handsome, she’s pretty, they’re intelligent, they’re sweet, they’re ornery, they’re quiet, they’re loud… We’ve even allowed ourselves to admit there are sexy people too, you know the ones, that every time we see their profile picture next to their post, even if it’s not of their face, or we see their names as a post starter and we click on them just to see what they have to say, to see how they will stir up our excitement in that way only they can. It’s a magnetism we just can’t help, because it comes from a deep primal attraction and an urge to just say “the heck with all our obvious differences” I’ve just got to taste that, even if it’s only by way of a feeling we get in that moment, like an adrenaline rush. And how much more intense does this infatuated feeling become when the subject of our fascination actually notices us? Do we take this opportunity to put our cards on the table right then, fearing it may be quit some time before they come around to speak to us again? Or do we play it cool, keeping our cards close to our vests, and wait to see if they come around again, which of course could indicate they have some interest in us, right? You're going to get a lot of different responses because everybody's situation is different. Me? I'm like navygirl, whereas it isn't going to happen. My med situation is so messed up it precludes all else. I just have to come to terms with it. I understand your situation hippie, but you have a great chance for recovery right? Won't you be able to become more active at that point? And regardless to that, you can still socialize how you like on Mingle and even date in person if you took a notion, right? I thought I would get different answers and that's what I'd like to see, those who are different from me, becuz hopefully I can learn something new. Not 100% recovery, I have other med issues and I don't see how a woman will put up with it in her right mind. So I'm not attractive as a spouse. You never know about things like that, hippie... you might meet someone with issues of her own that the two of you can relate too. I know your profile picture is attractive...  and that's the first step to making a connection, right? The initial twinge...
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I know they run from even dating me right now. So I be doomed. But,like navygirl, I gotta keep my chin up and bear it.
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I know they run from even dating me right now. So I be doomed. But,like navygirl, I gotta keep my chin up and bear it.  
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The one man I really like on Forums is too young for me.
 Right now my interest is in two men not on Forums.  I have sent them nudges and they responded. I do not waste time on date sites if I have a interest, I let a man know, but on here it is FREE so you can wait for months and years without Cost.
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Athena, a lot of people just click on profiles out of nosiness and sometimes they merely misclick. I don't read anything into it if someone views my profile. I think if there's someone on here that you like you should just message them. What do you really have to lose, or do you prefer to fantasise instead of just going for what you want? Well, I don't know what I want right now for one thing. All of this is new to me and I'm learning and enjoying the experience of interacting with some really cool people. Dating isn't even on my mind anymore, but I am attracted to some men I'd like to know better. I wouldn't expect everybody to understand the way I am, just as I don't understand the ways of others either. But, I am of the mind that we can learn from each others experiences. It's not a matter of fantasy vs. reality, it is a matter of upbringing and a code of conduct we've been trained since childhood to respect the boundaries of. Not everyone has the same values, standards, ethics, manners... not everyone is extroverts, there are introverts also... And we all have our own way of doing things. I'm sharing my way with all of you and asking you all to share yours with me. And I really do appreciate all who comment, because I enjoy getting to know you all as the family we are here on Mingle... I know what you mean. It's just the case that a lot of women go on dating sites to chat instead of looking to meet somebody. I found that very frustrating when I first tried this a few years ago. And yes, there are people like yourself that don't really know what they want or let their values and standards prevent them from agreeing to meet people that contact them on dating sites. I don't really get it entirely. It's only a date; or if you don't want to hang that label on it it's "meeting for coffee" or whatever. You meet in a public place; you take sensible precautions; people do it all the time. Of course going on a date is exciting and people get their hopes up that it's the start of something but usually it doesn't lead to anything in my experience. The problem with dragging it out too long before actually dating is that it's even more disappointing when the date doesn't go well. I'll give you an example: Before I even started going on the internet I tried the newspaper contact ads. You listened to recorded messages and if you liked the sound of someone you left them a message with your phone number. I spoke to quite a lot of women; some of them weren't interested in meeting me and some of them were. One woman refused to chat on the phone, saying that she just prefered to meet up and that date was just awful. We were completely incompatible. It wasn't fun at all but I hadn't got to know her before