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| Topic: It Hurts | |
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I do feel bad for you Doll.
Right got nothing to do with it......I knew I was right when I was trying to warn ya but, puppies don't ever listen.... I truly feel bad that you are hurting. Ain't you fault you are young. We all been there. I would give you more advice but, you are gonna learn schitt the hard way.....same way I learned it. So suck it up soldier........life don't get no easier now that we can't sugar coat it for you. |
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I just can't be a part of someone's life when they lied to me about something so big. I was so close to his dad too. I deserved to know the truth. I can't stand being pushed away. I've talked to this guy face to face about it, about how men just use me when they need someone to talk to, now I just don't know how to be. I wish I could turn myself off from breaking but last night I avoided his calls and couldn't sleep. I hate this pattern. I hate trusting people. All they do is use you in their big game. Im confused about what the 'lie' was....?? What doesn't make sense is that she said she told this guy how men just used her when they "need someone to talk to" and now she is hurt because he did not talk to her and tell her about his dad dying. Maybe he didn't want to be like all the other guys who just used her when they needed someone to talk to so he just kept his mouth shut. Sorry, but it doesn't make any sense at all. I think its unnecessary drama. But then, some people love drama. She wants men to "open up to her" but then she complains that they "use her when they want someone to talk to," then she gets hurt if they don't. Drama.  I'm over here first of all. I don't know, maybe this subject is a little too serious for your "take it and go" attitude I keep seeing. I'm sorry you're confused but then again so am I. Never claimed to be a Mary Sue. I will go out on limb and say I sure as hell don't like drama. I try to avoid it as there's way too much stress in the world as is. I was surprised when you edited your post, you kept that part in. Alright, like I said, if my "complaining" as you say bothers you so much, probably best to stay outta the topic since that is just outright judging. I'm coming here to make sense of all this, even I don't get it. Imagine trying to type out your thoughts, this is how I feel. I just know I didn't like that my ex lied me since I believed him the other times. That to me is not a friend. That's all I said. I am not judging, I am evaluating your agenda in a logical manner. And your complaining certainly doesn't bother me, you were not complaining to me. You yourself mentioned that you complained to your X that "most men just use you when they need someone to talk to." Is that true? Do men use you when they need someone to talk to?" (Is that a not some kind of complaint?)  And didn't you get hurt because your X did not tell you that his dad had died? (Wouldn't THAT have been him using you because he needed someone to talk to?) Oh well. Its for you to figure out and really not my business. I'm sorry if I am not responding the way you expect or want. |
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¨hug¨  Thanks :) |
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Alright....*sigh* Now, everybody said I told you so and this is my fault entirely. I just found out today my ex lost his father 2 weeks ago. Now, I understand he was going through a rough time but I hung out with this guy trying to get his mind off his dad being sick. He told me he was getting better. I'm not completely upset he didn't tell me. I guess its true that not everyone in my life opens to me but this isn't the reason I was so broken the second he told me this. I was deeply upset that he lied to me when we were talking each time. When I asked him about it, he said "I was sure I told you." Apparently I was the only one who didn't know. When I said no, he goes "well I told a lot of people" All I could say was "well I'm not in life so I understand." He didn't say anything back. I just feel like this isn't worth it to thread on anymore. I felt so used and hurt like I've never been before. My heart should not be breaking, but it is, and I am SO tired of falling prey to it every time.  This is going to be a long night ahead of me... Awwww, love I am soooo sorry you are hurting. I wish we could take your pain away, but these are growing pains and lessons learned. Hope your heart mends quickly......hugs I think its ok. I guess its something I needed to go through, hopefully be wiser next time around. Thanks *hugs* You're really kind. :) |
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I do feel bad for you Doll. Right got nothing to do with it......I knew I was right when I was trying to warn ya but, puppies don't ever listen.... I truly feel bad that you are hurting. Ain't you fault you are young. We all been there. I would give you more advice but, you are gonna learn schitt the hard way.....same way I learned it. So suck it up soldier........life don't get no easier now that we can't sugar coat it for you. I feel like bird crap for not listening to you, or anyone who told me going into this would set myself up for future pain. I guess I really didn't know either way. Being my crazy stubborn self, guess doesn't get me anywhere but what I deserve. I could sit here and make up excuse after excuse but I've wasted enough time thinking about things too much. Life is crazy man. I truly feel like its raining schitt when I know I got my eyes open in slits. |
