so i met this girl who is close about an hr away from me online she is nice an clean no drugs which is awesome. knows what i do an dont do am suppose to go meet her sometime i keep asking when but dont want to push her either as i want her to be relaxed as she can be im harmless really an have strong insecurity issuses with women as i havent been out on a date date since the last one ripped my soul an took a peice of it for life .she hasnt set a date yet of course its only been about two weeks since we starting chatting i dont have anyone to talk about it maybe i shouldnt mention it on here but i know i can screw it up lol. she is serious but slow to trust which is really cool as i like someone who is carefull. any advice would be taken i dont know how to do the new dating scene so im trying to work on it again thanks for reading this .just an old hippie bachelor who wants to be loved by significant other but scared as hell to give it another shot lol.

Its so hard--there is such a thin line between letting someone know you are interrested and appearing over eager and not desperate. I find I tell too much and apoligize repeatably with people I do not know--where as that is not something i do when I am comfortable.
There is alot to be said for slowing down--but you are torn about putting all your cards on the table. i just have to hope (and pray) that the right person will one day be at the same place and we click. I hope that for all of us.
When you finally meet-- Slow down and smile, catch her eye go for the connection that words cannot say.

I know from experience that the guys that I’ve met within a week or two of chatting online/texting/phone calls etc have not worked out. So I tried it the other way… months and months of chatting and getting to know each other and it still hasn’t worked…

I guess it doesn’t help that you both have insecurities that you’re dealing with….Trust your instincts and good luck.

I believe you need to go in with a clean slate. She didn't do what has happened to you in the past. Do not hold her accountable and rob yourself of a opportunity to love freely. Let go of your hurt soul and forgive. Just move forward and be honest with yourself and her.Good luck!

I agree with Klc. Just ask her out every so often and when she's ready she will say yes. I actually thInk it's better to meet sooner rather than later but that's just based on my personal experience. Much harder to do if you are long distance but you guys are close. Good luck.

how nice for you! be yourself! You might want to chat with her and try to lengthen those sessions or talk more frequently and try talking on the phone before meeting too. If she agrees to a phone call - you might want to talk a few times on the phone before mentioning meeting again...unless she mentions it first

I think you're smart to realize that she may need some more time - good luck!

well as usuall seems that it ends in about 2 weeks the other night as they all seem to do she started asking for money for a computer lol i told her that i only help close family an freinds who i visit on a regular basis an i just dont see going any further even if it works out i now know she is money hungry this really sux. but at least not a love lost .
as for the soul part any loss of a child is a peice of your soul gone .
thankyou all so much for the advice i really need this feed back sometimes it helps me think things through.again thankyou mingle2 people.

so did you say you were buying us computers???



....kidding

so sorry to hear - online is full of scamarama - glad u figured it out sooner than later!

thanks sweetestgirl il find her someday lol or just keep on being an old hippie may be the easiest solution lol.

Sorry to hear that it hasn't worked out for you Grizz.

I'm a firm believer that you have to kiss a few frogs before finding your prince/princess.

As Sweetestgirl said, better that you found out relatively soon before you invested any more time in her!

Dont chicken out and try to get some after a few dates.

be yourself sunshine!!!!!!!!!!! still take it slow when u meet no matter what... u will find the answer within yourself!!

lol!!!!!!!!!!!! dont pressure him! ya stinkpot!

awww didnt see ya post that! nevermind!

this really must be hard. You found a good woman, and she forces you to realize that she is not, and that it's the same old, same old.

As everyone else on this site, or so it seems, I also got into a rut. I meet these wonderful people on this site or another, and for one thing their desription is good, for the other they seem to have a balanced, happy, normal life; and then one after another they turn out to be welfare recipients, and really disturbed people, or suffering from a rare and horrible disease that has made them put on twenty stones, and they are wheelchair bound, and they take care of their eight, nine, and ten year old children one day a month because of their disability, etc. etc. etc.

Please don't get me wrong. All the people I got into a bit of a private emailing were good people. Legally and morally. They are good, honest, well-meaning people, much like myself, and they are all loopy, much like myself. The difference between them and me is that I don't put out a profile about myself as if I were normal. (BTW, if someone here thinks that I misleadingly paint a not loopy enough picture of myself on my profile here, then please let me know and I'll adjust the loop in my profile to correspond to the real me more precisely.)

So I keep bumping into normal people who turn out to be not, and I try to give a realistic image of myself, which deters all potential dates.

In other words, I decided to go honest, in a sea of others who are kind, good, well-meaning, but dishonest.

So the twain shall never meet.

Now. In your situation the lady is doing what I've been experiencing, which essentially is that she is showing the white of her teeth, which is different from how it appears (a sort of beige) on her profile.

You are surprized and hurt.

I am beyond that. Surprize is not in my repertoire of emotional reactions and I can't get hurt coz I don't put out.

You are at the stage where you still have hope, and you spend a lot of your mental and emotional energies trying to telepathically change the cosmos, and through that, to make the world transform from its actual attitude to the one you envision would be better. There is a New Age name for this, "astral projection", but there is no term for it in psychology, although the basic motivation is pervasive and very similar to its definition by the New Wave philosophers.

Astral porjection does not alter reality, and maybe that's why pscyhological sciences do not have the concept defined. But it is a valid and existing behaviour, and the psych field should not snub it, because it is just as pervasive and ineffective as other types of reaction formations, for instance rationalization of cognitive dissonance.

I digressed, but I think it was worth it.

I think that you are still in that phase in which you are using astral projection, and you get hugely disappointed with the results as compared to the expected results. I no longer do comparisons, as I've gone beyond the astral projection phase and I evolved into devoting my life to entertain myself until I can no longer do that.

Sorry to hear that hope you find what you are looking for good luck

to wux lot of wha you said about people who start out to be good an turn out to be crap basically is so true i cant say that i was hurt as its hard to be hurt when you never tear down the wall to your heart to be hurt especially if its an online meet instead of a real meet with the person seems to me they want a perfect man instead of a real man but yes it does get depressing sometimes to always find the losers who just scam ya. or the ones who are so caught up in the holyier than though that they cant deal with your bad habbits i say as long as he works an is not mean to you an treats you good then its all good an he supports himself .
although i also have to say while it would be nice to find a woman who is also independant also would be great to have a freind first to go out with for an hour or so on the weekends an eat or see a movie in public to learn about each other then move on from there .most seem like after 3 chats online there in love really lol how can anyone know untill they at least meet an have some hang out time to learn the other one.I guess the old way of dating an seeing if you were compatible has gone away these days in my opinion. lol thanks for the replies. love mingle its my main place to vent an to get advice from mingle friends.

Honestly.....I read about three lines in and stopped.

As long as you are gonna use phrases like "Perfect"...you are only screwing yourself.

Ask yourself this Homeboy.....Can you be a fun date?

This is simple.

Women wanna have fun.,...we all do...if dating ain't fun, what's the damned point?

If people are hung up on unattainable goals like perfection and ideas....then what is the point of pretending to act like we care? Cause none of us can offer perfection....except for a few retards.

Heck. How many times have I been screwed over and started again? I know some of you think it's crazy but you can't go around living in the past and if you meet someone amazing or you think is amazing, you can't say come back after I attend 6 mos. of psycho therapy for the last jack azz. This is life. You never know when it will be taken from you. If you see something in life you want, go for it because you may not live to see next week or next year.