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| Topic: will this guilt ever go away ? | |
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So basically one night in July 2010 my sister was having a few people around at the house for drinks.
It was a last minute thing so as soon as I heard about it I started to text around and invite people, what's a few more people I thought. Any ways I had a text a few close friends, and they decided they'd come out to mine. On the way out to my house they decided to do a u-turn and collect someone else. I didn't mind I said bring who you like the more the merrier. Thing is on the way there, they were ran off the road. One of them died and the other 3 badly injured. It's always on my mind! Why did I text them? Was it my fault? If I hadn't of texted they would have just gone home! I'm still really close to the other 3, they have never said a bad word to me. But it seems like every other week we are all constantly reminded of that awful night, you see the guy that caused the accident is being done for death by dangerous driving and DAMN they are dragging out the court case. While the other 3 talk to me about this I just sit there, numb to the core, unable for words. |
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So basically one night in July 2010 my sister was having a few people around at the house for drinks. It was a last minute thing so as soon as I heard about it I started to text around and invite people, what's a few more people I thought. Any ways I had a text a few close friends, and they decided they'd come out to mine. On the way out to my house they decided to do a u-turn and collect someone else. I didn't mind I said bring who you like the more the merrier. Thing is on the way there, they were ran off the road. One of them died and the other 3 badly injured. It's always on my mind! Why did I text them? Was it my fault? If I hadn't of texted they would have just gone home! I'm still really close to the other 3, they have never said a bad word to me. But it seems like every other week we are all constantly reminded of that awful night, you see the guy that caused the accident is being done for death by dangerous driving and DAMN they are dragging out the court case. While the other 3 talk to me about this I just sit there, numb to the core, unable for words. 
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the mental anguish can be worse than physical, give it some time and than express your feelings talking will always help.
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the mental anguish can be worse than physical, give it some time and than express your feelings talking will always help. Also if you didnt feel guilt than you should be worried.
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So basically one night in July 2010 my sister was having a few people around at the house for drinks. It was a last minute thing so as soon as I heard about it I started to text around and invite people, what's a few more people I thought. Any ways I had a text a few close friends, and they decided they'd come out to mine. On the way out to my house they decided to do a u-turn and collect someone else. I didn't mind I said bring who you like the more the merrier. Thing is on the way there, they were ran off the road. One of them died and the other 3 badly injured. It's always on my mind! Why did I text them? Was it my fault? If I hadn't of texted they would have just gone home! I'm still really close to the other 3, they have never said a bad word to me. But it seems like every other week we are all constantly reminded of that awful night, you see the guy that caused the accident is being done for death by dangerous driving and DAMN they are dragging out the court case. While the other 3 talk to me about this I just sit there, numb to the core, unable for words.
I should believe this I know that, I've also said this to the girl that was driving the car. For her yes this is true as it was proven during forensic investigation but me on the other hand...  Thank you for your comment though
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Edited by
Kleisto
on
Fri 01/20/12 04:46 AM
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"God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." We can't always tell the future. No sense in punishing yourself for creating a situation you didn't know was going to happen. Don't place that burden on yourself, it isn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. (hugs)
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guilt is a feeling some people get over something that they have done and regretdoing. you think you inadvertently caused the accident but you had absolutely no control over any of the happenings before, during, or after the accident. the grieving process is different for everyone, and you are suffering because you are adding your friends grief to your own. heal thyself and then you can console your friends
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the mental anguish can be worse than physical, give it some time and than express your feelings talking will always help. Also if you didnt feel guilt than you should be worried. I can't really talk to anyone. I mentioned it once or twice back when it happened but all I got was that sad look, I guess people don't know what to say. I don't want to say anything to those that were involved, that would just be adding fuel to the fire, the last thing they need is more worry on their mind especially while the court case is still going on. Thanks for taking the time to comment
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If they were coming to see you as a surprise, would you feel the same. Life happens, we ALL take risks everytime we get out of bed. Part of the THRILL of life. KEEP LIVING.
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If they were coming to see you as a surprise, would you feel the same. Life happens, we ALL take risks everytime we get out of bed. Part of the THRILL of life. KEEP LIVING. nice 
(((oldsage))) |
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If they were coming to see you as a surprise, would you feel the same. Life happens, we ALL take risks everytime we get out of bed. Part of the THRILL of life. KEEP LIVING. nice
(((oldsage))) I probably would feel the same but not as much. I get what you mean.. I live a great life. I'm the life and soul at a party. If you met me you would never think that I carry this black cloud. The internet is a wonderful thing. What a weight lifted to actually tell people about this. Thank you for your thoughts
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"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." We can't always tell the future. No sense in punishing yourself for creating a situation you didn't know was going to happen. Don't place that burden on yourself, it isn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. (hugs)
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Don't do this to yourself. Life is too short for "if only's", and such. You weren't to know it was about to happen. I understand the feeling guilty about it, but it really isn't your fault. You need to give yourself permission to NOT feel guilty about it. You're worth more than that :)
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Don't do this to yourself. Life is too short for "if only's", and such. You weren't to know it was about to happen. I understand the feeling guilty about it, but it really isn't your fault. You need to give yourself permission to NOT feel guilty about it. You're worth more than that :) Believe me I am trying. . Love & Light
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There is a power greater than you
who decides who lives and dies. This was NOT your doing. I'm sorry for your loss and grief.
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Sorry for your loss!
 I agree with all who posted.
It was not you fault!!!!! I totaly understand feeling guilty though. But you must come to turms with this.Talk to your friends!You may find that they will be the only ones that can ease your mind! J.M.O. Hugs
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Wolfchic and Ladyliz;
Thank you, I appreciate your comments more than you could possibly know. I am taking it all on board. I can only hope that in the future this dark cloud will fade.
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Life is for living not the what if's of the past....
It is sad what happen but....you can't keep going back to that time wondering what if. You were not at the wheel of either car who knows if it could have been prevented or how... There comes a time we just have to realize it happen and there was nothing that you could have done to prevent it.... I mean now if they had not turned around would it still have happened? Who knows..... Just be grateful for the ones that lived and rejoice within the memories of the one no longer here.....
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Wolfchic and Ladyliz; Thank you, I appreciate your comments more than you could possibly know. I am taking it all on board. I can only hope that in the future this dark cloud will fade.
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So basically one night in July 2010 my sister was having a few people around at the house for drinks. It was a last minute thing so as soon as I heard about it I started to text around and invite people, what's a few more people I thought. Any ways I had a text a few close friends, and they decided they'd come out to mine. On the way out to my house they decided to do a u-turn and collect someone else. I didn't mind I said bring who you like the more the merrier. Thing is on the way there, they were ran off the road. One of them died and the other 3 badly injured. It's always on my mind! Why did I text them? Was it my fault? If I hadn't of texted they would have just gone home! I'm still really close to the other 3, they have never said a bad word to me. But it seems like every other week we are all constantly reminded of that awful night, you see the guy that caused the accident is being done for death by dangerous driving and DAMN they are dragging out the court case. While the other 3 talk to me about this I just sit there, numb to the core, unable for words. What you are experiencing is called Survivor's Guilt. A grief councilor can help you with this. Sorry for your pain.
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