the date and I had no feelings for her whatsoever. Another woman and I did chat on the phone a lot and she seemed to be genuinely interested in me. She even phoned me one night asking me if I wanted her to come over. I didn't take her up on her offer because I had aranged a date with someone else the following night. The lady said to me that I shouldn't turn her offer of a night of passion down just to be honourable but I did anyway, even though she seemed more like my type than the one that I had the date with. Anyway, the date didn't go well and I eventually did meet the one that had offered to come over but in a restaurant. Well, by this time I had developed feelings for her and even though the date went badly I was rather heartbroken when she said after giving me a bunch of lame excuses as to why she didn't want to take it any further that meeting me had made her realise that she was still in love with somebody else and she was going to go back to him. I'm sorry to say it but these dating sites are full of time wasters. I'm not saying that they deliberately mess people about but they do and after a while you become rather jaded and skeptical. Yes, I would chat online with someone for as long as it takes to get that date but the reason I'm on dating sites is that I want to meet someone and not to have a pretend girlfriend in virtual reality. thanks TS, for opening up and helping me to see what you and others expect... and it's that you have a particular kind of woman you're looking for, not based on personality and intellect, but on how quickly you can meet up and establish the quality of the physical attraction between the two of you... because if you don't have that kind of connect then you both consider it wasting your time getting to know each other on more than just a superficial level... that makes sense... I don't think that's exactly what I'm saying. At least, I don't mean that personality isn't really important to me compared to just what someone looks like. When I say that one of those women seemed more like my type than the other it wasn't just because she told me that she had big boobs. She just seemed like a more passionate woman and I felt like we had more in common than I had with the other one. The other one and I got on alright on the phone but she was slightly boring and I did most of the talking. She was quite quiet on the date and when she spoke to me on the phone afterwards she told me that she found me rather overpowering and disturbing. I've heard that from people before. I am not exactly what you would call a placid person. I am passionate and I speak my mind, even when other people don't really want to hear it. I'm not really one for plesantaries and talking about the weather. Obviously I don't really know how a date is going to go and there has to be a mutual atraction but when I met my ex I wasn't imediately smitten and I wasn't sure that she was my type. We got on as friends though and I guess that we seduced each other and maybe you can call that "chemistry". The "chemistry" (for me anyway) is just about interaction. It can happen on the telephone before you've even met. To a certain degree it can even happen over the internet in emails. It is just that people tend to be different on the internet compared to how they are in the real world and that doesn't necessarily mean that they are fake on the internet or lying. The internet is just a different world. Sometimes people are actually more honest when they are safely hiding behind a computer. People will say all sorts of things to other people over the internet that they won't say to their faces. Nevertheless, it's still a real physical person that I want to have a relationship with... |
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There are many different levels of romance/relationships/love/companionship/friendship/etc. What works for one, won't for another. We all connect with people for different reasons. I maybe one of the hardest cases on this site, don't know. I just say; be open to any & all as a friend or aquantiance. Treat all the same at the start/polite if nothing else. If there is a major point of contention right off; tell them nicely. After a bit, if it seems a person is coming on strong & there is no chance; tell them politely. It all comes down to manners. "TREAT AS YOU WANT TO BE TREATED" From that point you might just be surprised as to WHOM you might connect with; to what point. JUDGE NOT, ACCEPT AS THEY ARE, BE TRUTHFULL. What will happen...WILL HAPPEN
OPINION & how I live. |
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The one man I really like on Forums is too young for me. Right now my interest is in two men not on Forums. I have sent them nudges and they responded. I do not waste time on date sites if I have a interest, I let a man know, but on here it is FREE so you can wait for months and years without Cost. the men must live in your area, right toody? or not? |
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Edited by
AthenaRose2
on
Wed 02/13/13 01:51 PM
