Community > Parenting Talk

Topic: fathers.
msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 02/26/12 05:46 PM
why do you think some fathers distance themselves from their pregnant partner or the child after it's born? Some people are incapable of being a parent, even though their body is able to produce children, they lack the mentality, maturity, and emotional capacity to be a responsible adult, and a parent. There's all kinds of reasons why one would be this way. And boys feel like sex is a freebie and they don't want to take responsibility for the life they created. girls too,,,,but boys dont have abortion as an option Boys think if they get a girl pg, she can just abort. I heard that is very psychologically draining on a to-be mom to abort her baby! I know I would not.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Sun 02/26/12 07:35 PM Edited by navygirl on Sun 02/26/12 07:42 PM
why do you think some fathers distance themselves from their pregnant partner or the child after it's born? I just think some people were not meant to be parents. I am not one to judge their decision but maybe the kid is better off without the dad. JMO No no no you're a little off this time. There were studies done and the biggest forewarning of a kid going to jail, etc., was lack of a father figure involvement. I think they were 3x more likely to have societal, behavioral and criminal activities. I'd have to look it back up and be for sure, but 3x sounds right, and I don't feel like looking it up tonight!! For all that info the ladies owe me a smooch! This isn't about going to jail or criminal activity; its about having a father that doesn't want you in his life. I had one just like that. That's what I mean by these kids are better off without the dad. Who wants a dad that doesn't love them or want them around. Its a horrible feeling and it scars you for life. This could even leave a child to commit suicide which is much worse than becoming a criminal.

GotScreenstyle Joined Tue 02/21/12 Posts: 142	Sun 02/26/12 10:18 PM
Could be she's insane. As long as he's supporting the child he may come around to certain facts and/or opportunities. People conceive babies by acting stupid and it's not fair to say the father is not a real man when the mother is most likely not a real woman. Real women are smart enough to not get punked.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 02/26/12 11:45 PM
Could be she's insane. As long as he's supporting the child he may come around to certain facts and/or opportunities. People conceive babies by acting stupid and it's not fair to say the father is not a real man when the mother is most likely not a real woman. Real women are smart enough to not get punked. and everyone is not a natural parent, but those who arent are more than capable of learning through experience like we as humans have the capacity to do with just about anything,,,

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Mon 02/27/12 12:32 AM
Could be she's insane. As long as he's supporting the child he may come around to certain facts and/or opportunities. People conceive babies by acting stupid and it's not fair to say the father is not a real man when the mother is most likely not a real woman. Real women are smart enough to not get punked. and everyone is not a natural parent, but those who arent are more than capable of learning through experience like we as humans have the capacity to do with just about anything,,, I was NOT a good father (indifferent) to my first son and lost him. With my next son and daughter I lavished them with my love, I learned.

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Mon 02/27/12 12:34 AM
Could be she's insane. As long as he's supporting the child he may come around to certain facts and/or opportunities. People conceive babies by acting stupid and it's not fair to say the father is not a real man when the mother is most likely not a real woman. Real women are smart enough to not get punked. I don't care if it's fair or not, a real man stands up and is counted on when he creates a baby, no matter the age.

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Mon 02/27/12 07:28 PM
why do you think some fathers distance themselves from their pregnant partner or the child after it's born? I really haven't seen many men do that. sometimes I think they feel a little left out when the love affair between the mommy and the wee newborn begins....but that should just be temporary

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Tue 02/28/12 03:55 PM
why do you think some fathers distance themselves from their pregnant partner or the child after it's born? I really haven't seen many men do that. sometimes I think they feel a little left out when the love affair between the mommy and the wee newborn begins....but that should just be temporary I dunno, I was in love with my kids before they were born and couldn't wait to hold them myself. Unfortunately mommy couldn't breastfeed and I got to enjoy giving them their bottle too!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4886	Tue 02/28/12 09:39 PM
why do you think some fathers distance themselves from their pregnant partner or the child after it's born? I just think some people were not meant to be parents. I am not one to judge their decision but maybe the kid is better off without the dad. JMO No no no you're a little off this time. There were studies done and the biggest forewarning of a kid going to jail, etc., was lack of a father figure involvement. I think they were 3x more likely to have societal, behavioral and criminal activities. I'd have to look it back up and be for sure, but 3x sounds right, and I don't feel like looking it up tonight!! For all that info the ladies owe me a smooch! I have actually raised my boys alone...they have never been in jail or had any kind of criminal activity. I do believe that 1 parent can raise a child and teach them the correct way of becoming a great man or woman...I have young men. It is sad to say that not every one's life turns out the way we plan...a nice house with a white picket fence and a loving husband and father. BUT I will say, I am ONE HELL of a good Mom!! I think that some men just realize that after they have a child that they have to settle down and that isn't what they were looking for after all. A child is a lot of work but they are well worth it in the end. I must say that I wish every child could have a Dad like I did, then maybe this world would be a much better place. I LOVE YOU DAD AND I MISS YOU...UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, ANGEL KISSES!!

