I think you know what's up. You may be afraid to admit it though. I would say pay attention to these things, and listen to your gut.

Perhaps this is off topic. I just wanted to say, I had a bad childhood as well. I thought I would be the worst parent ever. I ended up raising two children on my own. They are happy and very successful, it took a lot, a whole lot - but I'm really glad for them. They make me proud every day. And, now I know what I'm capable of...good luck!

This relationship has DISASTER written all over it.

If you saw the behaviors that you discribe being pulled on a woman you would think the guy was a cruel, spoiled, manipulative, irresponsible bully.

I can understand the desire to have someone to have a sense of family. My sympathies, But this sounds like a toxic relationship that you need to extract yourself from IMMEDIATELY before you find yourself up to your eyeballs in misery worse than the flirtation you are tasteing now.

Especially is when it becomes intimate and or you find yourself pregnant with someone who is from all sounds of it a poor candidate for parenthood herself. Something that usually happens with in 6 months time with people your age.

Someone who resolves things with name calling (even if only implied), avoidance, pouting, and partying is a very bad selection as a partner/co-parent. If you are partying the likelyhood of unprotected sex is very high. If you fear being a bad parent you should be terrified about being a second class parent. Which you will be when you have virtually no RIGHTS that you do not have to fight every inch of the way to get but all the responsibilities. Without EXPENSIVE paternity tests you are no more than a room mate which if you are living together before marriage that is what a judge is going to call it.

While the suggestion that you should seek a therapist for long standing family issues is a good one but to say it is "your" problem belies what relationships, parnerships, marriages, and co-parenting is about.

So might want to set in on a few sessions of domestic

Here is something to consider.
What if Chazster's girlfriend decides not to use birth control because she wants to bear children?

Then if he does not want to be the baby daddy he should stay away from that.

If he never wants children he knows what he can do.... snip snip, get a vasectomy.

The word 'unsupportive' says it all. Either she faces herself or I would say goodbye to her. You are in a relationship with a spoiled brat and unless she 'owns' her behaviour there is no hope whatsoever. Do you want to be miserable forever?

Bummer,
If you are happy to be controlled for the rest of your life, by someone who will run off and have a sook, everytime things are not going their way, then great it will probably work.

If you want a relationship where you can love and grow together and share your lives, then you probably won't find it with this woman.

if my children had of acted like that at a young age I would have smacked their behinds and told them to stop ridiculous.

Your partner is there to share with, to work through things so that your relationship can grow.

Children are not the issue as you have said.

What on Earth happened to the sex topic threads???

Do I have to pick two to have a threesome with from in here
The next time I rate the person above from 1 -10 I am liable to get a

Hey There,

I have no idea why they went, it's a bummer. Don''t worry we still think you are a 10 even thought it's not there anymore.

The complicated thing is we met in a foreign country and she quit her life and job there to be with me in the US. We typically get along great otherwise outside of certain issues. She can be supportive if say I have a problem with work or something but it's just when something conflicts with what she wants. I also have commitment issues which I have been working on too. Her current solution was to just not talk about kids for now. I know avoiding the issue isn't the best but honestly I need some time to relax. ( also I injured my leg in martial arts class and she spent over 30 minutes massaging it so she does care about stuff like that lol. I just think she is behind the curb on emotional maturity)

Regardless where you met her it still sounds to me that she is not the only one with issues that need to be worked out. Sounds like to me you both need to get some help understanding each others issues... Counseling for you both is what I would recommend. Maybe that way you both can get off your chest what is bothering you... This does not sound like to me it is all one person... Sure she is being selfish in not talking to you but then she was unselfish by leaving her country coming to yours with the intentions of having a family. Which you are being selfish in that area...

These things are never easy to deal with. Just because of your childhood you don't want kids. Sounds like to me you need to deal with your past in order to have a future for you are hanging on too the past keeping you from a future..

All I can say is good luck but until you seek the help you both need or at least learn to start dealing with it with her helping you, ya could be doomed when it comes to a future together.....

To many want to blame their past for what they lack now or could have in the future.. Nothing will change until a person takes that step to change the path so the past is not carried into the future.

Otherwise until you deal with your past issues of childhood it will only put a cloud on what your future could be like...

Technically we met in a country where we were both foreigners.

Well this may put a lot of men off, but I can't have kids naturally. I would adopt or seek out a surrogate mother. I don't see why a relationship can't be fixed. If you both wish to stay in each other lives. You have commitment problems? So that may be a good reason for her to be getting angry with you. Maybe she actually wants commitment. If you're not willing to put your all into it, then maybe you're just not as into her as you first thought.

This ^

Perhaps there is more to it than just the issue about kids, I honestly cannot say, but perhaps it is worth some more consideration. I firmly believe if two people want a relationship to work, they will find a way, no matter what... if an issue arises that one or the other cannot overcome, one that defeats or overcomes the desire to be in the relationship, then obviously it is not meant to be.

OP, I don't mean to sound bossy or anything, but surely it would be better asking yourself if you're willing enough to bring up her children with her. There is still plenty of risk of her getting pregnant. And you know what i mean by that because you're not stupid. What if she gets pregnant, and you still don't want children? What then? You really need to think long and hard about it. Please don't string her along if you don't want what SHE wants. :flower:

Ever heard of the term 'Get out while you can'? Just saying. You don't wanna get into something you may regret later. You cannot undo what you did in the past. Just thinking you'd save yourself a lot of heartache. No point in false promises.