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| Topic: Exclusive? | |
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As was mentioned already... *I* don't share
I personally think it's difficult enough dealing with just one person at a time when starting a new relationship  I quite likely have been wrong in the past when *assuming* that a date (or during the conversations prior to one, if those have reached the lovey dovey stage) is the time to figure out if you like one another... after that date, it should be mutually agreed that the relationship become *exclusive*. Got burnt once... won't make that mistake again.  |
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As was mentioned already... *I* don't share I personally think it's difficult enough dealing with just one person at a time when starting a new relationship I quite likely have been wrong in the past when *assuming* that a date (or during the conversations prior to one, if those have reached the lovey dovey stage) is the time to figure out if you like one another... after that date, it should be mutually agreed that the relationship become *exclusive*. Got burnt once... won't make that mistake again. You know after talking to someone and spending time with them on one date that you're ready to be in an exclusive relationship? Really? |
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You know after talking to someone and spending time with them on one date that you're ready to be in an exclusive relationship? Really? It means that I won't be pursuing anyone else until we figure it out 
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Wed 04/18/12 08:37 PM
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You know after talking to someone and spending time with them on one date that you're ready to be in an exclusive relationship? Really? It means that I won't be pursuing anyone else until we figure it out Sounds like we have different ideas of what an exclusive relationship is. To me, that's when things get more serious and we both decide together that we're in a relationship and not seeing anyone else. Not after one date. |
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Sounds like we have different ideas of what an exclusive relationship is. To me, that's when things get more serious and we both decide together that we're in a relationship and not seeing anyone else. Not after one date. But... I'm a GUY I get confused easily, forget names, etc  Seriously... it's just *my* preference to only deal with one person at a time. I don't send out batches of emails either. I prefer to get to know someone in the forums, and make friends, before trying to find a partner. |
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Sounds like we have different ideas of what an exclusive relationship is. To me, that's when things get more serious and we both decide together that we're in a relationship and not seeing anyone else. Not after one date. But... I'm a GUY I get confused easily, forget names, etc Seriously... it's just *my* preference to only deal with one person at a time. I don't send out batches of emails either. I prefer to get to know someone in the forums, and make friends, before trying to find a partner. I'm not necessarily talking about meeting someone I've chatted with for a long time here. If they're local, I like to meet quickly. If I went out with someone local and had a nice date, that would be awesome. If they told me at the end of the date that we must be exclusive right away, that would be really weird. It may not have great results. |
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I'm not necessarily talking about meeting someone I've chatted with for a long time here. If they're local, I like to meet quickly. If I went out with someone local and had a nice date, that would be awesome. If they told me at the end of the date that we must be exclusive right away, that would be really weird. It may not have great results. In that scenario... I would totally agree with you Maybe my opinion is based on never having had that first date without quite a few emails, then phone conversation (if local) and Skype if it's further away. |
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Wed 04/18/12 08:57 PM
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Ah, ok. Yeah, this is not the only way I meet people to date and I prefer that they're local.
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Edited by
Dragoness
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Wed 04/18/12 08:59 PM
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I had a guy from another site get angry and almost cuss me out because after he wrote me a couple of times, I let him know that I was conversating with other men by mail.
He did me a favor that is for sure.  There is no way I want to shut all men down just because I met one or am emailing one. So many do not pan out into anything that even ends in a friendship let alone a romance. I am picky these days it seems |
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I had a guy from another site get angry and almost cuss me out because after he wrote me a couple of times, I let him know that I was conversating with other men by mail. He did me a favor that is for sure. There is no way I want to shut all men down just because I met one or am emailing one. So many do not pan out into anything that even ends in a friendship let alone a romance. I am picky these days it seems I like when those kind of guys show how they are right away like that. I've dealt with the same thing. It's creepy! |
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As was mentioned already... *I* don't share I personally think it's difficult enough dealing with just one person at a time when starting a new relationship I quite likely have been wrong in the past when *assuming* that a date (or during the conversations prior to one, if those have reached the lovey dovey stage) is the time to figure out if you like one another... after that date, it should be mutually agreed that the relationship become *exclusive*. Got burnt once... won't make that mistake again. You know after talking to someone and spending time with them on one date that you're ready to be in an exclusive relationship? Really? I think my heart works along those lines too,, I cant buy the car to see if I Want to keep it,, I have to want to keep it before I invest money into owning it not to belittle men into cars,, just making an analogy,,, I cant see being 'exclusive' with someone that I hardly know,,,,but Im also not into the casual sex...so maybe thats a factor I would never be sleeping with anyone that I had not already become 'exclusive' with,,, |
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Once I start talking to a woman, I talk to only her. Untill figure out if it is going to go anywhere.
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As was mentioned already... *I* don't share I personally think it's difficult enough dealing with just one person at a time when starting a new relationship I quite likely have been wrong in the past when *assuming* that a date (or during the conversations prior to one, if those have reached the lovey dovey stage) is the time to figure out if you like one another... after that date, it should be mutually agreed that the relationship become *exclusive*. Got burnt once... won't make that mistake again. You know after talking to someone and spending time with them on one date that you're ready to be in an exclusive relationship? Really? I think my heart works along those lines too,, I cant buy the car to see if I Want to keep it,, I have to want to keep it before I invest money into owning it not to belittle men into cars,, just making an analogy,,, I cant see being 'exclusive' with someone that I hardly know,,,,but Im also not into the casual sex...so maybe thats a factor I would never be sleeping with anyone that I had not already become 'exclusive' with,,, I think some of the people who are talking about being exclusive from the beginning are talking about meeting on a site like this, having lots of emails/phone calls already. Though, even in that case, I wouldn't assume after the first date that things would be exclusive. And if someone I met locally tried to tell me I needed to be exclusive with them after the first date, it would seem quite demanding and way too soon. |
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I would have to date them at least once before deciding if I would date them exclusively. 'When' depends on the speed of a connection. I would be chatting with any number of men at once, but when Ive been on one date, and agreed to a second, I would not date another until Ive decided on exclusivity. Thats just so I can focus on them and decide if I want to pursue long term tho. I have no probs if the guy continues to date other women, but there will be no sex until monogamy, and if he's having sex with others while deciding on long term with me, I will make the decision for him.  If you've decided already after date one not to date anyone else, aren't you deciding to be exclusive, not just thinking about it? |
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Go with the flow...I feel like if we are exclusive and its real than they will feel the same...which means they will be seeing me and only me.
I kind of demand to be the one and only anyway, so...that may not help. LoL Just go with the flow and keep the communication open, even if you are 'just dating' . If you start catching feelings than you most certainly need to see where things are going and if they feel the same...otherwise they are wasting your time if they aren't on the same level. Cheers luv! 
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When she holds a gun to my head and says, "You're mine biatch"!!!!!
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Hmmm. Always exclusive. From the beginning. That is me. But he? He had better be. I have no interest in being anyone's second choice. I think, if someone cannot commit totally to one relationship, they ought to be let go. To find someone else, whom they could love that way. 100% agree! 
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If the relationship has such poor communication that you have to wonder or see signs when it's exclusive is dysfunctional in my mind.
If a couple can't even tell each other when they are exclusive, they shouldnt' be dating. Mind reading, assumptions, and signs are not a part of good relationships. |
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...same here..always was and always will be...
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When she holds a gun to my head and says, "You're mine biatch"!!!!! LMAO I didn't have to do that... ..I casually flipped out my switchblade and started shaping my nails as we calmly and openly spoke about whether we were exclusive or not...I felt that we were.......and so did he. 
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