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| Topic: Why come on a dating site just to rant?? | |
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This is an international site, and as such I believe there is a need to be tolerant of how people from different parts of the world address others, even strangers. To take offense by someone addressing you for the first time in a away you don't like is a bit petty to say the least in my opinion. Surely the gist of the first email, or subsequent emails if there are any, provide a far better indicator of the person than how you were addressed for the first time. I also think as this is an International site; one needs to be aware of how different cultures will react to what you think is minor or petty. I am not saying don't be cautious of how you address others. I am saying we should be tolerant of how others address us, to quickly condemn someone because they have greeted you for the first time in a way you do not like is being petty in my opinion. Everyone will not be as cautious as you are and we should accept that, it has already been said by many others in this thread, that depending on where you live casual greetings to all, including strangers, can be very different, without any offense being meant and in my opinion none should be taken. Sure, but shouldn't the person using the terms of endearment also be cautious of who they use them with, so not to offend those they don't know well? The tolerance needs to go both ways, not just be on the receiving end of these terms. |
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Edited by
KiK2me
on
Thu 02/07/13 11:11 AM
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I use these "Terms of endearment" for just that
Terms of endearment to people i like Or that i am trying to get to know better It is a nicety to me If someone can't take being called a nice or sweet name than maybe they should tell the potential friend so ? Or even better give the person a name they prefer to the terms of endearment ? {So that's why i get ignored so much...lol} Don't care either ! Guess i'll never learn... KiK yes you do... but you do it right Thank you Girl ! You are a sweet lady See??? That in itself, was sweet... 
{ah Gawarsh} 
KiK |
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You are missing my point. There are times its not appropriate to address a person in that manner and I am saying when I am in uniform commanding people. As I said in my last post; you wouldn't address a cop or a court judge that way. Its simply called respect. If you don't know that person; you shouldn't address them in a familiar way. Even my friends would not address me as "Hon" when I am in uniform as they respect me. As I said; there is a time and place where I would let it slide but not when I am in a position of authority. You are missing my point. There are times its not appropriate to address a person in that manner and I am saying when I am in uniform commanding people. As I said in my last post; you wouldn't address a cop or a court judge that way. Its simply called respect. If you don't know that person; you shouldn't address them in a familiar way. Even my friends would not address me as "Hon" when I am in uniform as they respect me. As I said; there is a time and place where I would let it slide but not when I am in a position of authority. Well, I've been known to miss a point or two... and perhaps I have again? I understand that you're proud of what your uniform, the things that you've done to acheive and wear it and all the things behind both the uniform and the personal sacrifices peeps do to get there. I am truely proud of folks like you that make those adjustments in their lives to both achieve and wear admirably wear colors. (In parlance... it takes me about 2 seconds to discern you as a career-men not a "lifer"... understand?) So your point is what... just one more time for a simple fella like me, please? To be clear: -Respect is important to me.. regardless of social status/position. (A personal motto fer me is that there's Respect, Lack of Respect and then DisRespect... the first two I feel that I have an open road to, at anytime, as see fit; situation dictates. The last one is something that I approach cautiously and rarely use. -Yes I would (and have in the past) addressed persons in authority positions; exactly judges and LE peeps (and ranks above my status when serving); as though they weren't deserving. Situations dicatated some of my behavior. And that was generally because they removed themselves (from my perspective) outside of their duties and "uniform"/position. - My point to you was that you posted a pic (your main pic) on a Dating/Social site, In-Uniform!? Why? Surely, you can see that it could be a bit confusing in this particular situation... imo. Do you want to be seen as in command of respect of authority... or just seen as a gal that's socializing, as "you"? See? I thouroughly agree that everyone deserves the respect of common decency and approach. But it's a diverse world too, right? (relativism rears it's ugly head in the real-world of the make-believe world of Internet sites, haha.) We'll get all types here... that should be "a given". You... you're two individuals at the same time... an individual of rank and character... defined by your career. But also, "you", the individual. That's a person we all have yet to discover. But of all the rants that you have to offer... (not saying that you rant all the time... as I enjoy reading many of your posts), this one seems rather "small". A lesser battle. Does that make sense? BTW... thanks for covering my back... I'm sure that Appleseed meant well. 
Wishing you all my best! |
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The scammers I have run into always say "Hi pretty". Red flag!!!!! I believe that normally, honey, baby & such should be terms of endearment. However saying thanks hon to a waitress isn't necessarily out of line. Most of the waitresses do it as well. I just like to know someone a little bit before he calls me names that I think should be a little special.  Angel and Princess are usually tip-offs too... 
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Here's how it plays out: "As far as I'm concerned you have no rights at all. I'm the only one who has rights...I have the right to call you any name I want to call you and you don't have the right to object or complain...You are who I say you are...I am king and god and lord and master and what I say goes..You are way down at the bottom of the totem pole with no rights at all...I call the shots. I say 'what's what' and 'whose who' not you...If I want to call you honey or sweetheart or darling (or any other name of my choosing) don't you dare contradict me...I make the rules not you...You have no rights. You live under my thumb and domain."
