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Topic: In Generally Speaking
mg1959 Joined Thu 04/05/07 Posts: 7872	Thu 05/10/12 01:22 AM
I'd like to add something here if I could. When I make these statements there not man vs woman statements. Maturity is an equal opportunity value. And, if I can even be this bold. I think that maybe (not always) women may just mature a little faster than guys. I was always surprised that I passed up a lot of my friends in doing adult things when they were still back in diapers it seemed. I had a serious career at 17 and even though my friends were working it was about getting laid and partying. Back then and even now I see a lot of young women who really have serious goals and some are already achievers of those goals by their early and mid twenties. But, from what I've been told they just don't want to be with a boy and they don't want to wait till those boys grow up. So for those gals you can't blame them for looking at a broader market of guys. I've also seen many gals marry these younger immature guys back in their twenties and now are forced to start all over again with a lot of baggage this time around. So I wonder what are these twenty and thirty year old gals supposed to do? My apologies MG...i didn't mean to make it about you And excuse my bluntness...but what point are you trying to make? Oh don't worry I was writing this while the thread moved on already. It wasn't in response to you, it was just a thought I had. I was wondering how folks felt about the increase of younger women seeking older guys, and how gals feel who have been stuck in the middle of their life after they found out their man was too immature to stick with their commitment.

Kahurangi Joined Thu 04/26/12 Posts: 1970	Thu 05/10/12 01:25 AM
Somewhat liberated i suspect...but moving on...

mg1959 Joined Thu 04/05/07 Posts: 7872	Thu 05/10/12 01:27 AM
I couldn't imagine being in a long term trap.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Thu 05/10/12 04:35 AM
We all know couples who have large age spans, I do anyway. It seems to me that 'society' whispers 'cougar' when the woman has chosen younger and has admiration for a man who has chosen younger. Yes, very unfair. your right bro i see so many dating in different age brackets and i think people should admire that , cause to many are narrow minded and never open up their horizon, and maybe if they did talk to couples in different age groups or see more they may think and open up but its their choice :) cheers thanks for your input Ah, I'm starting to get it. You think that because some date in different age groups, that everyone should give it a try. You have to realize, though, that everyone is different. What works for some may not work for others. Why should everyone try and be the same? did i say that?lolllllllllll i said its "their choice" i notice you try and twist peoples words , or maybe you need to just think a bit more lolllll IN my opinion i think everyone should do what they want but should not have such a narrow minded view or judge on a age before they know a person, its like a simple opinion lolllllllllllll What exactly is this narrow view you think I have? lolllllllllll i don't really know you that well but from what i see its narrow to not open a horizon on age group in general or to judge a person by a age by saying i not dating them cause that age is immature before even knowing the person :) thats narrow too:) This sounds like you don't even know what age range I prefer. And I don't believe I said I wasn't dating anyone because they were too immature. I was wondering where you got the last question you asked about all those in their 20s being immature, because that wasn't something I had said, either. Before going off on someone because you feel their views are too narrow, at least find out what their views are first. :)

Chloe23Irish Joined Sun 01/01/12 Posts: 717	Thu 05/10/12 05:26 AM
Some of you have a very low opinion of the younger people. How can you judge someone's maturity level based upon their age. Ms Harmony had the right idea on page one of this thread; ''Someone of 23 could have easily obtained a degree at a young age while raising younger siblings their whole life and supported themselves financially''. This is SO true, for me that statement is partially true. What I'm basically saying is that none of you can judge me or people my age JUST based on age. None of you know my story or my ''life experience'' as another person has mentioned. And so, if some of you guys have had bad experiences with younger people then fine stick with people your own age if that's what suits you BUT, please don't paint everyone with the same brush because I can assure you this much, we're NOT all the same. Everyone is DIFFERENT.

