Agreed.

I like your ramblings. :)

Eh, this isn't directed at myself.
I'm not that cynical.

Jen tells me she loves me, I believe her.
I don't have walls up, nor expect her to live up to any falsely and unspecified expectations..

Oddly, however, I don't love myself..
..but have the exact opposite mind frame.

Hmm..

Secs? Hehe.

As for being hurt.. Yes.
But, not in the way you specified.

I'm just trying to grasp what's the cause.

Why is it far easier to say, "bullchit"
..instead of saying, "I believe you."

Each, of course, circumstance is different.
This particular occasion is no one but my owns fault.
Tangled with some miscommunication, we'll say.

For example.

Ever been told, "You look like a player".
Despite you saying, "No, I'm really not."
It's easier to mentally assess that they are lying, and your premonition is spot on.

You can even tack on:

"No, I'm really not. I'm far too shy."

Despite your personal experience in actually witnessing/knowing (s)he is in fact shy, you still have that negative mind frame, (s)he is a player..

Obviously, not you.. but common place.

But what if they do, for idk pick a time frame.
One that "suits" you to leave said "comfort" zone.
Then, they slip up..
(Nothing overly drastic like infidelity)

..then what?

If..........
as you get to know someone.....
and their actions line up with the words that are coming outta their mouth......
REMEMBER..........
we are Human........
we slip up.....
we say stupid things without thinkin first...
We do stupid chit......
If the slip up ain't a "deal breaker".....
forgive it and move FORWARD!!!!

best answer I got Dude!!!

I am not actually convinced that most people are cynical. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe people who talk about relationships on line are more cynical than those who don't. I don't know. I just have the feeling that it's more fifty-fifty, if you looked at the big picture.

A lot of people get hurt by love sooner or later--I suppose most do. Then they try to protect themselves because that pain was so awful. But as Ghostrider pointed out, you've got to look at the actions and no just go by the words. Sometimes the negative talk may just be a way of blowing off steam, getting it out of your system so you can move on.

I read a while back that humans tend to focus on the negative more than the positive because it helps protect them from danger. Kind of like once burned, twice shy. It's just that we're so good at generalizing, we get carried away and apply it to everything. We also forget that we can change our behavior so that the negative outcomes are less likely.

Obviously not me what?

Everyone has different defence mechanisms; some laugh bad experiences off and others internalize them and put up armour. I prefer the optimistic route, myself. It's much easier to have a smile on my face, than a frown. Then people like hanging out with me more, which means more friends and then less stress for me. I've tried being cynical, too, and I have my moments, but in the end I feel awful and bringing the energy down is not a good time.

If I treat everyone at face value, and look at their actions, I can usually get a pretty good sense of where they are coming from. Act in good faith, until otherwise indicated.

Cheers!

..you said you don't have a "negative mind frame".
Therefore, the example excludes you?

Cynicism -- done properly -- is art.

I don't have the patience to deal with those who are very cynical. They tend to be very negative about most things. And I don't believe it's easier to be cynical than optimistic.

Interesting point (just as easy to be positive).

One thing that's always mystified me is why it's "cool" to be cynical.

It's less fun to be a realist. I'd rather be ignorant.