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Wed 02/29/12 04:30 AM
Congrats for raising your 2 boys to decent men. You certainly bucked the trend and skewed the results of that study! (This is a good thing) I just wish I knew more about showing my daughter on make-up and girlie stuff, but as a young woman she is doing just fine.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Wed 02/29/12 06:44 AM
Congrats for raising your 2 boys to decent men. You certainly bucked the trend and skewed the results of that study! (This is a good thing) I just wish I knew more about showing my daughter on make-up and girlie stuff, but as a young woman she is doing just fine. yes, I wish my daughter had an example of a healthy relationship/marriage or the experience of being a daddys girl or the product of a lifelong love,,,but she is going to still be a wonderful person,,,

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Wed 02/29/12 07:02 AM
Could be she's insane. As long as he's supporting the child he may come around to certain facts and/or opportunities. People conceive babies by acting stupid and it's not fair to say the father is not a real man when the mother is most likely not a real woman. Real women are smart enough to not get punked. and everyone is not a natural parent, but those who arent are more than capable of learning through experience like we as humans have the capacity to do with just about anything,,, I was NOT a good father (indifferent) to my first son and lost him. With my next son and daughter I lavished them with my love, I learned. "Fathers, like mothers, are not born. Men grow into fathers- and fathering is a very important stage in their development." ~~By David M. Gottesman.~~

Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48938	Wed 02/29/12 11:36 AM
why do you think some fathers distance themselves from their pregnant partner or the child after it's born? Those aren't fathers. Those are just sperm donors.

daddy52809 Joined Mon 03/05/12 Posts: 1	Mon 03/05/12 04:22 PM
my ex took my kid away from me so i have to be a father from a distince cuz im not aloud to see her. my ex got married and doesnt want me around. so its not alway the man at fault some woman just dont like the babys dad

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 03/05/12 04:55 PM
my ex took my kid away from me so i have to be a father from a distince cuz im not aloud to see her. my ex got married and doesnt want me around. so its not alway the man at fault some woman just dont like the babys dad this is true, but never give up,,, I have a relative whose mother was that way her whole life, but her dad continued to send child support and try to contact her however he could , and even though he was mostly unsuccessful at contacting her,,,once she grew up and was on her own,, she was curious enough to look him up and she then found out the truth and they have a relationship neither would ever trade never give up , whatever obstacles get in between you and your child,,,

iam4u Joined Fri 10/13/06 Posts: 30096	Mon 03/05/12 06:31 PM
why do you think some fathers distance themselves from their pregnant partner or the child after it's born? To be REAL with you here.. I HAVE NO IDEA! Because THAT,,is something I could NEVER DO! To GUESS? Many reasons,,but,,,to me,,ALL WITH THE SAME,,,over-all-thoughts! THERE NOT READY TO BE A DAD,,or a TIDE DOWN MAN!

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Mon 03/05/12 07:26 PM
my ex took my kid away from me so i have to be a father from a distince cuz im not aloud to see her. my ex got married and doesnt want me around. so its not alway the man at fault some woman just dont like the babys dad You are trying to step up and be counted and that is what counts. You are in an entirely different situation from the OP statement and no, it's not your fault.

teadipper Joined Wed 10/19/11 Posts: 2732	Tue 03/06/12 06:01 PM
why do you think some fathers distance themselves from their pregnant partner or the child after it's born? [/quote In psychoanalytic literature, a Madonna–whore complex is the inability to maintain sexual arousal within a committed, loving relationship.[1] First identified by Sigmund Freud, this psychological complex is said to develop in men who see women as either saintly Madonnas or debased prostitutes. Men with this complex desire a sexual partner who has been degraded (the whore) while they cannot desire the respected partner (the Madonna).[2] Freud wrote: "Where such men love they have no desire and where they desire they cannot love."[3] Clinical psychologist Uwe Hartmann, writing in 2009, stated that the complex "is still highly prevalent in today's patients".[2]

teadipper Joined Wed 10/19/11 Posts: 2732	Tue 03/06/12 06:03 PM
my ex took my kid away from me so i have to be a father from a distince cuz im not aloud to see her. my ex got married and doesnt want me around. so its not alway the man at fault some woman just dont like the babys dad You are trying to step up and be counted and that is what counts. You are in an entirely different situation from the OP statement and no, it's not your fault. Not everybody can be as sexy as father as you Robert.

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Tue 03/06/12 06:56 PM
my ex took my kid away from me so i have to be a father from a distince cuz im not aloud to see her. my ex got married and doesnt want me around. so its not alway the man at fault some woman just dont like the babys dad You are trying to step up and be counted and that is what counts. You are in an entirely different situation from the OP statement and no, it's not your fault. Not everybody can be as sexy as father as you Robert. Making me blush Terri Lynn...I am not sexy, I'm just an average guy at best.