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Athena, a lot of people just click on profiles out of nosiness and sometimes they merely misclick. I don't read anything into it if someone views my profile. I think if there's someone on here that you like you should just message them. What do you really have to lose, or do you prefer to fantasise instead of just going for what you want? Well, I don't know what I want right now for one thing. All of this is new to me and I'm learning and enjoying the experience of interacting with some really cool people. Dating isn't even on my mind anymore, but I am attracted to some men I'd like to know better. I wouldn't expect everybody to understand the way I am, just as I don't understand the ways of others either. But, I am of the mind that we can learn from each others experiences. It's not a matter of fantasy vs. reality, it is a matter of upbringing and a code of conduct we've been trained since childhood to respect the boundaries of. Not everyone has the same values, standards, ethics, manners... not everyone is extroverts, there are introverts also... And we all have our own way of doing things. I'm sharing my way with all of you and asking you all to share yours with me. And I really do appreciate all who comment, because I enjoy getting to know you all as the family we are here on Mingle... I know what you mean. It's just the case that a lot of women go on dating sites to chat instead of looking to meet somebody. I found that very frustrating when I first tried this a few years ago. And yes, there are people like yourself that don't really know what they want or let their values and standards prevent them from agreeing to meet people that contact them on dating sites. I don't really get it entirely. It's only a date; or if you don't want to hang that label on it it's "meeting for coffee" or whatever. You meet in a public place; you take sensible precautions; people do it all the time. Of course going on a date is exciting and people get their hopes up that it's the start of something but usually it doesn't lead to anything in my experience. The problem with dragging it out too long before actually dating is that it's even more disappointing when the date doesn't go well. I'll give you an example: Before I even started going on the internet I tried the newspaper contact ads. You listened to recorded messages and if you liked the sound of someone you left them a message with your phone number. I spoke to quite a lot of women; some of them weren't interested in meeting me and some of them were. One woman refused to chat on the phone, saying that she just prefered to meet up and that date was just awful. We were completely incompatible. It wasn't fun at all but I hadn't got to know her before the date and I had no feelings for her whatsoever. Another woman and I did chat on the phone a lot and she seemed to be genuinely interested in me. She even phoned me one night asking me if I wanted her to come over. I didn't take her up on her offer because I had aranged a date with someone else the following night. The lady said to me that I shouldn't turn her offer of a night of passion down just to be honourable but I did anyway, even though she seemed more like my type than the one that I had the date with. Anyway, the date didn't go well and I eventually did meet the one that had offered to come over but in a restaurant. Well, by this time I had developed feelings for her and even though the date went badly I was rather heartbroken when she said after giving me a bunch of lame excuses as to why she didn't want to take it any further that meeting me had made her realise that she was still in love with somebody else and she was going to go back to him. I'm sorry to say it but these dating sites are full of time wasters. I'm not saying that they deliberately mess people about but they do and after a while you become rather jaded and skeptical. Yes, I would chat online with someone for as long as it takes to get that date but the reason I'm on dating sites is that I want to meet someone and not to have a pretend girlfriend in virtual reality. thanks TS, for opening up and helping me to see what you and others expect... and it's that you have a particular kind of woman you're looking for, not based on personality and intellect, but on how quickly you can meet up and establish the quality of the physical attraction between the two of you... because if you don't have that kind of connect then you both consider it wasting your time getting to know each other on more than just a superficial level... that makes sense... I don't think that's exactly what I'm saying. At least, I don't mean that personality isn't really important to me compared to just what someone looks like. When I say that one of those women seemed more like my type than the other it wasn't just because she told me that she had big boobs. She just seemed like a more passionate woman and I felt like we had more in common than I had with the other one. The other one and I got on alright on the phone but she was slightly boring and I did most of the talking. She was quite quiet on the date and when she spoke to me on the phone afterwards she told me that she found me rather overpowering and disturbing. I've heard that from people before. I am not exactly what you would call a placid person. I am passionate and I speak my mind, even when other people don't really want to hear it. I'm not really one for plesantaries and talking about the weather. Obviously I don't really know how a date is going to go and there has to be a mutual atraction but when I met my ex I wasn't imediately smitten and I wasn't sure that she was my type. We got on as friends though and I guess that we seduced each other and maybe you can call that "chemistry". The "chemistry" (for me anyway) is just about interaction. It can happen on the telephone before you've even met. To a certain degree it can even happen over the internet in emails. It is just that people tend to be different on the internet compared to how they are in the real world and that doesn't necessarily mean that they are fake on the internet or lying. The internet is just a different world. Sometimes people are actually more honest when they are safely hiding behind a computer. People will say all sorts of things to other people over the internet that they won't say to their faces. Nevertheless, it's still a real physical person that I want to have a relationship with... Being less self conscious online is much easier than in person, I agree with you there. We feel more at ease saying whatever comes to mind knowing there won't be much repercussions if we talk to much or hurt someone's feelings other than a broken connection, and we can turn right around and start talking to someone else if that happens. I like how you put that about you and your ex seducing each other... that's what I'd like to do... in the fantasy in my head... mutually seduce... I think a relationship would be more exciting if both people make efforts to win the others affection... |
