Community > General Discussion

Topic: Kids
blueeyes2000 Joined Thu 11/08/07 Posts: 1517	Mon 09/03/12 12:41 PM
A parent with a child who they didn't put first, would turn me away.

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Mon 09/03/12 12:53 PM
A parent with a child who they didn't put first, would turn me away. funny, I know we have had this conversation on here before. But I guess it would be a matter of what he meant by putting them first. If he cancelled dates frequently, scheduled me "around" the kids' events, and did not really have time for me, that would be a signal that he was not ready for a relationship.

manOfewwords Joined Wed 10/22/08 Posts: 29908	Mon 09/03/12 01:01 PM
Does having a kid turn you away? no.....if they are full grown that is

josie68 Joined Mon 11/22/10 Posts: 6270	Mon 09/03/12 04:41 PM
A parent with a child who they didn't put first, would turn me away. funny, I know we have had this conversation on here before. But I guess it would be a matter of what he meant by putting them first. If he cancelled dates frequently, scheduled me "around" the kids' events, and did not really have time for me, that would be a signal that he was not ready for a relationship. But why, if his children had things come up , why would it upset you, Couldnt you just change your plans and go as well. It is so important for a child to know that their parents are their. Ultimately you have to work together, but when it comes down to it, the child needs to come first. After all the child had no say in being born, they are their parents respnsibility so they should be first.

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Mon 09/03/12 05:05 PM
A parent with a child who they didn't put first, would turn me away. funny, I know we have had this conversation on here before. But I guess it would be a matter of what he meant by putting them first. If he cancelled dates frequently, scheduled me "around" the kids' events, and did not really have time for me, that would be a signal that he was not ready for a relationship. But why, if his children had things come up , why would it upset you, Couldnt you just change your plans and go as well. It is so important for a child to know that their parents are their. Ultimately you have to work together, but when it comes down to it, the child needs to come first. After all the child had no say in being born, they are their parents respnsibility so they should be first. it would depend on what came up. if it was an emergency yes, but i had a man cancel our first meet once because at the last minute his 19 yo daughter decided she wanted to visit from out of town. I was mortified - what a horrible first impression - needless to say I never met him. no one is talking about neglecting anyone. I think it is a given that the child's needs are met. my children were very much loved and quite well cared for and still are. I think it is best to prioritize my plans unless there's an emergency of some kind...and I would expect the same in return. Why date someone if there are going to be ongoing issues? as with any other issue, I prefer someone who thinks I do on the matter. also, understand that my children are grown Josie, so my situation is somewhat different

josie68 Joined Mon 11/22/10 Posts: 6270	Mon 09/03/12 05:29 PM
A parent with a child who they didn't put first, would turn me away. funny, I know we have had this conversation on here before. But I guess it would be a matter of what he meant by putting them first. If he cancelled dates frequently, scheduled me "around" the kids' events, and did not really have time for me, that would be a signal that he was not ready for a relationship. But why, if his children had things come up , why would it upset you, Couldnt you just change your plans and go as well. It is so important for a child to know that their parents are their. Ultimately you have to work together, but when it comes down to it, the child needs to come first. After all the child had no say in being born, they are their parents respnsibility so they should be first. it would depend on what came up. if it was an emergency yes, but i had a man cancel our first meet once because at the last minute his 19 yo daughter decided she wanted to visit from out of town. I was mortified - what a horrible first impression - needless to say I never met him. no one is talking about neglecting anyone. I think it is a given that the child's needs are met. my children were very much loved and quite well cared for and still are. I think it is best to prioritize my plans unless there's an emergency of some kind...and I would expect the same in return. Why date someone if there are going to be ongoing issues? as with any other issue, I prefer someone who thinks I do on the matter. also, understand that my children are grown Josie, so my situation is somewhat different Probably why I have so much trouble. I tend to run everything around my munchkins, so it can make it difficult. I guess I am a little like a mother bear and would quickly attack anyone who tried to get me to put anything else before my children.. Yep it is almost impossible to make a relationship work when your time is always revolving around others.

