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| Topic: Significant others and pets | |
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Bored? I'm sure your lady will be along soon to liven things up a bit! |
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It's a tough one, because some people form such strong bonds with their pet where the love is unconditional. If both parties were truly fond of each other, i would imagine a compromise could be found to accomodate both the sig other and the beloved pet. Oh look, someone who may be willing to compromise. Nice. I appreciate that type of thinking...and would always do my best to accommodate and create a solution for those who at least try to compromise as well. So, If I may put the shoe on the other foot. If I have a Snake, Rat, Lizard, as my beloved pet and sleep with it loose in the room or on the bed. Would those who are extremely attached to their own pets be willing to try that out? Well i forsee the lizard looking somewhat bemused at the snake eyeballing the rat as lunch...so that scenario pretty much takes care of itself i would say. Who sleeps with a snake, rat & lizard anyway? 
Ha...Quite amused with your insight... 
But if it were a small non-venomous snake and a giant vietnamese rat. The tables could be turned, plus the lizard may become lunch as well. It does look as if Andy does... Wellll...Andy then has to decide betwixt staying home with the reptiles and rodents....or a sleepover at the GF's place. Geeez...that's a hard one innit? ;-) Past experience life lesson, I will never give up a friend over pu$$y as long as that friend is not hurting me. The fact is so many people claim to be animal lovers and they really are not. They only like what is cute and furry. As strange as this may sound lizards do have a sort of sense of affection. Rats DEFINITELY DO! And try to tell me Dogs don't have feelings as well? I have had an African Red Tailed Parrot tell me to "Fuque off" Right after he bit me. Tell me that parrot did not know what it was doing or saying? I clearly heard that bird say those two words looking me right in the eye. Polly did not like getting his bird *** literally thrown into his cage and locked in it. Drawing my blood has its price and that price is a lot of pain! I taste like pain! The thing is more what would you be willing to give up for sex. This may infer a relationship but please... I personally view people who would give up a friend over sex as shallow, weak, and morally bankrupt. I gave up pet rats because the crushing thing to me about them is their short life spans. 2 to 3 years is a rip off! I had pet rats that made DOGS and extremely smart ones look stupid! Rats can learn behaviors outside of their nature. Dogs VERY rarely do so. Not all rats make good pets but like many animals some shine above others of their own kind. I personally have always liked exotic animals. I would love to have a pet skunk but they too require rabies shots as well as other vaccinations. They are no beginner animal at all and they are like cats with dog like tendencies with one huge glaring exception they are curious as monkeys and likewise their paws are just as manipulative as human hands. Unless you harden your home and make small changes to accommodate them they can wreak havoc in your house. Even a fox would be a really cool pet provided it can be accommodated. Imagine something that LOOKS like a dog but tries to perch on your shoulder like a cat... they are way different animals from what anyone would expect. They climb and dig so its like a dog that thinks its a cat. Big problem though is they LOVE to kill cats. They are hunters. Unless raised with and trained not to do it any cats in the area become targets as well as all the birds, lizards, mice, rats, and pretty much anything not big enough or poisonous enough to be afraid of is on the menu. And they love to stash food and bring back presents to the nest. They love to prove their capacities as hunters to their 'owners.' At least animals don't break your heart the way other humans do. So if you are an animal lover (and I don't mean bestial dang navit!) you may wish to stick to a partner who is likewise an animal lover. If not you are just asking for conflict. To some people things like animals are just that to them, things, inanimate objects bereft of feeling. I may be Draconian but I sure have a hard time with people that are cold like that. Even I appreciate life beyond just the world of man. So if that is a reason for being ridiculed so be it. At least I am not some pu$$ywhipped closeted azz sucker who would sell out his friends, human or animal over a wet slit and a few minuets of pleasure! I would rather be sexually involved with a woman who gets me and can work with me rather than joust around with my penis trying to find that special one. I know it goes both ways. I don't like cats as pets but I can put up with them. I am capable of SOME adaptation. It is when the animal fills a role of say "childhood" (surrogate children) and likewise are as bad as spoiled children (no manners, not trained, will piss on the floor right in front of you without discipline, bites, etc.) is where I will contest the presence of a pet in my life. I even had to train my pet rats not to bite. Its easy when they are young and they learn fast but when they get older their bite can really effing hurt. So I trained them about biting right out the gate from getting them. the difference was when my hand was presented to them it COULD smell like food but they would check first before doing what rats do, GRAB AND GO! Even having peanut butter on my finger would not lead me to bleed even if I stuck my hand in the cage. That didn't mean they would not strip my finger of any and all peanut butter found on it. Some pets you don't handle at all. Right now I got a fish tank and I sure don't pet them. They do gang up on my finger though. Even I get more attention from them than women give me right now unless they need something of me or want to chew me out... Now does anybody want to talk about pet ownership going overboard? Imagine being that poor bastard married to a woman who suddenly is adopting a new dog or cat every day and suddenly the house is full of animals, dogs and cats... Everything in its own moderation folks, isn't that the idea of a relationship? If it fits for you go with it but if you are miserable in the process is it worth it? People are so Here and Now and they think not of tomorrow until they wake up to the disaster of the day before. |
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There doesn't appear to be any room for compromise in there.