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There are many different levels of romance/relationships/love/companionship/friendship/etc. What works for one, won't for another. We all connect with people for different reasons. I maybe one of the hardest cases on this site, don't know. I just say; be open to any & all as a friend or aquantiance. Treat all the same at the start/polite if nothing else. If there is a major point of contention right off; tell them nicely. After a bit, if it seems a person is coming on strong & there is no chance; tell them politely. It all comes down to manners. "TREAT AS YOU WANT TO BE TREATED" From that point you might just be surprised as to WHOM you might connect with; to what point. JUDGE NOT, ACCEPT AS THEY ARE, BE TRUTHFULL. What will happen...WILL HAPPEN OPINION & how I live. thank you, oldsage, for your honest opinion... I admire the wisdom in your words, and the tone by which you deliver them... which makes it tough to believe you are a hard case...
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The one man I really like on Forums is too young for me. Right now my interest is in two men not on Forums. I have sent them nudges and they responded. I do not waste time on date sites if I have a interest, I let a man know, but on here it is FREE so you can wait for months and years without Cost. the men must live in your area, right toody? or not? No, they live in other States, I live in a small city. Most of the men of my interest live far off. They travel, some men don't have a problem traveling to meet a lady. |
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There are many different levels of romance/relationships/love/companionship/friendship/etc. What works for one, won't for another. We all connect with people for different reasons. I maybe one of the hardest cases on this site, don't know. I just say; be open to any & all as a friend or aquantiance. Treat all the same at the start/polite if nothing else. If there is a major point of contention right off; tell them nicely. After a bit, if it seems a person is coming on strong & there is no chance; tell them politely. It all comes down to manners. "TREAT AS YOU WANT TO BE TREATED" From that point you might just be surprised as to WHOM you might connect with; to what point. JUDGE NOT, ACCEPT AS THEY ARE, BE TRUTHFULL. What will happen...WILL HAPPEN OPINION & how I live. thank you, oldsage, for your honest opinion... I admire the wisdom in your words, and the tone by which you deliver them... which makes it tough to believe you are a hard case... Hard exterior's are there when necc. Life doesn't call for them constantly. |
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The one man I really like on Forums is too young for me. Right now my interest is in two men not on Forums. I have sent them nudges and they responded. I do not waste time on date sites if I have a interest, I let a man know, but on here it is FREE so you can wait for months and years without Cost. the men must live in your area, right toody? or not? No, they live in other States, I live in a small city. Most of the men of my interest live far off. They travel, some men don't have a problem traveling to meet a lady. okay... so is that something you get understood pretty quickly after first contact, if they are willing to come to your town to meet you? |
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There are many different levels of romance/relationships/love/companionship/friendship/etc. What works for one, won't for another. We all connect with people for different reasons. I maybe one of the hardest cases on this site, don't know. I just say; be open to any & all as a friend or aquantiance. Treat all the same at the start/polite if nothing else. If there is a major point of contention right off; tell them nicely. After a bit, if it seems a person is coming on strong & there is no chance; tell them politely. It all comes down to manners. "TREAT AS YOU WANT TO BE TREATED" From that point you might just be surprised as to WHOM you might connect with; to what point. JUDGE NOT, ACCEPT AS THEY ARE, BE TRUTHFULL. What will happen...WILL HAPPEN OPINION & how I live. thank you, oldsage, for your honest opinion... I admire the wisdom in your words, and the tone by which you deliver them... which makes it tough to believe you are a hard case... Hard exterior's are there when necc. Life doesn't call for them constantly. I understand... |
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Wed 02/13/13 03:56 PM