delilady Joined Fri 07/24/09 Posts: 23825	Thu 05/10/12 06:42 AM
Chloe, when I mention life experience it has nothing to do with maturity but where a person is in their life. Someone your age may be more open to dating in any age group---I was at your age. At 55, I do not want to raise any children. Mine are 20 and 27. I did the sports and school parent volunteering. Now it is time for me. I work fulltime so someone older who is retired may not like that I am not available to do the things he wants at any given moment. I like being with someone who was a teenager in the 70's. Who went to see Bruce Springsteen in concert in Jersey before he was the Boss. Who remembers the day President Kennedy was shot. I am not putting down being young. I love spending time with my sons and their friends. I just don't want to date anyone who I could have given birth to. It's just a choice for me because I know where I am happiest. The point I was trying to make to Cheerup and MG was that neither of them have been in a long term relationship with someone much older or much younger that lasted. Therefore how can they preach to anyone what they have no personal experience in doing. I would like to hear from someone who has been in an older/younger relationship that has lasted over 15 years and that they felt age was never a factor.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Thu 05/10/12 08:15 AM
Age does matter because with age comes maturity. How can I relate what its like to have a 20 year career to someone who has never had one? How can I relate to a 20 or 30 year old guy that because of age; my best friends are dying from heart attacks? How can I relate how age is affecting me and my body to someone who is 20 or 30 years younger? How would I relate to someone about the 70s when they weren't even born? I doubt very much that I would have much in common with a younger man that say has never served a day in the military or has only served a couple years. Sorry; but guys my age have a hard enough time understanding me; a younger guy would be way worse. well its communication.... ok put it this way how would you relate to someone your age that hates war? or someone thats older but just drinks booze all day? or someone in 70s that never went anywhere and just stayed at home most of his life and hardly know anything ? see you only saying negatives not positives lollllllll ok now positives put it this way i was part owner of a business when i was 19 and owned a business too ,different people are different i also have lots of friends young and old from 19 to in the 90s don't mean i date them but i do know about health and life a lot , and the point i was making if a person judges why i say the word judge is ..........think this way,say a person never ever talks to a different age group cause of their age is that not judging that person ? because saying it won't work cause of age? cause if the person never ever tried ,they already judged that person ...... cause of age????????? right????? i know people have a right to choose who they want or don't want ,thats up to them but if a person never ever tried or don't even know a person and say oh that person is immature cause of their age ,then they judged them Judgemental \| Define Judgemental at Dictionary.com judgmental or judgemental —adj. of or denoting an attitude in which judgments about other people's conduct are made. judgemental or judgemental. —adj ... * o Judge \| Define Judge at Dictionary judging ones character ..................so it is judging cause only reasons i getting is they immature of a age before they know the person so it is a judge lolllllllllll hope i explained it clear enough to you all Communication won't work with someone younger. Somebody that lived the 70s may have not gone out but they can still relate as they were alive; not sucking on a baby bottle. I couldn't take a younger guy seriously. If the person is anti-war; why would I be with them at all? They still can't understand how it is to lose friends because of age? A person my age would certainly understand that. Actually in my experience; younger guys drink way more booze than an older guy because lets face it as we age; we can't drink as much. Also; how does a 30 year relate to an aging body? I am tired at the end of the day and a younger man wants sex; but I am say I am tired. As we age; our bodies tire more. How do I relate with aching joints or a sore back to a younger guy? How about menopause? How about when I retire? I can travel but sony boy still has to work for another 20 years. Seriously; you think someone wants that? Sorry; I see no point of dating someone that has little or no life experience. Bottom line; he needs to grow up or better yet date someone his own age that can grow with him. You want to call me judegmental; so be it but not dating someone young enough to be my son. I would be too embarrassed to even be seen with him. Besides if you guys are so mature; why don't you date mature women your age? lolllllllll i date my age and other ages too depends on the person :) as for drinking your wrong my friend .............a new study has found that older adults who have alcohol dependence problems drink significantly more than younger adults who have similar problems. The findings