It may be a sheltered life, but I have found women here in the UK do not make the first move, outside of dating websites, reading how they do elsewhere is giving me a complex. However, I am not convinced that a high proportion of women do ask men for a date, outside of dating websites. I believe most of them see it as something women just don't do, and as something they do not want to do. There is a difference in using the anonymity of a website, and actually asking someone you know face to face for a date. I always make the first move, most of the first moves comes from men in my opinion.

If in interested in him I just simply invite him out for a cup of coffee of lunch. If he declines . . .his loss. :)

Well imho if I message a guy and he says not interested...its ok...its the internet. Make the first move if someone catches your eye... .I will.

Sooooooo does anyone actually post in these forums?? I'm just back from a place that has regs....is there a rule I don't know about.? Cause I don't do well with rules.

You know I feel damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I don't make the move; then I don't get asked out. If I make the first move; the guy gets intimidated as he thinks he should make the first move so he still won't go out with me. What the heck do you men want?

Navygirl. Yep, depends on the man. Some like boldness, some dont. It is a jungle out there with no rules or etiquette anymore. :-P

I usually wait for the man to make the first move. It's not easy to have the confidence to make the first move when you get turned down time after time. I've been in an abusive marriage, and it was very hard to learn how to become myself again. In a way, I guess I'm still learning how to have that confidence. I don't know if I ever will. I feel like I keep repeating the same mistakes with men. I also don't have the confidence to make the first move, or sometimes to show interest. Even the few men I've dated since my divorce, well, they probably weren't healthy relationships either. I meet men, or talk to men that I could have an interest in, but then I shy away, because I think that there's no way they would be interested. It's been hard to change that.

I really appreciate your honesty blueeyes. I love that about you

Thank you

You know I feel damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I don't make the move; then I don't get asked out. If I make the first move; the guy gets intimidated as he thinks he should make the first move so he still won't go out with me. What the heck do you men want?


Think the trick to this is making both people feel it is a mutual idea.

It is quite refreshing to find a self-confident woman who will make the first move.

There are too may terms on here that I ain't cluing in on....

"Rejection", "fear", "Shot down"......

I got nothing for ya.

What are you talking about?

Na man,I never fear rejection thats why Im here

Im growing a beard,chicks love beards-whoooops!! i already have one by my pic!!

Here's the thing. Guys will pretty much always say "yes" if they think they might get laid. They may not be that interested in a real relationship with you, but they are not gonna say that. They'll say yes, and just go with it until something that really knocks their socks off comes along. So, by waiting for the guy to make the first move, we have a better chance of going out with someone who is actually interested in a relationship. Granted, this is not a 100% guarantee, but it definitely helps the odds.

Eh, a date is supposed to be fun. It's a way of getting to know each other. I'm not expecting something serious right off the bat, so if a guy ends up not being interested, that's fine. I've said yes to dates and then found out I wasn't interested. It wasn't the end of the world.

If you're waiting around for him to make a move and he's waiting around for you to make a move, you may miss out.

I know what you are saying, but that's not what I'm talking about. Anyway, my opinions are based on my experience and are not going to work for everyone.



I don't think so. If something is meant to happen with someone, it just will.

I'm in the habit of getting into a nice simple chat and dropping hints as we get along. And many times if she's interested, we'd surely get to a point at which the little seeminky bland words will click. For anyone who has had some hard past experiences, it isn't so easy to use the direct approach on fancying a lady!
But if i catch whiff of Come on hints, i'd also respond with my own subtle 'interested' responses :-) Maybe a nice personal compliment, slow smile Plus eye contact etc :-)
But on d whole, i'd think our individual abilities in the use of words and ability to catch hidden msgs matter a lot. Not many ladies are able to make the first move and whenever a lady makes it, my first response is that of respect for her. Yes! She deserves it :-) and even if it wouldn't work out, making her feel good about taking that step is something i think a gentleman ought to do :-)
On the whole, a lady approaching me directly or dropping subtle hints will surely have my respect :-) and even if we don't end up as lovers, she'd certainly have won a friend :-)

What I want to know is how you got your text green?