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The one man I really like on Forums is too young for me. Right now my interest is in two men not on Forums. I have sent them nudges and they responded. I do not waste time on date sites if I have a interest, I let a man know, but on here it is FREE so you can wait for months and years without Cost. the men must live in your area, right toody? or not? No, they live in other States, I live in a small city. Most of the men of my interest live far off. They travel, some men don't have a problem traveling to meet a lady. okay... so is that something you get understood pretty quickly after first contact, if they are willing to come to your town to meet you? No, we usually communicate online for a while, then move to the phone conversation, if they are interested in Meeting in person. Experience has made me know more quicky when men are serious about a Long Term Relationship. Many just want a Date or a livin woman for a time and want a nearby woman for that. |
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The one man I really like on Forums is too young for me. Right now my interest is in two men not on Forums. I have sent them nudges and they responded. I do not waste time on date sites if I have a interest, I let a man know, but on here it is FREE so you can wait for months and years without Cost. the men must live in your area, right toody? or not? No, they live in other States, I live in a small city. Most of the men of my interest live far off. They travel, some men don't have a problem traveling to meet a lady. okay... so is that something you get understood pretty quickly after first contact, if they are willing to come to your town to meet you? No, we usually communicate online for a while, then move to the phone conversation, if they are interested in Meeting in person. Experience has made me know more quicky when men are serious about a Long Term Relationship. Many just want a Date or a livin woman for a time and want a nearby woman for that. okay, I understand... it takes time... you have to be careful too... |
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I don't invest anything emotionally before approaching someone. I wait until I get to know her a little before I become really interested and I never chase the ones that I don't hit it off with. This way I'm never rejected because I don't ask her out until I know she'll say yes.
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I don't invest anything emotionally before approaching someone. I wait until I get to know her a little before I become really interested and I never chase the ones that I don't hit it off with. This way I'm never rejected because I don't ask her out until I know she'll say yes. I like your answer scoundrel... that you don't ask until you know she'll say yes... I bet it's not difficult to win a woman's heart with Texas charm...
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We’ve been hanging around the boards for months, reading and posting, deciding who we like, and accepting there’s some we just have nothing in common with. And of course, we’ve already put everybody in various categories such as, he’s handsome, she’s pretty, they’re intelligent, they’re sweet, they’re ornery, they’re quiet, they’re loud… We’ve even allowed ourselves to admit there are sexy people too, you know the ones, that every time we see their profile picture next to their post, even if it’s not of their face, or we see their names as a post starter and we click on them just to see what they have to say, to see how they will stir up our excitement in that way only they can. It’s a magnetism we just can’t help, because it comes from a deep primal attraction and an urge to just say “the heck with all our obvious differences” I’ve just got to taste that, even if it’s only by way of a feeling we get in that moment, like an adrenaline rush. And how much more intense does this infatuated feeling become when the subject of our fascination actually notices us? Do we take this opportunity to put our cards on the table right then, fearing it may be quit some time before they come around to speak to us again? Or do we play it cool, keeping our cards close to our vests, and wait to see if they come around again, which of course could indicate they have some interest in us, right? [/quote Let me get this right. Are you asking the guys or the ladies? |
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We’ve been hanging around the boards for months, reading and posting, deciding who we like, and accepting there’s some we just have nothing in common with. And of course, we’ve already put everybody in various categories such as, he’s handsome, she’s pretty, they’re intelligent, they’re sweet, they’re ornery, they’re quiet, they’re loud… We’ve even allowed ourselves to admit there are sexy people too, you know the ones, that every time we see their profile picture next to their post, even if it’s not of their face, or we see their names as a post starter and we click on them just to see what they have to say, to see how they will stir up our excitement in that way only they can. It’s a magnetism we just can’t help, because it comes from a deep primal attraction and an urge to just say “the heck with all our obvious differences” I’ve just got to taste that, even if it’s only by way of a feeling we get in that moment, like an adrenaline rush. And how much more intense does this infatuated feeling become when the subject of our fascination actually notices us? Do we take this opportunity to put our cards on the table right then, fearing it may be quit some time before they come around to speak to us again? Or do we play it cool, keeping our cards close to our vests, and wait to see if they come around again, which of course could indicate they have some interest in us, right? [/quote Let me get this right. Are you asking the guys or the ladies? Both... from either perspective... |
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