would someone please tell me why an ex bf says "i want to be friends" yet won't hear from him for weeks at a time, then calls out of the blue to tell me "You've bee on my mind a ot lately" ...? (this happens repeatedly)

Maybe i'm looking into it way too much but any advice would be great.

Thanks everyone!!

Does he use drugs?

You should tell him to go away and stay away. It is obvious he doesn't want to be your friend. If he did, he would stay in touch. He's an ex for a reason!!

i just got in contacted with a old bf of mine today and he has even expressed his feelings as well what i have been feeling, and i no for sure hes not on drugs

Need more info. Is he under a lot of stress from work or finances, can have a lot of bearing on how busy he is. Might have a hard time managing his time.

I am having somewhat the same problem ive been with this older man for 11 yrs we have 3 boys 2gether we broke up last yr, yet ive tried to make things work out for us he keeps comming back, he gets mad and leaves this happens atleast every other month and i do love him i am thinking maybe hes on drugs its hard to tell these things and it makes us crazy frim here on out i am gonna stay away its not good for me or my kids! its all a mind game to these men they get off on hurting us there for i think its best to tell them it is what it is and to move on with there lives and to go find someone eles!

If it's a recent break up then you need to spend some time apart without any communication. It's the only way to keep it from getting into a bad habit.

Good luck with it.

hahaha. he's not on drugs. although i would have an easier time dealing with it if he was. he's always says he's stressed but who isn't? he always wants to know if i am seeing other people although i know he has been with quite a few. (we broke up 10 months ago, after 4 yrs and i havent been with anyone)

as time goes by the bad memories are dimmed and the good hightned and absence makes the heart grow fonder

bad memories are still fresh. ill just convince my self... He's just crazy!!!

Booty call!!!

tru,tru but maybe its just that he don't want us to move on with our lives

I think old habits are hard to break. what I mean by that is did you say you were dating for 4 years? Sometimes even though we know that is time to move on its very difficult to let go. Sometimes when your having a rough day or just bored or blue you think of how the other person used to brighten your day and you miss them and start to think maybe....... or sometimes its just nice to hear the other persons voice.
Like I said some habits (like loving someone or being loved by someone) are very hard to break! My advice... steer clear from spending intimate time - oh come on honey for old times sake I really miss you blah blah blah. When he calls tell ask him how he has been let him know how great your life is going and that your not just sitting around waiting for his call.
Whatever you do.... BEST OF LUCK!

This is typical of a self-absorbed person who only wants to deal with you when HE wants to deal with you.

thanks all!!!

i have that same problem too

It's been my experience that they only contact you again, when they've went through all their other options. He probably just want to sleep with you!

cause he's just looking for tail. duh!!!