suggest that older problem drinkers may have developed a tolerance for alcohol and need to drink even more than younger abusers to achieve the effects they seek.Researchers at Ohio State University found that adults over age 60 with alcohol dependence drink more than 40 alcoholic beverages a week on average, compared to between 25 and 35 drinks a week on average for those in younger age groups with similar problems...............ok now back to other your right why would you want to be with someone anti-war i was just showing you a negative thinking :)They still can't understand how it is to lose friends because of age? A person my age would certainly understand that. <<<< now that is just so wrong you saying cause if a person in 20s or 30s they would not understand if they lost a love 1 cause of age? you ever think some have lost lots by the age of 20? or 30? i know i have lost tons of friends older and younger death is not a age thing my dear :)ok next thing there are young guys retired my friend and travel more then you :) so all your reason are nothing ...maybe the joint pain lolll :) ps oh the truth comes out ........... I would be too embarrassed to even be seen with him. :) my goodness my friend if you worry to much what others think then life will be more narrow in that way ,you should never worry like that ,thats just so sad hugsss:) I call BS that a 20 or 30 year old lost someone because of age; an accident or illness yes but not because of age. Research is pure bull as you go to any pub in this city (Calgary) and the majority is 30 year olds and as I said in my experience. You see how that works; with age comes experience. As for joint pain; that is a major issue. As for sex; that is another major issue as younger guys want sex on a regular basis and after putting in a 14 hour day; I am beat and that's the last thing on my mind. How about kids? What 50 year old woman wants to bear or raise kids? Sorry; but I want someone that is in the same age category as well as mental capacity. A peron's mental capcity at 30 is not the same as one at 50. I should know as I have been there. I can't explain it on terms that you could understand. I could care less if younger guys traveled more than me; that still does not give them the experiences I have gone through. Going to Europe now and 20 years ago are like night and day. Also some young guy that has traveled Europe for a vacation can't compare to me dealing with terrorists while serving in Europe. You forget; I am around young people all the time so I see what they are like. I was in my 20s and 30s; yes I was an adult but in no way did I have a clue of what I really wanted. I at least am mature enough to admit that. An older woman is nothing more than a novelty to you and when you tire; you will dump her or cheat on her for someone younger. I am not going to keep arguing the point. If a guy has mommy issues; then he needs to find himself someone else; I have more self respect for myself. I am not a cougar. I also teach kids and I am well known in the community as well as the city. I have a reputation to uphold and being known as a cougar would be a source of embarassment for me. I can't take a young guy seriously as a boyfriend of lifemate and I find it laughable when young guys approach me. I tell them to go back to mommy.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Thu 05/10/12 08:18 AM
We all know couples who have large age spans, I do anyway. It seems to me that 'society' whispers 'cougar' when the woman has chosen younger and has admiration for a man who has chosen younger. Yes, very unfair. your right bro i see so many dating in different age brackets and i think people should admire that , cause to many are narrow minded and never open up their horizon, and maybe if they did talk to couples in different age groups or see more they may think and open up but its their choice :) cheers thanks for your input Ah, I'm starting to get it. You think that because some date in different age groups, that everyone should give it a try. You have to realize, though, that everyone is different. What works for some may not work for others. Why should everyone try and be the same? did i say that?lolllllllllll i said its "their choice" i notice you try and twist peoples words , or maybe you need to just think a bit more lolllll IN my opinion i think everyone should do what they want but should not have such a narrow minded view or judge on a age before they know a person, its like a simple opinion lolllllllllllll What exactly is this narrow view you think I have? Sing; you don't have a narrow view. In fact; you have a level head on your shoulder and are smart enough to know what you want. Don't let these guys bully you. I agree with you 100% on the age thing. It doesn't work for me either.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Thu 05/10/12 08:23 AM