I do however, agree with learning from a pet in the sense that one can always do what dogs do. Kick some grass over that crap and move on. |
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I try not to put myself in a compromising situation when it comes to my pets. Generally I am not attracted to a man who is not a pet lover anyhow. Its just something I need to have in common with him for a relationship to work.There are enough other things I would compromise on though.
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Now you got me doing it! |
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she asked about significant others ..not babies.And At my age babies aren't something I need to worry about. you already indicated that to give up a pet would be selfish ..which is an indication that you wouldn't care if your significant other was allergic and became sick around your pet .....I was just wondering would you do the same to a baby Oh no..sorry that's not what I meant. When I said giving up a pet for selfish reasons I meant because they no long suited you or became an inconvenience in your life. I Personally have known too many people who view their pets as disposable. Something or someone better comes along so bye bye pet. If somebody I was involved with became ill after we were together that would not be a selfish reason but rather a medical issue, so options would have to be considered. However I would not start a reationship with someone that wanted me to give up my pets. BettyB...now you're contradicting yourself because the topic of the thread asked would you give up a pet if your significate other is allergic to it, which in fact constitute as being a Medical issue....from the beginning you have lead a Bob Baker style campaign that one should keep a pet for life and tried to vilify those that would give up a pet for a person this is why the "Love Me Love My Pet" philosophy cause pet owners to lose focus.....because it requires someone to practically be on their death bed before the owner is willing to compromise |
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she asked about significant others ..not babies.And At my age babies aren't something I need to worry about. you already indicated that to give up a pet would be selfish ..which is an indication that you wouldn't care if your significant other was allergic and became sick around your pet .....I was just wondering would you do the same to a baby Oh no..sorry that's not what I meant. When I said giving up a pet for selfish reasons I meant because they no long suited you or became an inconvenience in your life. I Personally have known too many people who view their pets as disposable. Something or someone better comes along so bye bye pet. If somebody I was involved with became ill after we were together that would not be a selfish reason but rather a medical issue, so options would have to be considered. However I would not start a reationship with someone that wanted me to give up my pets. BettyB...now you're contradicting yourself because the topic of the thread asked would you give up a pet if your significate other is allergic to it, which in fact constitute as being a Medical issue....from the beginning you have lead a Bob Baker style campaign that one should keep a pet for life and tried to vilify those that would give up a pet for a person this is why the "Love Me Love My Pet" philosophy cause pet owners to lose focus.....because it requires someone to practically be on their death bed before the owner is willing to compromise Well said.... |
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Edited by
BettyB
on
Thu 12/13/12 07:07 AM
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I said any man I dated I would not give up my pet for.He would know about this ahead of time before I got involved with him.So no I did not contradict myself.