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I just can't be a part of someone's life when they lied to me about something so big. I was so close to his dad too. I deserved to know the truth. I can't stand being pushed away. I've talked to this guy face to face about it, about how men just use me when they need someone to talk to, now I just don't know how to be. I wish I could turn myself off from breaking but last night I avoided his calls and couldn't sleep. I hate this pattern. I hate trusting people. All they do is use you in their big game. Im confused about what the 'lie' was....?? What doesn't make sense is that she said she told this guy how men just used her when they "need someone to talk to" and now she is hurt because he did not talk to her and tell her about his dad dying. Maybe he didn't want to be like all the other guys who just used her when they needed someone to talk to so he just kept his mouth shut. Sorry, but it doesn't make any sense at all. I think its unnecessary drama. But then, some people love drama. She wants men to "open up to her" but then she complains that they "use her when they want someone to talk to," then she gets hurt if they don't. Drama. I'm over here first of all. I don't know, maybe this subject is a little too serious for your "take it and go" attitude I keep seeing. I'm sorry you're confused but then again so am I. Never claimed to be a Mary Sue. I will go out on limb and say I sure as hell don't like drama. I try to avoid it as there's way too much stress in the world as is. I was surprised when you edited your post, you kept that part in. Alright, like I said, if my "complaining" as you say bothers you so much, probably best to stay outta the topic since that is just outright judging. I'm coming here to make sense of all this, even I don't get it. Imagine trying to type out your thoughts, this is how I feel. I just know I didn't like that my ex lied me since I believed him the other times. That to me is not a friend. That's all I said. I am not judging, I am evaluating your agenda in a logical manner. And your complaining certainly doesn't bother me, you were not complaining to me. You yourself mentioned that you complained to your X that "most men just use you when they need someone to talk to." Is that true? Do men use you when they need someone to talk to?" (Is that a not some kind of complaint?) And didn't you get hurt because your X did not tell you that his dad had died? (Wouldn't THAT have been him using you because he needed someone to talk to?) Oh well. Its for you to figure out and really not my business. I'm sorry if I am not responding the way you expect or want. Agenda huh? You make it seem like I had some of ruse in posting this. LOL Where do you get that idea? Goodness, either you're assuming I'm doing this for attention OR you're not using the right words. SAY what you mean. Again with complaining horse dong. OK, YOU think I'm complaining. I'm just explaining my side of it. I hardly think any of what I was trying to do here was to whine and complain about men. I was really distraught yesterday. I think the way you're responding to me is a little insensitive. But by all means, do what you gotta do. But I appreciate you NOT throwing my quotes back at me as to prove a point on your side, since its obvious I don't see it. |
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It'll be ok trust us. We've all been there one time or another and you'll pull though it. Sorry it makes you feel bad, but try not to dwell on it to much.
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I do feel bad for you Doll. Right got nothing to do with it......I knew I was right when I was trying to warn ya but, puppies don't ever listen.... I truly feel bad that you are hurting. Ain't you fault you are young. We all been there. I would give you more advice but, you are gonna learn schitt the hard way.....same way I learned it. So suck it up soldier........life don't get no easier now that we can't sugar coat it for you. I feel like bird crap for not listening to you, or anyone who told me going into this would set myself up for future pain. I guess I really didn't know either way. Being my crazy stubborn self, guess doesn't get me anywhere but what I deserve. I could sit here and make up excuse after excuse but I've wasted enough time thinking about things too much. Life is crazy man. I truly feel like its raining schitt when I know I got my eyes open in slits. You're not the only one. I remember when I came on sobbing about my ex,and Krupa gave me the same fatherly advice. I didn't listen at first either. |
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When I was very young I too was very sensitive and easily hurt by just about everything and I eventually learned that was not the way to go through life. Being hurt or afraid is a miserable way to live. Its just something that you learn with experience. I'm certainly not immune to being hurt, even at the crusty old age of 62, but it would take a lot and it would have to come from someone I was very close to.
But life is getting shorter and shorter for me, and I've decided that I will spend more time being happy and following my bliss and less time being hurt or sad or offended by other people because they did not live up to my expectations. In other words, I avoid the drama and just keep moving forward with my plans. If that is not possible, I will have a good cry alone in my room and start a new and happy day tomorrow. Life is short. Be happy. |
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When I was very young I too was very sensitive and easily hurt by just about everything and I eventually learned that was not the way to go through life. Being hurt or afraid is a miserable way to live. Its just something that you learn with experience. I'm certainly not immune to being hurt, even at the crusty old age of 62, but it would take a lot and it would have to come from someone I was very close to. But life is getting shorter and shorter for me, and I've decided that I will spend more time being happy and following my bliss and less time being hurt or sad or offended by other people because they did not live up to my expectations. In other words, I avoid the drama and just keep moving forward with my plans. If that is not possible, I will have a good cry alone in my room and start a new and happy day tomorrow. Life is short. Be happy. Very wise words, indeed. I have some work to do...  |
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Sometimes people say and do things because they are trying to protect us, whether or not that's what we want.
