Im confused about what the 'lie' was....??

What doesn't make sense is that she said she told this guy how men just used her when they "need someone to talk to" and now she is hurt because he did not talk to her and tell her about his dad dying.

Maybe he didn't want to be like all the other guys who just used her when they needed someone to talk to so he just kept his mouth shut.

Sorry, but it doesn't make any sense at all. I think its unnecessary drama. But then, some people love drama.

She wants men to "open up to her" but then she complains that they "use her when they want someone to talk to," then she gets hurt if they don't.

Drama.

Well I'm thinking this is true in a lot of ways.

I like the wings in your new photo...u you shrunk some.

The part where he was keeping secrets from me, that's pushing me away. I gave him all the compassion I could. And we were talking all those times. I just don't want to deal with anymore sadness. Besides I think its best I'm out of his since I wasn't really all that close to him to begin with, or else he would have said something. I'm just hurt how it all happened. Probably best for us not to talk. I'm not shutting the door completely.

Yeah, I am. I hate to cry and admit it. But I tell the truth about it. Its not something I am proud of to admit. In fact its a curse. I'm sorry you have a lot more experience in just taking life as it is. Maybe one of these days, I'll live and learn and carry on like you do. I just don't have that confidence right now.

Like I said, some people have to ability to say life's a fact and accept it. I'm not quite there yet. Hence not getting much sleep last night.

Examine your statement above and you will discover that you are expecting to trade your compassion for him telling you ALL.

EXPECTATIONS.



If you wasn't all that close to him to begin with, why would you expect him to bare his soul and tell you everything?

Choosing not to share the details of your life with someone is not "keeping secrets."

Look...the important thing is this.....

always obey the Krupa. He is wise and knows all.

:)

I'm over here first of all. I don't know, maybe this subject is a little too serious for your "take it and go" attitude I keep seeing. I'm sorry you're confused but then again so am I. Never claimed to be a Mary Sue.

I will go out on limb and say I sure as hell don't like drama. I try to avoid it as there's way too much stress in the world as is. I was surprised when you edited your post, you kept that part in.

Alright, like I said, if my "complaining" as you say bothers you so much, probably best to stay outta the topic since that is just outright judging. I'm coming here to make sense of all this, even I don't get it. Imagine trying to type out your thoughts, this is how I feel. I just know I didn't like that my ex lied me since I believed him the other times. That to me is not a friend. That's all I said.

Probably. I don't think its that extreme though. Some people aren't so open, but about something like this, I guess its hard for you to understand since you weren't me and didn't know his father to assume this. But it could be a possibility. But damn, I didn't hold a knife to his throat to tell me ALL.

So what is it then? Fear? I don't know, I'm just speculating like the rest of the world does.

Scene between us:

"How's your dad?" (direct ?)
"Oh, he's doing OK. He's stable but fighting." (vague answer)

Its tough to define this.

Yeah...so much for going with my gut.

Thanks

yes, maybe just table talking for now is wise if you aren't comfortable. Though if he is calling, it sounds like he is trying to be closer. If you want to get closer to a man talking with him is a good way. I think maybe it's OK to take a breather to decide if you want to get closer to him.


But honestly, though I understand that you are hurt, it does sound like he is trying...I guess I don't understand how if you weren't that close to begin with, this is afecting you as it is.

He's only calling me because I am not answering. Last night he seemed so far away. I didn't want to be around it cuz I knew it wasn't good. I'm just putting some space in between us.

I think I said I didn't feel we were all that close to begin with because I was still in shock of what he did. How I was treated last night. Like a complete stranger. I've been called that before but to be treated like one? Not the greatest feeling. I think it was just all those past feelings I had for him, but never really talked about. When its good, it was so good. When it was bad, that was last night. Things like that. I think we both have a lot of issues to sift through before we start talking again. He needs time to deal with whatever he's dealing with and I don't need to involve myself so much. I guess I get that way when I care for people. They tell me to back off. Been told that too. So this is what I'm doing.

well you are obviously a caring person. I wonder if part of your confusion is that you do care but feel conflicted about showing that now. So seeming "uncaring" is not typically like you - therefore an internal conflict.... IDK (obviously) if he wants you to back off, but what is important is that you trust YOU. If you think that is what you need than it prolly is best.

What other people have told you in the past, however, may or may not apply to this situation - just for some perspective

time - it's an amazing remedy - and gives u a chance to understand things that are not apparent now.

Let me just say,,some PEOPLE,,both men and women,,when dealing with a Mom or Dad who is on their death bed,,HAVE THAT,,so much on their minds THAT NOTHING ELSE CAN BE THOUGHT ABOUT?
NOTHING?
Now,,IF,,both of you were in close talks about him,(HIS DAD) and he was was calling YOU and letting you know all that was going on,,everyday,,and THEN,,lied to YOU about his dad passing away,
Thats just something he done,,because HE FELT THAT BEST TO DO AT THAT TIME?
It could have been because he didn't want or need YOUR trauma's of tears,,to have with him,,at THAT TIME? because THAT will and does happen with some people?
Like,,HE might of thought THAT BEST,,to tell you in PERSON,,NOT OVER A PHONE LINE?
He may have been just so much,,beside his thoughts(lost) that he just babbled out,,whatever as to get off the phone.?
NOW,,let me just add here my own thoughts,,
When anyone,who you really care about and call them a friend..OK?
And THEY lose one of their parents to death.
The LAST THING YOU SHOULD BE GIVING "ANY" THOUGHTS TO,,is ANY,,small or short phone conversations with THEM,,at THAT TIME IN THEIR LIVES TO BE IN?
Friends,,over-look,,what may of been thought,,as ANY miss-said truths or lies or ANYTHING,,,And THEY WAIT,,until,,proper time has been given,,so that THEY,,can COLLECT THEIR RIGHT MINDS,,and THEN,SEE WHAT THEY would THEN,,like to tell you happen,,and what and when the Funeral is going to take place? And Allow them to invite or bring up YOUR ATTENDING IT WITH THEM,,or ALONE,,and soon,,,But,,at a TIME of LOSS,,for ANY ONE TO HAVE HAPPEN,,IS THE POOREST TIME TO EVER HOLD "THEM" TO THEIR WORDS OR ACTIONS?
just saying?

obviously, you need to just put aside your own thoughts, hopes, aspirations and dreams and just take my word as gospel.

Duh

:)

hehehehehehe

¨hug¨

Awwww, love I am soooo sorry you are hurting. I wish we could take your pain away, but these are growing pains and lessons learned. Hope your heart mends quickly......hugs