Hikerjohn Joined Sun 08/19/12 Posts: 1028	Mon 09/03/12 05:41 PM
I agree. I didn't date for the last 3 years because my kids were young and they needed a stable parent available to them. That's a choice I made because if I was going to offer myself up for a relationship, then I would want to devote time to it. I couldn't so I didnt date. But that's just me.

Kaleijoscope Joined Fri 10/15/10 Posts: 3319	Mon 09/03/12 07:08 PM
While i was raising my 3 kids i totally focused on them,my job and my faith..everything else can come in only if im positive that i have time..its been a complete experience...now that i have the time and can date again, i understand if a guy had to cancel and we usually talk it out and see if we can make the best of situation,.compromise works best,just sharing my thoughts..

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Mon 09/03/12 07:10 PM
I agree. I didn't date for the last 3 years because my kids were young and they needed a stable parent available to them. That's a choice I made because if I was going to offer myself up for a relationship, then I would want to devote time to it. I couldn't so I didnt date. But that's just me. hugs hikerjohn I haven't dated a lot either - even though my kids are grown I still spend time with them - I just mean if I have made plans with someone, I woud keep those plans barring an emergency. I don't think we do the best thing for children when we allow them to run our lives...ahhh...but that's just me. I have good relationships with my sons. I think they just want to see me happy. and I think it is a different situation when children are young (rather than older teens or adults themselves)

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Mon 09/03/12 07:12 PM
I would prefer a woman with children any age. #1 She would know what I went through if they were grown. #2 I would know what she was going through if they were young. But that's me.

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Mon 09/03/12 07:21 PM
While i was raising my 3 kids i totally focused on them,my job and my faith..everything else can come in only if im positive that i have time..its been a complete experience...now that i have the time and can date again, i understand if a guy had to cancel and we usually talk it out and see if we can make the best of situation,.compromise works best,just sharing my thoughts.. completely agree with everything you've said. I can understand if someone HAS to cancel, but less so if they choose to cancel. what I meant was if it became a persistent problem (always cancelling & rescheduling)- to ME it would seem he was not ready.... it's all just a matter of personal preference and to what degree it may or may not bother you - each situation is unique people can be quite tolerant but still have varying degrees to which something like cancelling a date will be an issue for them

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Mon 09/03/12 08:55 PM
Does having a kid turn you away? I would consider dating a single parent as long as they actually had time to date.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Mon 09/03/12 10:00 PM Edited by navygirl on Mon 09/03/12 10:05 PM
If the kid is an adult no, it wouldn't turn me away but if they are under 18; yes it would turn me away. Dated guys with kids and they never had time for me.

wux Joined Wed 07/29/09 Posts: 7426	Tue 09/04/12 02:31 AM
Does having a kid turn you away? I don't have a kid. But if I did have a kid, I don't think it would turn me away.

wux Joined Wed 07/29/09 Posts: 7426	Tue 09/04/12 02:34 AM
A parent with a child who they didn't put first, would turn me away. funny, I know we have had this conversation on here before. But I guess it would be a matter of what he meant by putting them first. If he cancelled dates frequently, scheduled me "around" the kids' events, and did not really have time for me, that would be a signal that he was not ready for a relationship. I understood this post totally differently. I took it that a man must put his kid in his place first, before he gets around to putting his girlfriend in place. Like a daddy of a young child must put the kid in bed first, and only when the kid has been successfully placed there must the man put the woman in his bed.

Deaddude325 Joined Wed 08/29/12 Posts: 15	Wed 09/05/12 01:19 AM
LOL, I'm still busy constructing my own life! I as of now still seek to destroy any problems with in my own life, so that a stable foundation can flourish and the next generation does not have to suffer from any current problems. So the idea of creating a new life to build and work upon when I haven't even finished my current one (Me) is completely illogical. come back in 15 to 25 years of so as an estimate. That being said, I'm still open to people who think they might make a suitable partner. The person who is truly a compatible match, Who can understand me and my own personality as well have it were each others own personality and interest makes each other have a fiery reaction to the person inside. There both I and the Other Person can only make our combined strengths stronger.

kc0003 Joined Fri 05/11/07 Posts: 26382	Thu 09/06/12 07:58 PM
nope. not at all.