When you get a message from someone you're just not interested in, what's the polite thing to do? I have a message right now that has a couple of red flags for me. He says he wants to get to know me but I have zero interest. Do I just not respond, or is that rude? Or is it ruder to respond with a Sorry, no way?

This guy's account is already deactivated, so that confuses me too.

Red flag could be a scammer, especially if they already deactivated.

I used to write them back and try to explain why I wouldn't be interested, even though they would already know all that if they had actually read my profile.

But it turned out that most of them just wanted to argue the point indefinitely, so now I don't bother replying at all anymore.

After a long period of trial and error, I decided to wait a day in such instances to see if they deactivated.

If I was sure they were a scammer or solicitor due to the number of red flags, I reported them and then blocked them.

If I am less than 50/50 in assessment of the two above, then I send them a polite message explaining that I am not interested/not available.

That's just me. Many others will just choose not to respond or ignore the message altogether.

It's up to you to decide what to do. Either respond politely, letting them know that you're not interested, or don't respond at all. Someone will always get mad either way, so you can't worry about that.

In my mind, no reply, is in effect, a reply. If you know what I mean?

^
this for awhile and then i just didn't respond

Likely a scammer if already deactivated.

99% of the time I reply to all messages (it's the polite thing), but if you want to get rid of them 'nicely and permanently' it usually works if you tell them something along the lines of not seriously looking for anybody until your sex change operation is complete or your wife/husband was just diagnosed with AIDS and your waiting for your test results to come back....

Haha, I guess you're right.

I'm 66 and 99% of the contacts I get are from women in their 20s and 30s. I just write them back and tell them that I'm not interested in children.

Exactly, not replying is telling them you're not interested...and if that doesn't work I invite them over for a double feature of Cannibal Holocaust and Salo, I usually don't hear from them after that.

It's OK to ignore an e-mail you're not interested in, that's just the way it is online. If you feel you must send a message saying no thanks, then do so. No harm either way.

I have the exact opposite problem!

i just dont show interest

I have a stock reply, directing them
to the forums.

"I recommend the forums on here for
getting to know people, Community
in your headings.
I do ALL my chatting there.
Thank you for the email :-)"

I think this covers my azz.
One, I say thank you for the email,
two, the ALL means I do not have to
reply to them again and 3, perhaps
more members join in the forums.

If you REALLY REALLY want to know
about their level of anger management,
plain old "Not interested, but thank
you for the email" can often generate
the most vicious of attacks.
That, is when you know for sure it was
a wise choice.

As a rule, if he's young and not living in the UK, I generally tend to ignore them.

If they are in my preferred age group and not in the UK, I usually send a polite refusal or chat as friends.

If they are in the UK and I’m not interested, I usually send them a polite refusal or chat as friends.

If he is deactivated; then problem solved. I sort out whether they are a scammer and if they are; I block them. If the person is legit; I tell them politely I am not interested.