I think it all depends on what YOU want, and what YOU are comfortable with.

For instance, I don't want to date older women because of my own age. In a year or two, that might change for the very same reason. I have an age range I am comfortable with, and it has a lot to do with where I am in my own life. For me to go outside that range means that someone has to really impress me....to the point where I will make an exception to the rule. For my own current goals (children), I want a younger woman, preferably in her 30s....but have gone much younger than that as an exception.

When it comes right down to it, never pass up someone who is a great match for you just because of age (assuming both are adults, mind you). That's when you need to bite the bullet, and resolve your own comfort issues.

For some people, age will always be a factor in compatibility. That's not a comfort issue. That's just a matter of maturity vs. immaturity. Some want a stable long term relationship. Others just want to have fun. Others still want something in-between, so they factor age into the level of risk they are willing to accept.

More often than not, it doesn't matter what others think. How many times have you known someone who married someone else despite warnings or disapproval from family and friends?

I know I've sure seen it plenty of times, and most often they made the right decision.

I do like and appreciate your answer - oddly enough I can relate. I had a much younger boyfriend who stressed about my age because I will not be having any more children.....even tho we were great together, it was an issue for him.

I pointed out to him that he could fall in love with a 25 yo tomorrow who is barren, or who does not want kids....older women are not the only women who are not having children

and tho he understood the logic...it remained an issue -I finally broke it off feeling he'd never be happy...and I will not date a younger man unless he already has children and has that out of his system.

I have met a few younger guys with a compatible maturity level - but whether that would carry over into intimacy in a relationship is another question....


but I can say the same of some of the older guys in my age range too...it is the person - not their age (of course discussing legal adults here)

Good for you!

Even though it sucks that you had to do it, the truth is that he was the one with the issue, not you. He dropped the ball. You were the one left in limbo. It's pretty obvious he would have ended it eventually, but why should you put your life on hold until he does?

You did the right thing - both for yourself and him.


In a few more years, if I don't have kids yet, I am unlikely to want children of my own. Adoption is always an option at that point. In fact, adopting an older child rather than having a baby will help close the generation gap, which may be better for me. Plus it could change a child's life for the better. I'm not saying there might not be issues with an adopted child, but there are positives that are easily overlooked.

Or, I may be so set in my ways that I'll decide I no longer want any children at all.

Single and never married at age 40 is a time when I have to decide these issues because my comfort zone is likely to change over the next five years. Most of my friends are either 20 years older than me or 10 - 15 years younger than me. I foresee a social shift coming as feel less comfortable around twenty-somethings because of my own age. My social circle will be 30 - 60, rather than 20 - 50 or 25 - 55 like it has been in the past. So if I am still single in 5 years, I'm going to want a partner that also feels more comfortable within that social range.

I haven't really given as much thought to it as it sounds. It's just a fact....an observation....that I've come to accept. It just feels right. Especially since I've noticed that I've made much fewer long term friends under age 25 over the past two years compared to the years prior. If that's where the flow is taking me, and I'm comfortable with it, there's no reason to fight it.

the reason that you can't date younger men is because you must date older men. when you date younger men you take yourself out of the dating pool for us older men who must have plenty of younger women to date. quite simple really. i like these easy questions.

I think i'll become a cougar.

Hmmm maybe you should try some one older some time.

Lol. Sure, if there even IS any guy older guy out there wanting to date me. As of yet, there aren't any. lol. If you say so, but no-one older than me wants me. Saying that, age is age. It really shouldn't be an issue.

My mom is always telling me to date older guys. Because they are more stable and mature. But for whatever I am way more attracted to guys that are younger than me, or of the same age. A part of me figures that if I can be young and mature than someone else is likely to be also. I have had serious issues with a few of them but on a whole they aren't that bad; just remember that they usually don't look at problems as in depth as you do

... and when older men date younger women the older women make fun of them and are upset. So where are the older ladies comments about older women dating younger men?????

The silence is deafening.

We do it all the time...Like everyone keeps saying consenting adults, compatible maturity level, age is just a number....chemistry is chemistry...

true.

And hence the term "cougar" was born....to offset "the silver fox".

Hmmm maybe its where you live,i would date you with out a problem at all but of cource you may find me way to old and ugly.

I am a bit younger than my woman....Who cares?


Love doesn't care about age. Love is about the right souls wanting to be with each other. Anyone who says that love is based on age....got no real clue on what real love actually is.

Age has zero to do with love.

That sounds as if you're making up excuses for me to reject you. This shows me you're feeling slightly unconfident within, as you've just said negative stuff about why i MIGHT reject you, rather than whether i REALLY would. The thing is, NOBODY validated that you were too ugly for me to date, or that you are too old. I think you might need to just chillax. lol. You're just going by what you THINK would happen.

totally agreed there brotha. been with a older chick before. good experience.

and agree with you Leigh as well.

Hahaha ok you win your putting way to much into this i was just playing i know i am not ugly and i am sure you might go out with me.If not well thats ok to, i just wanted to see how you felt about dating a guy trice your age.

Personally I could care less. What seems odd is that when older men talk about dating younger women, the older women usually verbally emasculate him. It's interesting when the shoe is on the other foot suddenly it's "age is but a number".

But then those women haven't joined the conversation yet. This is what I mean by the silence is deafening.

Haha, silence sure is deafening.