This one is called...

"The Anniversary Gift"

Ralph was married to a wife that constantly complained and always wanted gifts. Well, this time she expected a gift, it was because Ralph had forgotten in was their anniversary.

So was so irate, she told him he had to find her an anniversary present before she woke up in the morning and even chimed, 'It better go 0-200 is less than 60 seconds, too!'.

Ralph shook his head and made sure he'd wake up extra early so he could do just that. He even left for work an hour earlier than normal.

When his wife woke up the next morning, she peered out the window and saw a small flat box wrapped neatly sitting in the driveway. She tilted her head and walked out to get it.

As she came back inside she began to mumble to herself as she shook it and mumbled,

'Whatever this is, it better go from 0-200 in 60 seconds.'

When she opened it she found a brand new bathroom scale.

Needless to say, Ralph never came home....

LMAO

Priceless

OH HELL NO. Way to go Ralphie.

And there I thought it was going to be a new broom for her to ride her being such a "Super Witch Biotch".