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*^_^*
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Thu 02/07/13 02:53 PM
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Teditis:
I wear my uniform so that men know ahead of time I am a military gal. Most men turn and run when they find out I am military; so may as well be up front about it. I also don't expect respect for my uniform as I find a lot of men don't even respect me as a woman so I doubt my uniform will make them feel differently. I am not demanding respect because of my uniform as I think everyone deserves to be respected as a person. Maybe you could do it; but I would not dare address a Police officer, or judge, or my boss in a familiar way but to each his own. This is just my opinion but as I said there are times to me that it is inappropriate to address a person in a familiar way. Some people will accept it but others will be offended and this is what the Op was talking abou.T I just happen to agree with her but as I said we will all have our own opinions. |
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Here's how it plays out: "As far as I'm concerned you have no rights at all. I'm the only one who has rights...I have the right to call you any name I want to call you and you don't have the right to object or complain...You are who I say you are...I am king and god and lord and master and what I say goes..You are way down at the bottom of the totem pole with no rights at all...I call the shots. I say 'what's what' and 'whose who' not you...If I want to call you honey or sweetheart or darling (or any other name of my choosing) don't you dare contradict me...I make the rules not you...You have no rights. You live under my thumb and domain." Yeah; that is how I am reading it too. Arrogance at its best. |
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Teditis: I wear my uniform so that men know ahead of time I am a military gal. Most men turn and run when they find out I am military; so may as well be up front about it. I also don't expect respect for my uniform as I find a lot of men don't even respect me as a woman so I doubt my uniform will make them feel differently. I am not demanding respect because of my uniform as I think everyone deserves to be respected as a person. Maybe you could do it; but I would not dare address a Police officer, or judge, or my boss in a familiar way but to each his own. This is just my opinion but as I said there are times to me that it is inappropriate to address a person in a familiar way. Some people will accept it but others will be offended and this is what the Op was talking abou.T I just happen to agree with her but as I said we will all have our own opinions. Well said. And ty... I think that we agree on most aspects. I grew-up near Capitol Hill. After I served... I went into DoD contractors. Judges and LE were virtually a daily routine... perhaps I've become jaded? Anyway, I can't believe that in this day-in-age... peeps might turn and run at a lady in Uniform... that's sad. I guess that I overlooked that... Peace?! Hope so... |
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Teditis: I wear my uniform so that men know ahead of time I am a military gal. Most men turn and run when they find out I am military; so may as well be up front about it. I also don't expect respect for my uniform as I find a lot of men don't even respect me as a woman so I doubt my uniform will make them feel differently. I am not demanding respect because of my uniform as I think everyone deserves to be respected as a person. Maybe you could do it; but I would not dare address a Police officer, or judge, or my boss in a familiar way but to each his own. This is just my opinion but as I said there are times to me that it is inappropriate to address a person in a familiar way. Some people will accept it but others will be offended and this is what the Op was talking abou.T I just happen to agree with her but as I said we will all have our own opinions. Well said. And ty... I think that we agree on most aspects. I grew-up near Capitol Hill. After I served... I went into DoD contractors. Judges and LE were virtually a daily routine... perhaps I've become jaded? Anyway, I can't believe that in this day-in-age... peeps might turn and run at a lady in Uniform... that's sad. I guess that I overlooked that... Peace?! Hope so... Absolutely peace. No worries; I get rejected for a lot of reasons as well as my uniform but I am used to it. Life goes on. 
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I bettin that the fellas that reject don't know what they're missing!!
All my best! |
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This is an international site, and as such I believe there is a need to be tolerant of how people from different parts of the world address others, even strangers. To take offense by someone addressing you for the first time in a away you don't like is a bit petty to say the least in my opinion. Surely the gist of the first email, or subsequent emails if there are any, provide a far better indicator of the person than how you were addressed for the first time. I also think as this is an International site; one needs to be aware of how different cultures will react to what you think is minor or petty. I am not saying don't be cautious of how you address others. I am saying we should be tolerant of how others address us, to quickly condemn someone because they have greeted you for the first time in a way you do not like is being petty in my opinion. Everyone will not be as cautious as you are and we should accept that, it has already been said by many others in this thread, that depending on where you live casual greetings to all, including strangers, can be very different, without any offense being meant and in my opinion none should be taken. I agree with a lot of this post... however.. if we are talking about an American man, and an American woman... men should know how to behave as to not offend. If they don't? bye! I don't have time to waste on someone that doesn't even know how to address me in an email. You are clearly a person that will not tolerate error, or ignorance in email etiquette. It is true to say that not everyone knows or follows the rules, and most have no wish to offend anyone in my opinion, I am quite happy to accept whatever greeting I am given. |
