so I have to first say that I LOVE this site...its very addicting and I find myself stopping in a few times a day just to see whats new...

now onto my story....I met someone. He seemed like the perfect guy, sweet, shy to a point and very caring...we talked for a few days and then he asked if I would call him...I thought what the heck....so I did. We had a great talk....he was even better than online...we shared a few texts and then the next day I get a strange phone call...a girl. "Hi who is this?" and I answer with my name...and then she proceeds to tell me that I have been talking to her boyfriend of 4 years. I want to vomit. I just dont understand...dating site should equal being single right?? not so much in my case...so shes crying by now and asking me all these questions about why hes doing this to her and how long we have been talking and what we talk about...and I have to tell her that we met on a dating site and that HE approached me...

now all this comes after a long time relationship with a man who told me he was divorced and in reality was still married...I have no faith in the opposite sex and am beginning to wonder if I call the the taken ones...just wondering if anyone else has any input...or similar horror stories...or even something to restore my faith in finding a guy who is actually right for ME and not his girlfriend or wife

i wish i had some one

Sorry for both you and his girlfriend. You both can do better. Some men are jerks like the one you described, but not everyone. It a matter of knowning how to weed!

you have to keep your head up or you will only see the ones that slither. good luck

Oh Nikki how sad, I haven't had that happen yet, hope it never does. But i do know that there are alot of married men on here. so my advice is, if they wear sunglasses in their picture, pass them up...won't tell you anything about themselves..pass, avoid any mention of family...pass and lastly ask each person out right if they are in a relationship, only sparated or are married...if they don't answer...pass

The internet is full of opportunists and idiots, and some who are a little (a lot) of both.

Anonymity allows for deception, and the self-absorbed and heartless are always ready to pounce on the innocent and unsuspecting.

And so many of us have been so willing to trust too quickly, too easily. The yearning for the "right one" will often make us easy pickings for the "wrong one."

And so one must -- always -- protect oneself.

A difficult lesson to learn; and one that, all too often, pushes the learner the other way, to a place where there is NO trust, NO faith, NO belief in anyone anymore.

And that place is no fun, either.

So, then, there must be a balance -- a balance between openness and defensiveness, between hope and the cold grim gaze of reality.

And we will get burned. I can guarantee it.

I could tell you horror stories, but they would serve only to reinforce the negative, the disastrous, the every-time-it's-another-train-wreck philosophy that -- in the end -- plays such a huge role in keeping us all apart....

I have learned to be cautious, but open -- and this is almost, but not quite, a contradiction in terms; because I need to leave room for that one person to slip through....

Ouch.

im in this other dating site, and this guy seem to had been nice and all, in his profile it states he was separated, so i ask him if he was going through a divorce. he proceeds on emailing me but totally avoids my question about his separation if he was going to divorce or not... he sure wasent in my field

i was dating a young lady several yrs ago. the day i found out she was married, her hubbie found out she was cheating

have you ever met a guy anywhere else that said they were single and not

do not judge all by the actions of a few

if you had very good chocolate then got a bead piece of chocolate would you never eat chocolate again

or substitute something else for eat chocolate

i think you get the idea

be well move on

and remember anytime you let what someone has done to you have major bearing on how you react with an unrelated person that person that did it has a control of a part of you

just a thought

but hey what do i know

anonymity allows for deception, true Lex but don't you think for the average person it allows us more freedom to be ourself?

awsome post lex.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well put adj!

yeah Lex, your wisdom continues to amaze me, and how well you write...Hows the book?

Hot -- I would question the need for anonymity if we are truly being ourselves. To me, "ourselves" should indicate the "natural" (i.e., honest or truthful) state, as opposed to the person who deceives in order to get something from someone else under false pretenses.

As a matter of semantic nitpickiness, I would rather say that it may give us more freedom to EXPRESS ourselves (in terms of depth of thought, creativity, etc. -- say a person has written a poem but is too afraid of negative feedback to post it under his/her real name) but those are not things that are necessarily enhanced or promoted BY anonymity, in the way that dishonesty and deception ARE or CAN BE.

In other words, if I want to be who I am here, I really would prefer to have as little anonymity, per se, as possible. The more anonymous I really am, the less anyone can get to know me.

Now, anonymity WORKS if you're trying to hide something....if not, then it's just a condition inherent to the internet as a whole, and you can work within it or ignore it, or whatever works for you best.

Seahawk -- Thanks, bro!

Hot -- I am in the process of arranging the short stories for the second one now. Yesterday I did a couple chapters for the third one (which is the sequel to the first one). It gets messy sometimes trying to keep all the plotlines straight....!!

there are both men and women who come on this and other dating sites. even though they are already in a relationship they will deny it. the only thing they want is another man or woman to help them out because thy have the feeling the one they have is just not enough.

I will never understand why someone can't be happy with who they are with, if you are not, then just say so. Don't cheat, don't hurt your family, don't decieve someone else. What do you think you will get out of it? Happiness?, Satisfaction? A feeling of superiority? Guess what, you will only fool yourself and hurt someone that may truly love you.