However feel to interpret whatever I say which ever way suits you best. I know whats in my heart and if you or anybody else doesn,t like it too bad. |
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I can get a minor allergic reaction to cats. More so if its sleeping in the same room with me, or if there is a lot hair present. I would never, ever, even think of asking someone to get rid of any pet period. I have asked for the cat be out of the room when Im staying over, that it would be appreciated. If not, "you" would have to come to my place, or yes, we aren't a match, and I wouldn't bother going any further. This has come up several times, while dating and choices were made to compromise. I have yet, to run across a lady unwilling to do so. I am not unreasonable and I do like pets. Cats, Dogs and other as well. I really don't understand an animal needing to be in the room, during intimacy... Would that mean, you take that animal with you 24/7? That it cannot be alone at various times? Really, what is the difference if the animal is out of the room for awhile at times. If it really becomes a huge problem, I suppose "they" will have their animal to comfort them...Im not going to lose any sleep over it... Do you mention up front that you're allergic to cats and you want them to sleep in the other room? This hasn't come up before for me when dating someone, but I would be unable to make my cat sleep in another room, as there's no door to close. I see that you don't understand the animal needing to be in the room during intimacy. Like I said, in my case, there isn't a door to close. Has it ever been a problem? No. Perhaps some people who don't own pets assume it will be a problem, though? Not sure. it is possible to get a very nice and roomy kennel cage for a cat it's a particularly possible solution (and one recommended by a vet I used to work for). So that for brief periods the kitty can snooze. They are large enough for a nice blanket and water dish and even a small litter box. I used to use one now & then when cleaning and decorating the Christmas tree so the cats would not climb it when we brought it in. I used to have a dog and 3 cats..... Putting a cat in a cage that isn't normally used to a cage probably isn't going to work out well at home. Perhaps if you start that when they're young, it might work ok, though. actually it works quite well. I have had both kittens and adopted older cats. remember the pet accommodates to you (as long as you are a loving & reasonable home & basic needs are always met, that should not be a problem) - not the other way around. think of it like being a good mom. as much as we want to give our kids everything and never have to apply restrictions. sometimes we do for the benefit of all....and REWARDS (like extra time or kitty treats) for good behavior for meeting the restrictions. it's called training 
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Edited by
Leigh2154
on
Thu 12/13/12 08:28 AM
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Two real life ON TOPIC stories....
My daughter just celebrated her 44th birthday  ...Shortly after she was born, she was diaganosed with asthmatic bronchitis...Her symptoms were severe enough to land her in the hospital on more than one occasion...Pet dander is a trigger.....Parting with my pet was not easy, not parting with my pet would have been inhumane and in my opinion, a form of child abuse and neglect....
Nine years ago I moved from Ohio to Tennessee....While house hunting, I met a realtor who owned a magnificent male Rottweiler named Stoney...She also had a female named Roxy that she rescued from an abusive situation, nursed back to health at great time and expense, and was now trying to place with a loving family...When she told me about Roxy, I offered to meet her...We hit it off immediately so I adopted her!...Because Roxy's abuser was a man, she did not trust or tolerate most men...My live in boyfriend and dog lover supreme tried to no avail to win her trust...Roxy's aggression toward him was dangerous and it was also emotionally hurtful...Long story short, I found a suitable country home for her... Parting with my pets was not a forced decision, both were just necessary, responsible choices.... |
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I can get a minor allergic reaction to cats. More so if its sleeping in the same room with me, or if there is a lot hair present. I would never, ever, even think of asking someone to get rid of any pet period. I have asked for the cat be out of the room when Im staying over, that it would be appreciated. If not, "you" would have to come to my place, or yes, we aren't a match, and I wouldn't bother going any further. This has come up several times, while dating and choices were made to compromise. I have yet, to run across a lady unwilling to do so. I am not unreasonable and I do like pets. Cats, Dogs and other as well. I really don't understand an animal needing to be in the room, during intimacy... Would that mean, you take that animal with you 24/7? That it cannot be alone at various times? Really, what is the difference if the animal is out of the room for awhile at times. If it really becomes a huge problem, I suppose "they" will have their animal to comfort them...Im not going to lose any sleep over it... Do you mention up front that you're allergic to cats and you want them to sleep in the other room? This hasn't come up before for me when dating someone, but I would be unable to make my cat sleep in another room, as there's no door to close. I see that you don't understand the animal needing to be in the room during intimacy. Like I said, in my case, there isn't a door to close. Has it ever been a problem? No. Perhaps some people who don't own pets assume it will be a problem, though? Not sure. it is possible to get a very nice and roomy kennel cage for a cat it's a particularly possible solution (and one recommended by a vet I used to work for). So that for brief periods the kitty can snooze. They are large enough for a nice blanket and water dish and even a small litter box. I used to use one now & then when cleaning and decorating the Christmas tree so the cats would not climb it when we brought it in. I used to have a dog and 3 cats..... Putting a cat in a cage that isn't normally used to a cage probably isn't going to work out well at home. Perhaps if you start that when they're young, it might work ok, though. actually it works quite well. I have had both kittens and adopted older cats. remember the pet accommodates to you (as long as you are a loving & reasonable home & basic needs are always met, that should not be a problem) - not the other way around. think of it like being a good mom. as much as we want to give our kids everything and never have to apply restrictions. sometimes we do for the benefit of all....and REWARDS (like extra time or kitty treats) for good behavior for meeting the restrictions. it's called training
I'm happy to hear it has worked for you. However, forcing a cat, who doesn't stay in a cage to stay in a cage because you don't want it in a certain room is not going to work for everyone. If it's needed in your house, then you do what's best for you. |
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Two real life ON TOPIC stories.... My daughter just celebrated her 44th birthday ...Shortly after she was born, she was diaganosed with asthmatic bronchitis...Her symptoms were severe enough to land her in the hospital on more than one occasion...Pet dander is a trigger.....Parting with my pet was not easy, not parting with my pet would have been inhumane and in my opinion, a form of child abuse and neglect....
