Wow... I wish men disappeared in my life like that. Is this a talent I can learn?
Think of it this way..they did you a favor then.

I think thats more of a perception,,,,


one may feel ignored, someone else may just feel like its time to move on,,,

Ignoring someone as a way of breaking up is still ignoring them, whether or not the person feels it's time to move on. You can word it anyway you want, but it's still ignoring the person. And while you may feel it's justified, it's still immature.

while you may feel its immature, I do feel its justified

as I said, different perceptions

I dont believe everything needs to be verbalized, some things can be understood,, without the affect and words,,,

but to each their own

Everything? No. But, if I'm dating someone and it's not working out, I would at least let them know. I'd expect the same thing in return. Does that mean I'll get that? Of course not. But, I'd expect it more from younger guys, as I would hope they've learned and grown up enough by the time they're my age. Unfortunately, that's not always the case.

Not true when they come back out of nowhere. Better say you're not interested than play cop out games like that. Can we end making excuses for their douchey behavior?

Well a lot men think they can get another woman to trust them if the same tactic worked the first time, why not try it again? A lot of them won't say what's really going on because they wanna keep their options open if whore #2 doesn't work out ie. she wants something more too soon, she's too overprotective, she snores in her sleep, she's too nice in the sac, she talks too much, she wants to know about his scumbag life, she's smart, she likes control over her life...and so on....men are truly scared of really meeting the right woman because they care so much about being an alpha male.

Running away/disappearing...

I can see why a lot of women these days have become so bitter/jaded and numbed to relationships. It's because of cowards like that, pulling the 'disappearing act.' Have some decency and at least let the other person know you're no longer interested.

If they don't give a rat's @ss, I say have respect for yourself and move on.

understood, we all have different expectations

I dont have the same expectations in a 'dating' situation as I do in a relationship/commitment

I dont feel owed anything, except respect, from someone merely hanging out with me on occasion

someone with whom LOVE Has become a part of the equation, I expect more from,,,

There would be no respect if they just disappeared, though. What I'm talking about is respect.

However, in my opinion, "hanging out" is different than "dating."

thats why its so subjective

dating itself is a subjective term that means different things to different people

I personally consider 'dating' a no strings, no obligations, way to pass time with people while figuring out if they are someone you want to move forward with

a 'trial' period if you will,,,


I dont consider 'dating' the same as having a formal relationship of any sort,,,

So, if you make plans to hang out/go on a date and decide that you don't want to anymore, you don't feel any obligation to let them know? Because you felt it meant nothing since it hadn't moved onto something formal?

them not hearing from me IS letting them know

there was no promise made or implied by us going on a 'date'

if we both enjoyed the 'date' thats where the obligation ends,,,


if we didnt, we are free to not 'date' again

of course, it depends upon the person too, there is no absolute


depending upon the vibe I got from that person as far as their coping and communication skills, I may feel comfortable having a mature conversation with them about their intentions/expectations and mine and letting us gradually come to a mutual conclusion that we were better off remaining friends

few people, in my experience, have the maturity to do so though, so the hints work better for me,,,,

What she said! except for that last sentence.

People constantly treat others the exact opposite of the way they'd like to be treated... Wanting "Instant satisfaction" is the new norm. They go for it... without thinking of the emotional repercussions to others.

These days, I get instant satisfaction from cutting my grass

It happens way too often. I personally think letting a person know its not working is much better than dissapearing! The other person deserves to know what happened as he/she might not repeat what ever it was that turned that person off.
I actually have enough guts to say what I feel...some people are just so all about themselves, they don't care about what the other person feels...I think its very childish and cowardly.

Scenario #1:

"I can't imagine my life without you...you're my everything."

Scenario #2:

"You have a small wiener, six toes, you smell and you want too much space AND I phucked your best bro. Its over."

Most chicks won't say #2 because chitty truth ultimately hurts, guys deal with rejection the worst. They even write out apology letters in regret when its clear its been over (even if she cheated on him) for quite a while. Even when they learned she met someone else. I learn to care less and less about the others feelings when my happiness is at stake here. Confessing hurts less over time.

Hints don't work well for most people, from what I've seen, myself included. Being honest and upfront works so much better. But hey, if you're ok with the person dating you ignoring you, go for it :).

yeah, Im great with it if we arent in any real relationship,,,,actions are worth more than words with me,,,

Yeah guys disappear on me all the time but that is usually because I scare them away.

Wow. I find myself agreeing with singme on this one. Finding your view the more compassionate caring view. Leaving people hanging is cowardly and inconsiderate.

But I can usually figure this out during the relationship now. So there would be no I surprise. I would have ended it myself. And told her.