We all know couples who have large age spans, I do anyway. It seems to me that 'society' whispers 'cougar' when the woman has chosen younger and has admiration for a man who has chosen younger. Yes, very unfair. your right bro i see so many dating in different age brackets and i think people should admire that , cause to many are narrow minded and never open up their horizon, and maybe if they did talk to couples in different age groups or see more they may think and open up but its their choice :) cheers thanks for your input Ah, I'm starting to get it. You think that because some date in different age groups, that everyone should give it a try. You have to realize, though, that everyone is different. What works for some may not work for others. Why should everyone try and be the same? did i say that?lolllllllllll i said its "their choice" i notice you try and twist peoples words , or maybe you need to just think a bit more lolllll IN my opinion i think everyone should do what they want but should not have such a narrow minded view or judge on a age before they know a person, its like a simple opinion lolllllllllllll What exactly is this narrow view you think I have? Sing; you don't have a narrow view. In fact; you have a level head on your shoulder and are smart enough to know what you want. Don't let these guys bully you. I agree with you 100% on the age thing. It doesn't work for me either. Thank you :). Turns out cheerup didn't know what that "narrow view" was, anyway. I guess he was just assuming it was a narrow view, because I said age did matter. He wasn't quite clear on that, though.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Thu 05/10/12 08:25 AM
Chloe, when I mention life experience it has nothing to do with maturity but where a person is in their life. Someone your age may be more open to dating in any age group---I was at your age. At 55, I do not want to raise any children. Mine are 20 and 27. I did the sports and school parent volunteering. Now it is time for me. I work fulltime so someone older who is retired may not like that I am not available to do the things he wants at any given moment. I like being with someone who was a teenager in the 70's. Who went to see Bruce Springsteen in concert in Jersey before he was the Boss. Who remembers the day President Kennedy was shot. I am not putting down being young. I love spending time with my sons and their friends. I just don't want to date anyone who I could have given birth to. It's just a choice for me because I know where I am happiest. The point I was trying to make to Cheerup and MG was that neither of them have been in a long term relationship with someone much older or much younger that lasted. Therefore how can they preach to anyone what they have no personal experience in doing. You said it much better than I did. What you mentioned is life experience and I too can't relate to someone who was not born when I was already half way through my career.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Thu 05/10/12 08:27 AM
We all know couples who have large age spans, I do anyway. It seems to me that 'society' whispers 'cougar' when the woman has chosen younger and has admiration for a man who has chosen younger. Yes, very unfair. your right bro i see so many dating in different age brackets and i think people should admire that , cause to many are narrow minded and never open up their horizon, and maybe if they did talk to couples in different age groups or see more they may think and open up but its their choice :) cheers thanks for your input Ah, I'm starting to get it. You think that because some date in different age groups, that everyone should give it a try. You have to realize, though, that everyone is different. What works for some may not work for others. Why should everyone try and be the same? did i say that?lolllllllllll i said its "their choice" i notice you try and twist peoples words , or maybe you need to just think a bit more lolllll IN my opinion i think everyone should do what they want but should not have such a narrow minded view or judge on a age before they know a person, its like a simple opinion lolllllllllllll What exactly is this narrow view you think I have? Sing; you don't have a narrow view. In fact; you have a level head on your shoulder and are smart enough to know what you want. Don't let these guys bully you. I agree with you 100% on the age thing. It doesn't work for me either. Thank you :). Turns out cheerup didn't know what that "narrow view" was, anyway. I guess he was just assuming it was a narrow view, because I said age did matter. He wasn't quite clear on that, though. Well as I said before; age to some of us does matter and last thing I need in my life is a young guy with mommy issues.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Thu 05/10/12 08:27 AM Edited by navygirl on Thu 05/10/12 09:10 AM
I hear a lot of talk about maturity. Part of being mature is accepting that an older person many not see you that way.I have 70 year old friends that don't see a 50 year as not being mature and I accept it. I am not going to argue the point as he is entitled to his opinion. I can't compare my life experiences as vast as I think they are to someone 20 years older than me as he simply has experienced life longer.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Thu 05/10/12 09:06 AM
Well as I said before; age to some of us does matter and last thing I need in my life is a young guy with mommy issues. And the last thing I need in my dating life is a guy old enough to be my father.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Thu 05/10/12 09:09 AM