Nine years ago I moved from Ohio to Tennessee....While house hunting, I met a realtor who owned a magnificent male Rottweiler named Stoney...She also had a female named Roxy that she rescued from an abusive situation, nursed back to health at great time and expense, and was now trying to place with a loving family...When she told me about Roxy, I offered to meet her...We hit it off immediately so I adopted her!...Because Roxy's abuser was a man, she did not trust or tolerate most men...My live in boyfriend and dog lover supreme tried to no avail to win her trust...Roxy's aggression toward him was dangerous and it was also emotionally hurtful...Long story short, I found a suitable country home for her... Parting with my pets was not a forced decision, both were just necessary, responsible choices.... Neither are really on topic, as the topic was allergies in a significant other. In my mind, it would be more about someone you just started dating, as you'd find out about the allergy pretty quickly. However, as I said earlier in the thread, I can understand giving up a pet if a child is born and has an allergy. The second situation has nothing to do with the topic, as it has nothing to do with allergies. Though, if I were in that situation and knew that the abuser was a male, I would have suggested you test it out a bit before adopting her, since you lived with a man. That would have made a bit more sense than adopting her and bringing her into a situation that wasn't good for her. |
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Two real life ON TOPIC stories.... My daughter just celebrated her 44th birthday ...Shortly after she was born, she was diaganosed with asthmatic bronchitis...Her symptoms were severe enough to land her in the hospital on more than one occasion...Pet dander is a trigger.....Parting with my pet was not easy, not parting with my pet would have been inhumane and in my opinion, a form of child abuse and neglect....
Nine years ago I moved from Ohio to Tennessee....While house hunting, I met a realtor who owned a magnificent male Rottweiler named Stoney...She also had a female named Roxy that she rescued from an abusive situation, nursed back to health at great time and expense, and was now trying to place with a loving family...When she told me about Roxy, I offered to meet her...We hit it off immediately so I adopted her!...Because Roxy's abuser was a man, she did not trust or tolerate most men...My live in boyfriend and dog lover supreme tried to no avail to win her trust...Roxy's aggression toward him was dangerous and it was also emotionally hurtful...Long story short, I found a suitable country home for her... Parting with my pets was not a forced decision, both were just necessary, responsible choices.... Neither are really on topic, as the topic was allergies in a significant other. In my mind, it would be more about someone you just started dating, as you'd find out about the allergy pretty quickly. However, as I said earlier in the thread, I can understand giving up a pet if a child is born and has an allergy. The second situation has nothing to do with the topic, as it has nothing to do with allergies. Though, if I were in that situation and knew that the abuser was a male, I would have suggested you test it out a bit before adopting her, since you lived with a man. That would have made a bit more sense than adopting her and bringing her into a situation that wasn't good for her. Respectfully disagree, as both subjects were addressed by you and other posters on more than one occasion.....Surely you don't mind if I participate.... |
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I can get a minor allergic reaction to cats. More so if its sleeping in the same room with me, or if there is a lot hair present. I would never, ever, even think of asking someone to get rid of any pet period. I have asked for the cat be out of the room when Im staying over, that it would be appreciated. If not, "you" would have to come to my place, or yes, we aren't a match, and I wouldn't bother going any further. This has come up several times, while dating and choices were made to compromise. I have yet, to run across a lady unwilling to do so. I am not unreasonable and I do like pets. Cats, Dogs and other as well. I really don't understand an animal needing to be in the room, during intimacy... Would that mean, you take that animal with you 24/7? That it cannot be alone at various times? Really, what is the difference if the animal is out of the room for awhile at times. If it really becomes a huge problem, I suppose "they" will have their animal to comfort them...Im not going to lose any sleep over it... Do you mention up front that you're allergic to cats and you want them to sleep in the other room? This hasn't come up before for me when dating someone, but I would be unable to make my cat sleep in another room, as there's no door to close. I see that you