how come it is so hard to be real- to be upfront?
what are we afraid of exposing?
what happened to the term "gentlemen"?
Am I alone in this question?
After all what is that I or any other man lack to gain a meaningful relationship with a woman?

CASH $$$$$$$$

what u lack i don't know?
but i always try to be a gentleman
however, i never disguise truth we kind words.
sometimes people don;t handle good raw truth, and then they just feel offended.
but that is not my issue anymore.
i just conveyed a message.

Why is it that we men keep making these all-encompassing blanket statements?

Oooooops.............

Not everybody falls into the same category....

Blanket statements keep me warm at night.

Well Robert, I don't know about you, but most men I know here on the site are gentlemanly enough. So you might ask why are some men...?

how come it is so hard to be real- to be upfront?

The doublemindedness here might be shyness. Afterall being real with another could be different than just being real with one's self. What one might say might be taken the wrong way. Being upfront if one has been rejected before might make one less willing to be upfront, again.


what are we afraid of exposing?

The doublemindedness here might be that one might be afraid of exposing one's real feelings and emotions. That hidden self that might not be ready to be exposed. One could have the fear of being shamed for what one really perceives.


what happened to the term "gentlemen"?

The doublemindedness here might ambiguosity. Here the word 'gentle' before the word 'men' might be a contradiction in terms. Social conditioning that real men are not gentle might be construed.

Am I alone in this question?

I wouldn't say you are alone in this question because as you can see others have replied to your question or questions because there are more than one.

After all what is that I or any other man lack to gain a meaningful relationship with a woman?

Wow, what a challenging question, indeed. Maybe the right woman, possibly. There are many men and women in existance.

Robert, I would frst ask that you speak for yourself.

Second, I think that 2 words can answer most of your questions.

INTENT - If your TRUE intent is to be yourself, a gentleman & find a lady. You will accomplish your goals.

INTEGRITY - If you have this, you will never decieve, play games, worry about exposing your true self, be your true self.

If you are questioning these if you have these 2 words in your character; I would suggest you read several self help books &/or join a group. I have dine both in my life, no shame to it.
Best group I found was at the local YWCA, a group for men with abusive habits. Abuse can be in your words & mannerism's, doesn't mean you hit people. was quite a lesson for me.

Robert/anyone ever want to talk about this more? E-mail me.

Robert, Its really both genders...... Most people fear
rejection.... So they think , if I can be what the other wants for now, then I can change them to be what I want. Which doesnt work. We don't always know what we really want either.
In this world there is no perfect, so best to be what we are.
And figure out what works for each of us.

Well my advice...Open up and be yourself regardless...I mean do you really want someone to like you for the person you are or the person you are pretending to be!!!!!!

Me I choose the latter...If the real me isn't good enough then so be it...At least I am true to myself and that's what people need to remember!!!!!!!!

"True to heart. You must be true to your heart. That's when the heavens will part." You know the song. Be tru to yourself mate.