I have read a few post the last couple weeks and they talked about
wanting to change other people, I wanted to share this for anyone who
wanted to listen. I have this big thing about trying to change others
and people others who try to control everything around them and the
people in their lives. My saying has always been you have no control
over anyone but yourself and you cant change anyone but yourself.
Enjoy!! This is not directed to anyone just in general.




How easy it is to blame our problems on others. "Look
at what he's doing"..."Look how long I've waited"...."
Why doesn't she call?" "If only he'd change then I'd
be happy"....

Often, our accusations are justified. We probably are
feeling hurt and frustrated. In those moments, we may
begin to believe that the solution to our pain and
frustration is getting the other person to do what we
want, or having the outcome we desire. But these
self-defeating illusions put the power and control of
our life in other people's hands. We call this
codpendency.

The solution to our pain and frustration, however
valid, is to acknowledge our own feelings. We feel the
anger, the grief; then we let go of the feeling and
find peace--within ourselves. We know our happiness
isn't controlled by another person, even though we may
have convinced ourselves it is. We call this
acceptance.

Then we decide that although we'd like our situations
to be different, maybe our life is happening this way
for a reason. Maybe there is a higher purpose and plan
in play, one that's better than we could have
orchestrated. We call this faith.

Then we decide what we need to do, what is within our
power to do to take care of ourselves. That's called
recovery.

It's easy to point our finger at another, but it's
more rewarding to gently point it at ourselves.
------------ --------- -------
Today, I will live with my pain and frustration by
dealing with my own feelings.

The way I see it is, LOVE ME AS I'M AND I'LL LOVE YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE
TAKE THE GOOD WITH THE BAD FOR I'M NOT PERFECT I'M JUST ME!!!!

yeah i totally agree if people need change in their lives its usually
themselfs that need the change . i usaully see it as a sign of being
conceted and selfishness,why try and change people people being
different is what make life interesting

The ones who want to change people are usually selfish, and
self-centered. They want everyone to change for them. They usually go
for the wrong type thinking in the back of thier mind that if the other
loves them they will change. The way I see it, when you enter or begin
thinking about entering a relationship you need to ask yourself: "Am I
wiiling to change anything about myself for this person?" If the answer
is no then it wont work out. Relationships are a merger of two lives and
as with anything that merges change is inevitable.

A realtionship is a compromise. You have to bend some to get the other
to bend some and meet in the middle. But there are issues you have to
draw a line. Don't ask me not to be me. Don't try to change who I am. I
know who I am and I will continue being me. Drug abuse is one of the
issues I draw a line on. I drink some, I smoke some, but I will not live
or be involved with someone who pops pills(not talking about prescibed)
or does meth or coke/crack. I will not tolerate a drunk/alcoholic. These
items I would say change your ways for find someone else. I hope you get
what I am saying. I am not controling but I make a stand on some issues.