don't understand the animal needing to be in the room during intimacy. Like I said, in my case, there isn't a door to close. Has it ever been a problem? No. Perhaps some people who don't own pets assume it will be a problem, though? Not sure. it is possible to get a very nice and roomy kennel cage for a cat it's a particularly possible solution (and one recommended by a vet I used to work for). So that for brief periods the kitty can snooze. They are large enough for a nice blanket and water dish and even a small litter box. I used to use one now & then when cleaning and decorating the Christmas tree so the cats would not climb it when we brought it in. I used to have a dog and 3 cats..... Putting a cat in a cage that isn't normally used to a cage probably isn't going to work out well at home. Perhaps if you start that when they're young, it might work ok, though. actually it works quite well. I have had both kittens and adopted older cats. remember the pet accommodates to you (as long as you are a loving & reasonable home & basic needs are always met, that should not be a problem) - not the other way around. think of it like being a good mom. as much as we want to give our kids everything and never have to apply restrictions. sometimes we do for the benefit of all....and REWARDS (like extra time or kitty treats) for good behavior for meeting the restrictions. it's called training
I'm happy to hear it has worked for you. However, forcing a cat, who doesn't stay in a cage to stay in a cage because you don't want it in a certain room is not going to work for everyone. If it's needed in your house, then you do what's best for you. of course it is your choice but it is recommmended by vets - and a great idea for someone who really is interested in a solution have a nice day 
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Would you give up a pet if your significant other is allergic to it? If you're allergic to animals, would you ask your significant other to give up their pet? plain and simply.. NO! I would never impose my practices on others nor would I expect theirs to be imposed on me.. I strongly believe this should be something discovered at the very onset to eliminate this type of decision later on.. mutual respect is very important! as others have mentioned in previous posts.. an animal is NOT disposable.. neither are people or our kids.. for many, they are an integral part of our lives once adopted into our families.. I've had horses, cats and dogs and currently just have one dog(however a healthy dog, to me, weighs at LEAST 70lbs).. I would not give her up at anothers insistence.. as someone else posted.. that would be akin to asking me to change the WHO of who I am.. which is not the right footing for a relationship to commence... as far as presence in the bedroom.. I have cat allergies which I, over time, have built up a semblance of tolerance for because my kids wanted them BUT.. I did NOT allow the cats in my room OR on my bed as that would have left me looking like I'd gone 3 rounds with a Boxing pro and not conducive to breathing without the use of pumps and pills.. which resolves any one ELSES allergy issues as far as sleeping is concerned.. the dog however DOES enjoy a short cuddle session when I first get into bed.. but as soon as the lights go OUT.. she takes to her OWN bed, which is on the floor in my room OR sleeps in the adjacent bathroom or hallway floor(where it's cooler).. so she does NOT sleep on the bed WITH me.. nor would I want anothers pet on the bed when asleep.. Kristi mentioned smoking.. I concur.. if someone wishes to smoke IN the house.. I would prefer they do so in front of the 'hut' fan or near an open window only because I'm not fond of painting frequently NOR do I enjoy the "stale air" blast akin to a dirty ashtray when I enter my home after any amount of time away.. meanwhile.. smoking in the bedroom is OFF LIMITS.. that's where I sleep and I prefer the air to smell as clean as possible.. and regardless of the HEPA Air filtration system I had installed in my home.. the smell of 'smoke' doesn't get eliminated from either the drapes or furniture.. with this current dog.. the 'sex' issue has never come up.. what can I say.. I've been good  but when I DO want some alone time (she can be a pain in the azz at times.. like a demanding kid that always wants to play) I've closed the door to my office, room OR let her out in the penned up back yard for a bit so I can get that much needed break! we ALL need some sort of boundaries in our lives.. regardless of the family member