My grandfather was in the hospital for a week before anyone told me. The whole family knew and went to see him. The morning he was being discharged, my Dad phoned me to tell me that and tat he'd be going home that day. Then he had to phone me again and tell me that my grandfather died that afternoon. Ouch. That made the grieving process SO much worse, and guilt on my Dad's part. We had to have some long chats about not trying to protect me. That was hard for him. Second one, I found out that my step- grandmother had passed away from reading about it in an Easter card at my other grandfather's house - four months after the fact. They were divorced and estranged, so there was family drama, there. But, again, the whole family knew, except me. When people grieve they do strange and uncharacteristic things. I also know being outright lied to sucks. Keeping information from people is effectively that. Hopefully you will find a way to grieve for his dad, and time to heal. My thoughts are with you. |
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When I was very young I too was very sensitive and easily hurt by just about everything and I eventually learned that was not the way to go through life. Being hurt or afraid is a miserable way to live. Its just something that you learn with experience. I'm certainly not immune to being hurt, even at the crusty old age of 62, but it would take a lot and it would have to come from someone I was very close to. But life is getting shorter and shorter for me, and I've decided that I will spend more time being happy and following my bliss and less time being hurt or sad or offended by other people because they did not live up to my expectations. In other words, I avoid the drama and just keep moving forward with my plans. If that is not possible, I will have a good cry alone in my room and start a new and happy day tomorrow. Life is short. Be happy. That's a Piscean trait......something we all learn |
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When I was very young I too was very sensitive and easily hurt by just about everything and I eventually learned that was not the way to go through life. Being hurt or afraid is a miserable way to live. Its just something that you learn with experience. I'm certainly not immune to being hurt, even at the crusty old age of 62, but it would take a lot and it would have to come from someone I was very close to. But life is getting shorter and shorter for me, and I've decided that I will spend more time being happy and following my bliss and less time being hurt or sad or offended by other people because they did not live up to my expectations. In other words, I avoid the drama and just keep moving forward with my plans. If that is not possible, I will have a good cry alone in my room and start a new and happy day tomorrow. Life is short. Be happy. That's a Piscean trait......something we all learn Interesting, I am Pisces. But everyone should learn it I think. |
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When I was very young I too was very sensitive and easily hurt by just about everything and I eventually learned that was not the way to go through life. Being hurt or afraid is a miserable way to live. Its just something that you learn with experience. I'm certainly not immune to being hurt, even at the crusty old age of 62, but it would take a lot and it would have to come from someone I was very close to. But life is getting shorter and shorter for me, and I've decided that I will spend more time being happy and following my bliss and less time being hurt or sad or offended by other people because they did not live up to my expectations. In other words, I avoid the drama and just keep moving forward with my plans. If that is not possible, I will have a good cry alone in my room and start a new and happy day tomorrow. Life is short. Be happy. Yeah I agree with this. Like I said, this is all I know, I'd like to think its not forever. I know its not. It is. I wasted a lot of time being so afraid of life. I think for the first time I'm seeing it and what its doing to me. I stand up for myself now, speak out when I get hurt, things are changing. But I feel all this, like you said comes with experience and time. Just live. Smile, do exactly what you set out to do and ta hell with anyone who doesn't support it. Life could feel shorter or longer. Most of the time its too short. I think its the mistakes that we make that make it seem so wastrel sometimes and to me, that's all I think about. Am I going to be good enough? I think that's one of the big mysterious in my life. Are we ever good enough? I definitely hate being so sad. I get sad so easily, not something to celebrate. Today I composed myself when I found out about my laptop, took a deep breath and relaxed. Sometimes its all it takes. Just the little things to change your mood. Cause who knows how long someone can sink in that sad swamp? Don't care to know. |
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Sometimes people say and do things because they are trying to protect us, whether or not that's what we want. My grandfather was in the hospital for a week before anyone told me. The whole family knew and went to see him. The morning he was being discharged, my Dad phoned me to tell me that and tat he'd be going home that day. Then he had to phone me again and tell me that my grandfather died that afternoon. Ouch. That made the grieving process SO much worse, and guilt on my Dad's part. We had to have some long chats about not trying to protect me. That was hard for him. Second one, I found out that my step- grandmother had passed away from reading about it in an Easter card at my other grandfather's house - four months after the fact. They were divorced and estranged, so there was family drama, there. But, again, the whole family knew, except me. When people grieve they do strange and uncharacteristic things. I also know being outright lied to sucks. Keeping information from people is effectively that. Hopefully you will find a way to grieve for his dad, and time to heal. My thoughts are with you. I am sorry to hear this. Well, you have some iota how I'm feeling. I mean, I guess I panicked slightly. I think I know why he did tell me, having given it some rational thought. I understand it. I accept the reasons. Having said that I think hearing his voice, being around him now, probably not the best thing for me to do. Just doesn't feel right. You don't get over and move on from something like this in 2 weeks. I don't think anyone can "move on" the same way after they lose a family member. When my Nan passed away, I was completely stoic. I didn't go outside, stayed in bed most of the time and shut myself off. I wrote constantly though. I didn't say how I really felt when my sister tried talking about it with me. The truth was that I knew her more than anyone, even my own father did, her son. I was the closest to her and I couldn't find words how I dealt with it. But having been through that I understand now why he didn't tell me. |
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Could you explain this better please? His dad died and you're making it about you? What am I missing?
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