You're only friends with women you're attracted to? Do you become friends based on that attraction? What happens when you get along well with someone you're not attracted to?

That being said, I am friends with men and women. Some of the men I find attractive, but that doesn't mean we're not friends.

I'm not talking about you and your friends. I'm talking about men and women in general. Generally speaking, men and woman cannot be true friends because one is secretly sexually attracted to the other.

Years ago Napoleon Hill wrote a book called: "Think and Grow Rich." He basically advised men to sublimate their sex drive and their addictions and attractions to other things in life that could lead them astray. (And take their focus off achieving their goals.)...He advised men to find a good woman and settle down so they wouldn't have wandering eyes and minds...This way they could devote themselves to fulfilling their potential and achieving great things in life. (Beyond their next "lay" and "sexual conquest" or their next drink at the local bar.)... Both my parents advised me to be this way when I was growing-up. They wanted me to develop goals of my very own beyond just being someone's wife and mother...I think our attitude about the opposite sex has a lot to do with our early upbringing and programming.

Here's the evidence. Men and women cannot be just friends.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends&page=2

Well look here... something I can agree with.
I have 5 brothers... generally, men dont keep women friends unless shes sexually attractive, and he thinks he might have a shot sometime.
Ive met few exceptions.
Women however, generally have no problems being just friends, because they arent aware of men's intentions... or wont believe it.
I'm ganna get it for this one

Really? I have a friend of mine that I have known for 33 years and there has never been an attraction between us as we just served together in the military. I have another friend who lives a few blocks from me that I have known for 16 years who is 15 years younger than me and we became friends from a Sci Fi club. He likes women his age so I know there is no attraction between us. I am dear friends with a guy and his wife but there is not attraction as he is married and he loves his wife dearly. I guess I am fortunate that my male friends and I have a friendship that goes beyond a sexual attraction. I will accept anyone as a friend and I don't have to be attracted to them; as we can just share a general interest. Oh well; to each his/her own.

You're only friends with women you're attracted to? Do you become friends based on that attraction? What happens when you get along well with someone you're not attracted to?

That being said, I am friends with men and women. Some of the men I find attractive, but that doesn't mean we're not friends.

how do you know whats on his mind?

it's hard for us to realize each others thoughts, me being a man and you a woman... we all see things differently, and i cannot begin to understand what a woman is thinking at any given time... i'm not saying i won't be friends with a chick i'm not attracted to, but the ones i'm attracted to will come first...meaning if they both needed some kind of help, who do you think i would help first?

We do this amazing thing called talking. This discussion came up and though he thinks I am great as "one of the boys", he could never have romantic feelings towards me. I just saw him and his wife a couple years ago as they visited me here in Calgary.

That does make sense but you have admitted that you can be friends with someone you are not attracted to. I am friends with my neighbors; friends with my co-workers, friends with married couples and I know they are not attracted to me. Facts are facts that men are not attracted to my appearance; so where would be the attraction? We share a common interest but their attraction might be say a younger woman, a woman that is very skinny, very petite, has black hair, etc. So, logical conclusion if they are looking for a particular woman which they openly tell me; then there is no obvious attraction. Perhaps Canadians think differently than Americans as after all the study was done on Americans by Americans. Surely; I can't be the only woman in the whole world that has male friends that simply aren't attracted to me.

Navy, I don't think this is the type of friendship that is meant in this post.
I think maybe, what is being referred to is a friendship where they see each other on a regular basis, and do stuff together a lot. Call each other, share with each other... this closeness.

I have a friend of mine that lives a block and 1/2 away from me. We just went for lunch on Saturday and we call each other at least 2 to 3 times a week. We camp and go on local trips together. Is this the type of friendship you are talking about? He still has no romantic feelings for me as he prefers women his own age. Our age difference is 15 years apart. How about friends with my co-workers? I see them 40 hours a week and sometimes we will have lunch or even drinks after work together. Still; they are not attracted to me other than a co-worker. The topic says men and women can't be friends. As one poster brilliantly put; there are different levels of friendships but they are none the less friendships.

I'll admit this... maybe my thoughts are based on that i'm actively looking for a girlfriend or more, and once i have someone that i settled with, then my thoughts might be different... but it seems like my thought patterns haven't changed much over the years...