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Would you give up a pet if your significant other is allergic to it? If you're allergic to animals, would you ask your significant other to give up their pet? plain and simply.. NO! I would never impose my practices on others nor would I expect theirs to be imposed on me.. I strongly believe this should be something discovered at the very onset to eliminate this type of decision later on.. mutual respect is very important! as others have mentioned in previous posts.. an animal is NOT disposable.. neither are people or our kids.. for many, they are an integral part of our lives once adopted into our families.. I've had horses, cats and dogs and currently just have one dog(however a healthy dog, to me, weighs at LEAST 70lbs).. I would not give her up at anothers insistence.. as someone else posted.. that would be akin to asking me to change the WHO of who I am.. which is not the right footing for a relationship to commence... as far as presence in the bedroom.. I have cat allergies which I, over time, have built up a semblance of tolerance for because my kids wanted them BUT.. I did NOT allow the cats in my room OR on my bed as that would have left me looking like I'd gone 3 rounds with a Boxing pro and not conducive to breathing without the use of pumps and pills.. which resolves any one ELSES allergy issues as far as sleeping is concerned.. the dog however DOES enjoy a short cuddle session when I first get into bed.. but as soon as the lights go OUT.. she takes to her OWN bed, which is on the floor in my room OR sleeps in the adjacent bathroom or hallway floor(where it's cooler).. so she does NOT sleep on the bed WITH me.. nor would I want anothers pet on the bed when asleep.. Kristi mentioned smoking.. I concur.. if someone wishes to smoke IN the house.. I would prefer they do so in front of the 'hut' fan or near an open window only because I'm not fond of painting frequently NOR do I enjoy the "stale air" blast akin to a dirty ashtray when I enter my home after any amount of time away.. meanwhile.. smoking in the bedroom is OFF LIMITS.. that's where I sleep and I prefer the air to smell as clean as possible.. and regardless of the HEPA Air filtration system I had installed in my home.. the smell of 'smoke' doesn't get eliminated from either the drapes or furniture.. with this current dog.. the 'sex' issue has never come up.. what can I say.. I've been good but when I DO want some alone time (she can be a pain in the azz at times.. like a demanding kid that always wants to play) I've closed the door to my office, room OR let her out in the penned up back yard for a bit so I can get that much needed break! we ALL need some sort of boundaries in our lives.. regardless of the family member
Nice post. Strong advocate for your animals, but yet able to compromise in some ways...which is all anyone should really ever ask. 
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singmesweet...I can imagine you saying the same thing to your significant other as they lay dying... but anyway in case you're not inform an allergic reation can cause some people to go into anaphylactic shock but as you stated...it doesn't matter, because they simply must tolerate your pet Please do tell me how I'd force someone to be around my pet if they were allergic? Clearly, this is something that would be found out in the beginning. The person who is allergic would simply move onto someone who does not have a pet. Common sense, man. Use it. |
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Nice post. Strong advocate for your animals, but yet able to compromise in some ways...which is all anyone should really ever ask.
why thank you kindly sir.. glad you approve..  however.. if I read correctly.. yours said something vaguely SIMIlar
 sorry.. the rest of the bouquet died in transport from a cold
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Edited by
Leigh2154
on
Thu 12/13/12 12:33 PM
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Please do tell me how I'd force someone to be around my pet if they were allergic? Clearly, this is something that would be found out in the beginning. The person who is allergic would simply move onto someone who does not have a pet. Common sense, man. Use it. Not necessarily...Allergies can develop anytime.... An allergic reaction occurs when your immune system mistakenly believes substances that are harmless to most people to be harmful to your body and responds by producing immunoglobin E (IgE) antibodies to destroy what your body has perceived as foreign invaders (allergens). These IgE antibodies trigger the release of histamines, leukotrienes, and other chemicals to cause allergy symptoms. You do develop allergies from repeated exposure to the allergen. Therefore, anyone can develop or grow out of allergy symptoms at any time. Your age also has something to do with developing allergies. Since repeated exposure to certain allergens can trigger an allergic reaction, it is possible to develop allergies when you're older, as you've had more time to be in contact with the allergens. It is possible that you suddenly develop an allergy to cats. http://www.zocdoc.com/answers/9409/can-you-suddenly-develop-an-allergy-to-cats
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