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This is an international site, and as such I believe there is a need to be tolerant of how people from different parts of the world address others, even strangers. To take offense by someone addressing you for the first time in a away you don't like is a bit petty to say the least in my opinion. Surely the gist of the first email, or subsequent emails if there are any, provide a far better indicator of the person than how you were addressed for the first time. I also think as this is an International site; one needs to be aware of how different cultures will react to what you think is minor or petty. I am not saying don't be cautious of how you address others. I am saying we should be tolerant of how others address us, to quickly condemn someone because they have greeted you for the first time in a way you do not like is being petty in my opinion. Everyone will not be as cautious as you are and we should accept that, it has already been said by many others in this thread, that depending on where you live casual greetings to all, including strangers, can be very different, without any offense being meant and in my opinion none should be taken. Sure, but shouldn't the person using the terms of endearment also be cautious of who they use them with, so not to offend those they don't know well? The tolerance needs to go both ways, not just be on the receiving end of these terms. I agree with what you have said. What I have suggested is that we tolerate the initial greeting, however much we don't like it, because this is probably the way they customarily address people. |
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Edited by
GreenEyes48
on
Fri 02/08/13 07:27 AM
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I recently came across a profile where this young lady had written about leaving this site because men use words like baby, honey, beautiful ect when messaging her and shes highly offended that men would speak that way to her when she doesnt even know them and why are all the men just trying to f**k her on a dating site... My response to her is as follows lol: I just wanted to say that after reading your profile rant i was shocked. This site like mant others have the option for "casual encounters" meaning that there are people on here just wanting to get down and dirty. If thats offensive to you maybe you should try "E Harmony" or "Christian Mingle" You are a beautiful women so why take offense to someone telling you they think you are? I use the word hon alot in messages, is that wrong as well. I swear politeness is so rare these days that some people mistake it for flurtation...Please, message me back. I met a man online about 3 years back. We met inperson after talking on phone for two months. We disagreed on many things after meeting in person and I didn't want a second date even though the first date went well I thought. He would always call me "Sweetheart" when got into an argument and say lets talk this out, we can do it. I didn't like how he used that name, to calm me down. It did not work on me! And, no telling how many women he called "Sweetheart" and I told him that as well. He was a Reitred Marine and very controlling.
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Why do some men feel that they have to flatter a woman or comment on her supposed "beauty" in first-encounter emails?...This just seems really "old-school" to me. It brings back memories of old movies like "Gone with the Wind" or "An Affair to Remember" or ?..We live in modern times now where women hold down jobs along with raising kids (as single parents) and some women might be putting in "all-nighters" to study for advanced degrees etc...All the "gushy names" just don't seem relevant or appropriate the way they might have in the olden days.
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Too much to read.....
Makes head hurt and eyes cross.... If trying to flatter a woman is bad.....I am screwed. Those wenches need a good flatter every now and then. The ones who don't want my flattery can feel free to keep on being stuck up prudes. |
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I recently came across a profile where this young lady had written about leaving this site because men use words like baby, honey, beautiful ect when messaging her and shes highly offended that men would speak that way to her when she doesnt even know them and why are all the men just trying to f**k her on a dating site... My response to her is as follows lol: I just wanted to say that after reading your profile rant i was shocked. This site like mant others have the option for "casual encounters" meaning that there are people on here just wanting to get down and dirty. If thats offensive to you maybe you should try "E Harmony" or "Christian Mingle" You are a beautiful women so why take offense to someone telling you they think you are? I use the word hon alot in messages, is that wrong as well. I swear politeness is so rare these days that some people mistake it for flurtation...Please, message me back. I met a man online about 3 years back. We met inperson after talking on phone for two months. We disagreed on many things after meeting in person and I didn't want a second date even though the first date went well I thought. He would always call me "Sweetheart" when got into an argument and say lets talk this out, we can do it. I didn't like how he used that name, to calm me down. It did not work on me! And, no telling how many women he called "Sweetheart" and I told him that as well. He was a Reitred Marine and very controlling.
They out manipulate the manipulation by pretending they don't understand it is manipulation...They do this ALL THE TIME 
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Well, some People are just Sad. Some are Anti-social
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I guess we're all expected to play out "set roles."...Personally I enjoy being free to be who I want to be. (At any given point in time.)..Roles are too confining and suffocating for me.
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I recently came across a profile where this young lady had written about leaving this site because men use words like baby, honey, beautiful ect when messaging her and shes highly offended that men would speak that way to her when she doesnt even know them and why are all the men just trying to f**k her on a dating site... My response to her is as follows lol: I just wanted to say that after reading your profile rant i was shocked. This site like mant others have the option for "casual encounters" meaning that there are people on here just wanting to get down and dirty. If thats offensive to you maybe you should try "E Harmony" or "Christian Mingle" You are a beautiful women so why take offense to someone telling you they think you are? I use the word hon alot in messages, is that wrong as well. I swear politeness is so rare these days that some people mistake it for flurtation...Please, message me back. I met a man online about 3 years back. We met inperson after talking on phone for two months. We disagreed on many things after meeting in person and I didn't want a second date even though the first date went well I thought. He would always call me "Sweetheart" when got into an argument and say lets talk this out, we can do it. I didn't like how he used that name, to calm me down. It did not work on me! And, no telling how many women he called "Sweetheart" and I told him that as well. He was a Reitred Marine and very controlling.
They out manipulate the manipulation by pretending they don't understand it is manipulation...They do this ALL THE TIME
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