Well as I said before; age to some of us does matter and last thing I need in my life is a young guy with mommy issues. And the last thing I need in my dating life is a guy old enough to be my father. He He well said. I just wrote a post about a friend of mine that is 70 and he called me a young pup and said 50 year olds weren't mature compared to him. I still have nothing but the greatest respect for him though.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Thu 05/10/12 09:11 AM
I have no problem with people of any age. But, when it comes to dating, there are preferences. Most people have them, whether they have to do with age or other things. If they say they don't, they're not telling the truth.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Thu 05/10/12 09:16 AM Edited by navygirl on Thu 05/10/12 09:17 AM
I have no problem with people of any age. But, when it comes to dating, there are preferences. Most people have them, whether they have to do with age or other things. If they say they don't, they're not telling the truth. I personally think people try to delude themselves into thinking that dating younger will make them feel younger. I had lots of preferences; no heavy drinkers, no single dads, no smokers. A friend of mine who is 55 dated a 25 year old had to end the relationship as he couldn't stand listening to her "head banging music" and the way she spent money like it was water. I couldn't help but laugh and held back saying I told you so.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Thu 05/10/12 09:27 AM
I have no problem with people of any age. But, when it comes to dating, there are preferences. Most people have them, whether they have to do with age or other things. If they say they don't, they're not telling the truth. I personally think people try to delude themselves into thinking that dating younger will make them feel younger. I had lots of preferences; no heavy drinkers, no single dads, no smokers. A friend of mine who is 55 dated a 25 year old had to end the relationship as he couldn't stand listening to her "head banging music" and the way she spent money like it was water. I couldn't help but laugh and held back saying I told you so. Older men have contacted me, telling me their age, but informing me that they look/feel/act much younger, so they want to date younger women. So I think that you have something there.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Thu 05/10/12 09:37 AM Edited by navygirl on Thu 05/10/12 09:48 AM
I have no problem with people of any age. But, when it comes to dating, there are preferences. Most people have them, whether they have to do with age or other things. If they say they don't, they're not telling the truth. I personally think people try to delude themselves into thinking that dating younger will make them feel younger. I had lots of preferences; no heavy drinkers, no single dads, no smokers. A friend of mine who is 55 dated a 25 year old had to end the relationship as he couldn't stand listening to her "head banging music" and the way she spent money like it was water. I couldn't help but laugh and held back saying I told you so. Older men have contacted me, telling me their age, but informing me that they look/feel/act much younger, so they want to date younger women. So I think that you have something there. Yep, thats the way us older folk think sometimes. I on the other hand accept my age. I know my limits. When I was shoveling pea gravel on Monday; my back really hurt. When I don't get at least 7 hours of sleep; I feel like crap. If I drink more than 3 glasses of wine; I am done. Its part of aging. I can't stop it but dating a younger guy isn't going to help. I don't feel I am missing out on any type of experience by not dating younger. For instance; I don't have to stick my hand in boiling water to see if it will hurt; I already know that. Some things; I just have no interest in. My best friends are in their 50s as they get me; although I have lots of casual younger friends that simply can't relate to the 60s, 70s, or 80s. To be fair though; I can't relate to someone raised in the 40s or 50s either.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Thu 05/10/12 09:42 AM
And none of that is a bad thing. I'm just trying to understand why some people would care so much about others' preferences and why it would bother them so much that others have preferences.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Thu 05/10/12 09:47 AM
And none of that is a bad thing. I'm just trying to understand why some people would care so much about others' preferences and why it would bother them so much that others have preferences. Oh didn't you know. If you go against the grain; you are an outcast. LOL Through life; people will always try to convince you that their way is the right way but I just brush them off. As I said; you are an adult and you make the decisions that you feel right for you. Me; I will listen; weigh the options and make my decision. As I said about the boiling water analogy; its not necessary to go through some stuff when you know the outcome. Right here on mingles I saw some insulting comments from young guys calling people my age grannies. Now why would I date someone like that? I feel bad enough being my age so they would only make me feeel worse.