I've talked to some of the people on the NAMI forums but have had little luck in finding alternatives to pharmaceutical medications for this, and no success in anything that I did find. I got back from my psychiatrist about an hour ago, and she reduced my mood stabilizer/anti seizure medication (depakote) after I told her that I broke my nice phone after throwing it on the floor in a fit of rage. I told her that the racing/intrusive thoughts are back, but she did not do anything with the antipsychotics that I'm taking.

I'm looking for a new psychiatrist as we speak (or type, rather). I hate it when people don't listen to me, and I'm not going to continue to see her if what I tell her about my mind just goes in one ear and out the other.

I recently had a SPECT imaging scan done of my brain, which revealed what I and my family had long suspected; a diagnosis of Schizoaffective disorder of the Bi-Polar type. It is a permanent and degenerative condition which comes with the features of Schizophrenia and Bi-Polar Disorder. The only way I've discovered thus far to keep the condition under control (not have any hallucinations and maintain a stable mood) is with medication. However, the medication makes me fatigued to the point of sleeping more than 12 hours a day and generally in a constant brain fog thicker than cotton candy.

This is a problem because for the past 6 years, I have been studying and practicing Photography. In a fit of Mania I sold almost all of my camera equipment on eBay for $750 which would normally sell for about $1500 on fair value basis. I've been kicking myself ever since; but now that I have a concrete diagnosis, I'm really hating not only myself, but my situation. I either take the medication and keep myself from moving forward in life (I'd have to pretty much be taken care of as far as I know) or refuse to take the medication and possibly get in a whole heap of trouble over the long haul while enjoying the creativity that I ordinarily would be.

I don't know what to do, and my psychiatrist doesn't know what to do either. Before we got the diagnosis, everyone around me thought that it was just depression, which is far easier to manage. But after we found out what the problem really was, nobody seemed to know where to go or how to take care of anything. I know I sure don't.

If anyone knows anything that might help or any resources I can take advantage of, I would be eternally grateful. I'm at wits end and it's starting to affect the people around me as well as my thoughts.

In this instance I would advise to do whatever makes you happy whenever it makes you happy.

I recently had a SPECT imaging scan done of my brain, which revealed what I and my family had long suspected; a diagnosis of Schizoaffective disorder of the Bi-Polar type. It is a permanent and degenerative condition which comes with the features of Schizophrenia and Bi-Polar Disorder. The only way I've discovered thus far to keep the condition under control (not have any hallucinations and maintain a stable mood) is with medication. However, the medication makes me fatigued to the point of sleeping more than 12 hours a day and generally in a constant brain fog thicker than cotton candy.

This is a problem because for the past 6 years, I have been studying and practicing Photography. In a fit of Mania I sold almost all of my camera equipment on eBay for $750 which would normally sell for about $1500 on fair value basis. I've been kicking myself ever since; but now that I have a concrete diagnosis, I'm really hating not only myself, but my situation. I either take the medication and keep myself from moving forward in life (I'd have to pretty much be taken care of as far as I know) or refuse to take the medication and possibly get in a whole heap of trouble over the long haul while enjoying the creativity that I ordinarily would be.

I don't know what to do, and my psychiatrist doesn't know what to do either. Before we got the diagnosis, everyone around me thought that it was just depression, which is far easier to manage. But after we found out what the problem really was, nobody seemed to know where to go or how to take care of anything. I know I sure don't.

If anyone knows anything that might help or any resources I can take advantage of, I would be eternally grateful. I'm at wits end and it's starting to affect the people around me as well as my thoughts.

I recently had a SPECT imaging scan done of my brain, which revealed what I and my family had long suspected; a diagnosis of Schizoaffective disorder of the Bi-Polar type. It is a permanent and degenerative condition which comes with the features of Schizophrenia and Bi-Polar Disorder. The only way I've discovered thus far to keep the condition under control (not have any hallucinations and maintain a stable mood) is with medication. However, the medication makes me fatigued to the point of sleeping more than 12 hours a day and generally in a constant brain fog thicker than cotton candy.

This is a problem because for the past 6 years, I have been studying and practicing Photography. In a fit of Mania I sold almost all of my camera equipment on eBay for $750 which would normally sell for about $1500 on fair value basis. I've been kicking myself ever since; but now that I have a concrete diagnosis, I'm really hating not only myself, but my situation. I either take the medication and keep myself from moving forward in life (I'd have to pretty much be taken care of as far as I know) or refuse to take the medication and possibly get in a whole heap of trouble over the long haul while enjoying the creativity that I ordinarily would be.

I don't know what to do, and my psychiatrist doesn't know what to do either. Before we got the diagnosis, everyone around me thought that it was just depression, which is far easier to manage. But after we found out what the problem really was, nobody seemed to know where to go or how to take care of anything. I know I sure don't.

If anyone knows anything that might help or any resources I can take advantage of, I would be eternally grateful. I'm at wits end and it's starting to affect the people around me as well as my thoughts.

Hi Canon,

I spend the majority of my time manic. I have all sorts of paradoxical effects to medication. Some I metabolize too strongly and some do nothing. I have been doing this since 1996.

What has helped me the most is years and years of therapy to learn coping skills.

I have learned to recognize irrational thoughts and combat them. It's like learning a martial art. Which great practice, you will do it on auto pilot when fighting for your life.

I do not actually get suicidal. I get what they call suicidal idealization which mean I think about it and think I want to die but would never ever act on it.

Using my skill set, I am not to tell myself that it's not reality. That I am doing what they call catastrophicizing (sp). Meaning blowing bad things out of proportion. I am able to realize that these thoughts WILL pass, and I rationalize through them down to telling myself of the repercussions my harming myself would have on my loved ones, pets, etc.

I have also learned to recognize and not make what are called "unilateral" decisions like you did with the cameras. Meaning I do not make major decisions that can affect things without consulting someone who I trust to be rational. Before I learned what that was called, I didn't understand why I kept making so many unrelated mistakes that angered people. When I learned the term, I became quickly able to recognize, "Hey in doing this, I impact others. I need to ask someone for a trusted opinion".

Remember medication can only do so much. You have to fight the good fight as well.

Good luck and god bless,

Terri

CS, I'm sorry to hear this. I worry about advice like Emo's because it seems to me it could send you off the rails

Schizoaffective disorder sucks. You should experiment with psychiatrists AND psychologists. Psychologists can't directly prescribe you medication and may be able to help you with the emotional aspects that you may be dealing with that influence your condition or are a result of the medications the other doctors put you on.

NAMI can be helpful but it won't solve anything.

Try to find support groups and people going through the same thing, but don't exclusively surround yourselves by people who are suffering.

I don't know, man. To be honest - the people I've known that have been classified schizoaffective never led very peaceful lives.

In this instance I would advise to do whatever makes you happy whenever it makes you happy. It may destroy you. It may bring you some joy. Either way, misery and happiness are both temporary.