Just basically confused what's going on with this girl. Maybe y'all can help me sort it out?

I'll try and sum it up with cliffs

Cliffs

- Been seeing this girl for about a month now

-When we first met I was sort of interested but not to much and was keeping my options open.

-We each have had some serious issues to deal with lately. And I have helped her through her's and she has helped me greatly through mine

- She's made it clear that she likes me but she's not sure I can be the bf she needs based off where am at in my current situation.

-She has liked me alot more then I liked her and she has put in alot of effort to me.

-But just yesterday I started feeling like maybe she won't be so interested if I keep acting the way I do. Like I don't feel like I've show her enough affection or how I truly feel. Haven't really been able to take her out much and stuff.



I haven't really show her how I felt I guess cause I know Im not the guy yet that I think she needs or wants. She likes me but I feel like Im just dragging her along as I get my life back on track. I have a court case coming up she knows about, and I just got diagnosed with add and its changed me alot figuring that out. And Im in between jobs and I just feel like she knows I can be alot better but Im just not there yet so it sucks not being able to show her. Like last year I was making lots of money, was in school, had a car and now Im builiding bac up but I dont know when I will be back to where I was. So I feel like I havent show her how I really feel cause I know it wont work.

I think you should jump off a cliff.

ignoring the jackass remark...tell her how your feeling: she knows the issues...if the feelings are mutual, then she will see you thru, if not, then accept your new Friend and keep up the progress your making, :) Take care.

I think you need to listen to your own words, full of woe and problems and your final phrase on the post "I know it won't work" You see, you know. Maybe when you feel you have your life more on track and you are not newly diagnosed and going through a court case. She's only known you four weeks, it isn't her job to prop you up. You have to get yourself through this. Goodluck!

That was a poor attempt at ignoring the jackass remark.

The thing is is she was the one who originally suggested we take a break while I sort my situation out. But then I re suggested the idea and she said we can make it work.

But I feel like I can't show her how I really feel yet no matter what she says. And that even though I do like her Im at a point where I can't be happy with what I can offer her and won't be able to show her I how I really feel till Im happy with myself.

So yea I guess I will try and explain this to her. Sucks but I think it's the right thing. I know she would be a good friend but Im not sure that's what I want.

Lol I have major add and over anxiety. I over think most things. Which is why I get myself into these overly complicated situations. I know Im young...

Your right though Im sure.

Either she's really shallow from what you're describing OR you're leading her on. Why? Since when does being a big shot have to do with being with someone and showing affections? If you're not at that place in your life then I think you just have to tell her, or else the fantasy in her head is going to stress you out even more it sounds. Its up to you.

I'm much better at giving advice than acting on it but IMO, continue doing what you're doing i.e. communicating with her and being open about how you're feeling.

I know I'm better at dealing with things if I'm told about them than having to guess what the other person's feeling.

Also, it's a waste of time and energy thinking about what was e.g. what you had in the past. Deal with what is e.g. what you have now.

What I'm about to say is just my opinion here. Take it for what it is worth. Cause it involves a rant. So be warned.

I stopped reading the moment you said that you weren't too interested in her. Why? Cause when a guy says that, it means he just wants to keep a girl within reach in case another chick (whom he could be really into) comes along. I gave you the benefit of the doubt though, so I read on. And, it was nice to see that you two helped each other through issues. But....here is the problem that YOU have. You know her deal already dude. You just don't want to admit it.

Both of you are playing the same game on each other at the same time. Sure. You like things about her. She likes things about you. And yet, both of you feel that someone better is waiting around the corner for the both of ya's. She is filling the void for now. You are doing the same for her. That whole act she gives off by being so indecisive? Well, it shows that she just, and you'll love this..."She isn't that into you". Oh she'll keep ya around as a friend. But that's it.

I don't care if you are in between jobs. If someone likes you, then they will like you for who you are. And since you told her about your situation, and she responded with that you just aren't the right boyfriend for her at this time??? Yeah...I would keep a friendship but that's it. Don't fool yourself into thinking things would be different if you were working.

I've been in a position where I had a career and I was into a girl who played this game on me. They want you around cause they know you'll give them the attention they need. And they always say sweet things about you, but only as friends. When I see it now, I just bring it up that friendship is all it will be and that there is no sense in making something out of nothing. If true feelings, interest, etc is there, then by all means go for it. Live! Life is meant to be about taking chances. But in your case, I just see it as a game between the both of ya's. If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong. But The Goof says call it like ya see it no matter what. Wish ya the best dude. I'm out.

some of this is true Goof - but first why do guys always assume "friends" is a bad thing?

If I am not friends with a guy nuthin' else is happening either....

For me anyway, if I tell a guy I want a friendship to develop that is a complement and pre req (so to speak) to getting naked....

for a man to be Friend Zoned I would tell him that I am not interested in anything more - so don't confuse friendship with being "friend zoned" as they are different things

also I thing BBW is right - the OP is young & should just keep communication and see what develops
IMO u and the OP are both kinda over thinking things...

Sounds to me like you think to god damn much......

You should have an advice column for relationships.

I'd read it.

maybe you need to jerk off more .... i do and its fun i may add