How do you get them to do it? Or do you just ignore their room when messy?

You go in and do a "Mom Clean" you bring in big garbage bags and throw anything and everything that is in the floor into the bags and throw them out.
Do you replace them?? absolutely not! if they did not care enough about their belongings to put them away properly then they dont need them. Do this once and there will be no need to do it again- as soon as they see you near their rooms with a garbage bag they will clean up themselves!

If they dont do their own laundry then you do it and they have 24 hours to put their clothes away or you take them and give them away- being naked and having nothing to play with is not the highlight of their days.
Do I sound harsh?? yep! but it works!

She is so right I did the same thing. An it does work with about everything.An boy they don't like it an will cause a big ruckus. Just stand you ground.

Surely there is a better way?

I lock them in their rooms on Friday night and let them out once cleaned.

I need to throw a rope into my 17yr olds bedroom, so i can find my way back out again and then physche myself into running the gauntlet over a rack of electric guitars, PC stuffs, cords, something with fuzz growing on it, potato chip packets, empty cans of soft drink, and numerous other stuff that i haven't yet identified, just to retrieve laundry and crockery. I dare not look under his bad for fear of something living under there.

I call him the "wookie" because of his 6ft 2 height, hair longer than mine, and facial hair that would make Blackbeard envious. So coming on heavy handed is not going to cut it with him...ya know?? I'm just thankful he has good hygiene with himself...the room sees the light of day and gets a good airing when he's staying over at a friends place.

For my daughters 13th birthday, I cleaned her room from top to bottom and told her she would be getting the same thing next year....and probably for Christmas and graduation too...It worked...

We had care takers growing up that would clean my room. When we were old enough to know not to catch the house on fire or talk to strangers, a messy room wasn't really a top priority. My mom was more concerned about keeping us out of trouble.

Sounds like a bunch of RUDE, PAMPERED BABIES. MY OPINION.
Wonder why the younger generation is so LACKING in manners & decency.
AGAIN MY OPINION. In my work at the airport I see people dressed so tacky & some showing WAY to much of themselves to the world. Why wear clothes if that is how you WANT to look & traveling with their PARENTS?? Is this a "GOOD PARENT". Don't think I am to "old to understand." DECENCY, MANNERS & COMMON SENSE, ARE TAUGHT BY PARENTS.

OR SHOULD BE.

ALL of the above is simply MY OPINION. READ it or NOT.

Recent video of New York bus monitor makes my point

I saw that video and was appalled at the lack of respect shown toward an elderly lady Oldsage. And i can truly understand your disgust in the teenagers bullying her. I also agree....most children are a reflection of their parents negligence in teaching them proper manners.

A messy bedroom is the least of a parents problem if their child lacks poor manners.

I saw that video also and wished I was on that bus to speak to them. Thankfully my daughter is respectful and she is a leader and would have said something to. She treats the home like it is her nest, lol.

Agree Kahurangi...In fact, I think a messy bedroom is pretty normal for tweens and teens....Finding creative ways to get my daughter to keep her room neatened up was more about teaching diligence...If it got too bad, I could always close the door...

Yep I do this too. Although now my kids know that when I say either you clean it or I will and they get right on it because they know if they don't they will lose their stuff.

Agree Kahurangi...In fact, I think a messy bedroom is pretty normal for tweens and teens....Finding creative ways to get my daughter to keep her room neatened up was more about teaching diligence...If it got too bad, I could always close the door...


I agree that messy bedrooms are bad manners and I also agree it is a normal part of adolescence. However, teenagers do need to learn responsibility and accountability. That is our job as parents to instill these qualities.

For my kids, if their rooms aren't clean, friends don't come over. Period. I always know when they have something planned. Suddenly the rooms get cleaned and the chores get done.

I was thoroughly taught manners, never was I even barely pampered (though I did wear Pampers), and I haven't been a baby since I learned to walk. I think I'm pretty decent.

I agree that messy bedrooms are bad manners and I also agree it is a normal part of adolescence. However, teenagers do need to learn responsibility and accountability. That is our job as parents to instill these qualities.

For my kids, if their rooms aren't clean, friends don't come over. Period. I always know when they have something planned. Suddenly the rooms get cleaned and the chores get done.

great ideas

I particularly love the throwing away of things on the floor, I did this too,,and it works,,,

Hmm, my daughter only has clothes on her floor. Throwing those away would be expensive. I have told her she cannot ask me to buy her anything new until she looks after what she has.

GREAT APPROACH, sometimes works.

Thank you Oldsage. Already she made a plan to attack the mess Saturday morning.