Hi I am a single dad too. And to be honest i didnt do much of a good job. I was young and naive thinking I was ready to start a family. Had a poor education and hardly any money. It started out ok through the pregnancy then just before my first son arrived everything just went wrong. Lost my job got depressed and felt worthless and turned to drink and drugs to substitute. It got so bad she actually stabbed me in the neck. but we still carried on and had our second son and I was still in the trap. We split for good and after that did some hard time both in UK and USA.

Sorry. Big thumbs on a little touch screen. But back to what i was saying. After the USA i came home in 09 and been clean ever since and the best thing is my kids still love me and forgive all i had done. I feel blessed and i will always be there for them God willing. Its a difficult job but im more than ready for it and as they are in their teens now, i think i got back to reality just in time especially how teens are these days. Stay strong dads and mums. If you want to do it, you will. Sorry its long winded but i had to say something. Peace and Love to all.

Wow I am truly amazed and truly inspired by these posts..(shaking my head at some)but for a second there I was speechless and taken aback by so much love you guys have it is just so admirable what people go through yet prevail and even come out stronger and better than before.I applaud all of you moms and dads for the love and care you have shown not only to your kids but to others as well cause as I read these posts I felt loved as well...lol then I think if everybody was like you lot here a world would be a better place.(A man is not a man by his words but a man by his actions)...SALUTE!

While I am going to preface this that I have not seen that many people on Mingle that I felt go for custody just to "save face" or pacify Grandparents, and keep kids out of the system I am seeing it in the greater society.

And I have been more than a little stressed watching 'Family court' and the number of Father's that are being routinely given custody when it has little if nothing to do with the BEST INTEREST of the child but put out there as Gender equality.

To me a parent that FINALLY cleans up their act should not be instantly rewarded by giving a child to them when the child would not be placed in their care if they had the same record as a non-parent.

I have long seen the policy of giving children to grandparents that have already failed in raising responsible adults but what I have seen now is the court awarding children supposedly to the biological father when in reality they are totally dependent on a third party and not demonstrated even a minimal amount of parenting skills.

What I have seen is guys, I don't call them Men or Father's, pounding their chest and demanding custody when in fact it is ageing Grandmother's, siblings, the oldest child, and a series of low life live in girlfriends who are so called raising the kids. Or the kids are parked in daycare as many hours as possible and or stuck with under paid non-literate live in nanny's until they are parked in boarding schools.

What really topped it recently was an affluent male grand parent that went to court and demanded custody on basis of gender over the other family members of his ill daughter's kids not because she was in his view "unfit" but because he admittedly felt guilty that he had long been and absent parent in his own family and wanted to keep the grand kids together when the two adult siblings were more than capable of stepping in and splitting the kids between the two close extended family as age appropriate parents that could work with the biological mother who he had kicked to the curb as a pregnant teen. Thankfully the CASA advocate stepped in when Grandpa repeatedly had melt downs at the kids schools and the kids are in temporary custody of the Aunts (&Uncles in law & Mom) they should have been with in the beginning but now the kids are lagged behind in the their school work from being moved through a series of schools public and private.

With little or no follow up from the court that the placement is going well for the children father's getting custody is often no better than moms getting custody.

What knocks me out are the guys who have custody and use their kids; pretty much as slaves to clean their house, work in their businesses for free, and care for ageing parents or as their own free aid and attendant.

Hopefully quality fathers and mother's will continue to speak up about the needs of single parents so the kids get a better deal.

Or in my case a woman who lied and cheated on me for 5 months *high five*

Couldn't agree more

Sweet response. I have been a single dad for four years and the idea of using a kid to pick other women is a bit if a fallacy. I have been totally single for the whole four years because I find even the women who might smile at me in town with my daughter give me the look like I am either having touch of parenting tossed in me or I am waiting for her mum to come out the shop

Single dad here, 4 years in and I am hoping now my daughter is not a baby any more that I can mingle a little because at school and other events we are shunned like mongrels with fleas at a pedigree show

That's so cool that that's how you feel!!! Totally agree !

WOW IS THAT LIKE THE PRES OF THE MENS HATERS CLUB OR WHAT LMFAO

The truth of the matter is it's double standards with some women? When I raised my son and met a single woman, they would be interested in me, but didn't want the thought of another womans child being part of the equation either. Single mothers could be just as bad too. Sometimes it was if their kids were the be all and end all and my kid was just a 2nd class citizen to them? Not to me though, my kid is my life and that's why these women fell by the wayside. I know not all women are the same and they are good ones out there. It's just my experience of the double standards that I came across when I was raising my son, that's all.

I find them attractive I think it's the love and dedication they have. It takes a great man to raise babies by himself. Very attractive.

I was asked by a female case worker and a female child support worker.

Why do you have the kids and their not with their mother?

So did i. I told them that she was a mad cokehead, that couldn't be arsed with her kid, as the drugs came first. Which was the truth!

I've done the step-family thing once, never again. Fine if my future partner has kids, but if they still live at home and/or at his place, I think I'll take a rain-check.
My kids have moved out, are taking care of their own lives, I'm very happy I have my own life and freedom back, just the natural thing that happens as your kids get older. Both kids and parents growing ready to go their own ways in life and be captains on their own ships.
And with the problems I had to endure with my ex's two kids, no way in he|| would I do the step-family thing again.
My daughter ended up having a relationship with my ex's son for 2, 3 years. Not going into any details other than "Hell on earth!!!!" Actually that should've been in capitals, it was that bad.

Funny enough many men my age still have young kids. Guess many men around my age were late bloomers?
Just no way I'm going to give up my freedom to stay home and go through all the shite and worries that come with (pre)teenage kids. Been there, done that, chucked the T-shirt.
I've done my duty as a parent, at some point, when my kids are a bit older, I'm hoping to become a grandparent, but for now, it's party time for me, live & enjoy life!

So single dads, great, wonderful, but not for me.

i became a singl dad of two children after my partner died , it is sad to see so many hateful parents even worse they use children as weaoos / tools against each other , putting children first is the priority , they need both parents , women do not like single dads i know from first hand experieance , thats why i am single

Lol,never stress tour self much on that my be loving friend

Lol,never stress your self much on that my be loving friend

Oh,that sound bad,just in a matter of determination and your focus,pleas my friend don't ever give up,I pray you will over com everything's that has happen to you

Wow,I really enjoy your comments,keep it up