Just been thinking back to a previous relationship I had where, I was always been dragged into doing things with the... "FRIENDS OF MY EX". She had lots and lots of friends, she even had a long list of names programed into her cell phone so, we were always obligated to spend time with these people, we were obligated to have dinners with them, having drinks with them, going to events with them, invite them into my home on holidays. Now as far I'm concerned this is a total waste of time I would never ever ever in anything that resembles in a relationship again... I am simply going to reject spending time with her friends cause you know why?, they never (and guys always remember this!) these women were never your friends especially her male friends, they're more of your enemy's, and that includes the gay male friends cause the gay friends think like the females, they are picking you apart, telling your girl why your with the wrong person, how much better things they were until you came along. And much more you'll find is when the relationship ends, 99times out of a 100 all these people who been knocking on your door, all these people coming over, all these people who were calling you at all hours day and night, all these people who you bought gifts on Christmas or Birthdays whatever, that all quickly will be forgotten when you break up and these people will never call you again or be curious how your doing. And boys if you have been deciding in ending in your relationship let me tell you this!...if your the deciding factor ending the relationship they will not only talk to you in a good way again, yet they will trash YOU! and they will spend their time trashing you.

The last relationship that I had of any note, my ex started to confront people on my own block! neighbors I had, she started confronting neighbors, neighbors after she was gone had nothing to do with me anymore, these are my neighbors! they're not your neighbors she doesn't live with me anymore, after the minute she was gone these people have nothing to do with me anymore. Now I'm not looking to date these people or looking for help or come over for a cup of sugar or anything. Now these are the people who come over to talk to me so that way they can talk to her. I know for a fact she still talks to them cause she told me, but they have no need to talk to me. I'm not hurt but the only thing that bothers me is spending time with these people who I don't have any common with, drinking my alcohol and wine, using up my time, taking her attention, coming over and bringing their friends to my house, bringing their dogs and one of them took a dump right inside my front door thanks a lot... I just constantly tolerated the presents of these people and the only reason I tolerated these people cause they were her friends, I was obligated to sit there and make chit chat with these people that I have nothing in common with nothing to say to you in the first place.

And once I told my ex that this relationship is OVER! GET OUT! well that pretty much simplify the matter for everybody. All these people who used to call my house all day long they don't call here anymore,... holiday cards, not a one, not from any of these people. These are the people who came over for Christmas, Thanksgiving they were there at all hours day and night coming by knocking at my door their I am making small talk with these people that were never part of my life before and I think to my self how much time am I wasting here.

By the next time if I have a relationship with a women and says to me: "oh me and my girlfriends are going out, you want to come with us" I'm gonna say: "No"..."No" cause these are the people your gonna say what a piece of crap! I was, we should never been together, and that I interrupted your quality time together.

I can never win in this situation so my goal is to never meet the friends I don't want to socialize with your friends, keep your friends out of my house for the holidays I don't want your friends coming over on Bar-B-Qs. If their your friends you go to starbucks with them, you go to restaurants with them, you go to Nordstoms with them or whatever you have to do with them, don't bring them into my house!.

Do you think about this? there you are chit chatting with her friends and you get up and leave the room for a couple of minutes and your girlfriend talks about you like how bad you are in bed or you leave skid marks on the bed sheets and later you come back and everybody turns around and looks at you and shuts up and there you are walking in not even thinking about it. These friends hate you, they don't like having you around but they don't want to loose you so they can have accesses to your girl so they have to tolerated you.

So my new rule is I don't want to meet your friends.

Am I being far off here?

Tell us how you really feel. Don't hold back now.

OMG...I didn't read that. It was awfully long. But based on your title...

yea, it sucks when you break up because all the friends get divided up again.

Bleh.

sorry i made this story long but it's just want to make a point if I'm a little far off.

i don't think that you are far off but a lot of girls want you to be at least friendly with their friends.

I'd like to be friendly with her friends...

But you know relationships doesn't last and their friends will always say: " You see, I told you he was a jerk, I told you to leave him blah,blah,blah"...

I cant take my focus factor this late at night, so u lost me at friends of a friend or something.. Girlfriends friends.. I think any extreme could have a great possibility of disaster. I dont believe one will find someone that will let them only focus on what they believe to be the best for them.. They will want a compromise at some point on a "get together". That is what life is about human connection. Extremes tend to work peoples nerves at some point. There seems there is could be a need for a happy medium..

good luck ...

wow@at the detailed poop and skid marks.. TMI...

grrrrrrr@proof reading after sending..

-is

Yes it does suck.I lost some so called friends after my divorce.But I guess then they were not really my friends.You asked her to leave,if she continued to talk about you to friends and neighbors,she and they are not worth it.But I don't think you should feel that way.Were not all like that.I have more male friends then women.They'll be honest and tell me just like it is.Just be you.

i feel that you should be cool with her friends. I had the same problem my ex happend to be with her pals and when i came they would not leave. so i broke up with her,but the next time i will tell a woman beforehand that if her friends going to butt in with our relationship then we should end this. i feel that we are equal but im the womans man so she should care a tad bit about me more than her friends. BUT why not try to know her friends

but if she has to talk bad about you she dont respect you. but i wont go into that.

You are right about that her friends are not your friends which is the way it should be. They are there to protect her - they do not have any obligation to be there for you when the relationship ends. This also applies vice versa with your friends.


With that being said, you would be fool not to meet her friends. Her friends are an extension of her. Get over it. It happens to all of us regardless if we are male or female.

I agree with you alexiateigra thank you

I had a similiar problem with all the friends had. They weren't mine friends. I didn't feel that we had anything in common. They socialized; I was just antisocial. They communicated; I didn't. I am glad I have my 12 step meetings.

You don't want to agree w/ me. My head my get too big!

Good Luck........Remember life isn't a popularity contest.......It's all about me - Just kidding!!!!!

geemaneecrickets!!! I got FAMILY that acts like that. Its the FRIENDS i can pick...family i cant!!!

WOW BigRob
Not ALL women are like this

Definitely something for you to be aware of in the future

See it doesn't bother me about her friends, cuz I don't give a rats ass what people think about me

Friends are good sounding boards but you can't let them run your relationships .I do think though relationships go a lot smoother if you at least get along with the friends and if you do breakup,do it in private and keep the details and commentary to yourself until the dust settles.