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| Topic: Finding the 'right one' | |
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Edited by
markc48
on
Sun 08/19/12 11:43 AM
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Do I dare say anything.
Sorry I got to go . I have a date |
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I've come across women who have different issues. One simply needed a man in her life. She simply couldn't be single cause her mental state just wouldn't allow it. She had a need to be with someone....well anyone really. And she'd fool herself into thinking more was there. Thank goodness I saw the signs early. Lol. But, it's sad to say that there are those men and women who have suffered a nasty divorce, or split, or maybe they have escaped abuse. Whatever the reason, it is there and it is valid. You can't make someone want to date if they feel like there is no reason for it. Or maybe they just want to protect themselves. Yes, you have to have a little faith in dating. But you also have to want to take that chance. Oh, and great post Navy. Goof is so smart. Yea a nice guy in the good way that I figured had been scooped up when I didn't see him for a while.  Hi Goof ! Maybe that is part of it just saying who are the nice people because they do seem to become kind of invisable and that is not fair.
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Finding....requires seeking.....
I believe if we are seeking.....we get tunnel vision and we miss what might be right there in front of us. I think if we stop seeking and let Nature, God or the Universe(what ever you believe in) have its way........ Then the "Right" one just might find ....US!!!! JMO |
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The reason I was curious, was because of a conversation I had with a co-worker. He said he had been single for awhile, and had pretty much given up trying to find someone. He said that none of his relationships lasted that long(for different reasons), and that he knew he was going to end up alone, so why keep looking? It was only hurting him. It kind of made me think that was sad, and wondered if other people felt that way, and what would happen to make people give up? I think some people hit this point and decide to give up. For some, they do stay single (and for various reasons). Others, they hit this point and then one day they either decide to try again or they meet someone in an unexpected way. All I know is that sometimes meeting a person who is a great fit for you isn't as easy as it should be. You are right that we give up for various reasons and its hard to pinpoint any one reason. I can only speak for myself; but I am pretty set in my ways. I have met many divorced men who are not only very bitter with women but who have been financially ruined because of divorce so they are just looking for sex and not a committed relationship. Then I have met the "mid life crisis" types who have the maturity of a teenager. So, they think to feel younger they need to date someone younger. I can't compete with a younger woman nor would I try. The men I dated have done nothing but attack my self esteem because of my looks and age; so why would I purposely subject myself to that kind of abuse? Yes; I know not everyone is like that but the odds are not in my favour. I have to be realistic and accept what I simply can't change. All of this is so true. Both men and women in our age groups have experiences that teach us what would work or not work for us. The truth is, by our age, the pool of available people is largely, but not entirely, made up of undatables. Most of 'the marrying kind' is married. Slim pickins are left, so we have to weed our way through. ....when I say, 'undatable', I mean 'undatable to someone seeking a relationship'. Yep, I concur with what you say about undatable and the slim pickings. 
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Finding....requires seeking..... I believe if we are seeking.....we get tunnel vision and we miss what might be right there in front of us. I think if we stop seeking and let Nature, God or the Universe(what ever you believe in) have its way........ Then the "Right" one just might find ....US!!!! JMO I think you are onto something with that.....  Good one Ghosty!
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After reading some comments by some people, I've gotten curious about something. After so long, and so many dates/relationships, I see so many people that say they want something real or that they are looking for the one who's right for them. Is there a point, where some people give up? Where you think it's not going to happen? I would not date without serious intentions on my part, although in the end it may come to nothing, so I don't think I have given up yet. Always the optimist. |
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it is this finding the right one that is causing so many divorce and breakups.. I believe all one needs to look out for is one you can communicate with, one with a good heart, and you will learn to love that person.
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I'm not usually the type to give up on anything at all, but I've decided not to look for love ever again. Why? There is much more to life than just relationships and sex. Maybe I just went through a few physical trauma's that made me realise that life is too short to sweat the small stuff. I will die one day, so it doesn't honestly matter whether I end up in a relationship. At the end of the day, I'm just in the present, being alive. Not being in a relationship is hardly a threat to my survival in any way at all.
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I'm not usually the type to give up on anything at all, but I've decided not to look for love ever again. Why? There is much more to life than just relationships and sex. Maybe I just went through a few physical trauma's that made me realise that life is too short to sweat the small stuff. I will die one day, so it doesn't honestly matter whether I end up in a relationship. At the end of the day, I'm just in the present, being alive. Not being in a relationship is hardly a threat to my survival in any way at all. I agree it's not a life or death need, I am just looking at the companionship point of view. |
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The body and mind are jigsaw puzzles. Some pieces fit sexually with others, but leave emotional or other spaces open. As we age, the combination suitable for a happy and complete marriage seems much harder to find ... for some. But various other parts can be fulfilled in different ways by different people. Some need drinking buddies, friends with benefits, or simply companionship ... but have reached the point in life where marriage is not sought.
I don't think in terms of marriage any more because it doesn't seem like the right fit for me. However, I have many friends that fill the nooks and crannies of my heart and mind. The trouble with Mingle is that some of those friends are too far to touch as often as I would like. Some I will never meet. Give up? ... Give up on what? |
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