I tend to believe what the person has written is what they believe is true about themselves. Just because they see themselves that way does not mean that others will have the same perception.

My profile does not say a lot about what I want because I did not come here looking for a relationship. I did not feel that I was ready for one.

Then a man emailed me saying he understood and that friendship was fine. I read his profile which said he was honest, caring and loved to laugh. He said he had teeth, a job and a vehicle what more could you want. I found this funny so I responded to his email. That was 6 weeks ago and we have met in person 4 times.

Although I was not looking for a relationship, meeting this man has changed my mind and lucky for me he is just as interested in me.

My point here is that what is in the profile is not always the most important thing. If he had decided that he didn't want to bother emailing me because I was not interested in a relationship or I had decided that saying he was honest, caring and loved to laugh was cliche, we would not have found a person that we are so compatible with. It is all about taking a chance. Sometimes it is a waste of time but on occasion it can turn out to we a win win situation

Well, yours is the normal reaction, and all guys get this reaction from the "nasty" or "arrogant" approach... but still, they have to try it and experience it, for them to see and beleive that it does not work.


"some approaches work some of the time."

"no approaches work all of the time."

"There are approaches that never work," but the guys try them just the same, out of, like I said, desparation.

I agree Jayne, what peeps write in their profile (with the exception of scammers) is more often than not "their" truth, how they see themselves, and may not lead to how you eventually come to see them....I also agree with OldHippie...Ultimately the truth does come out....

I am not going to go out on a limb and make a call, but I beg to differ.

An attractive picture will get all available contestants to write to her. Interested or not, they will all write, and try to impress.

The amount of letters, the quality of the clientelle, the content of each letter, are all on the same constant, whether a good looking picture writes anything or not.

There is practically only one guy I know, and that is like one out of tens of thousands on this site, who does not write to beautifully pictured women if these women are lazy beyond belief, and that guy is me. I don't write to them, because I basically don't consider myself a contestant any more, so I've decided to get a spine and not suck up to anyone who does not give me the respect of making an effort.

I can agree with this. The truth definitely comes out, usually sooner than later if they're flat out lying.

More often than not, the ones who write based on a picture run out of things to say quickly.

But there is a Boring Oregon.

Well, now there are two of us, because I don't write to anybody first regardless.

Excellent point. Then it makes sense to repeat.

And generally I don't mind if someone asks me certain basics if it is forwarding a converstation. Some questions are just polite small talk. Probably date myself but I remember when everyone asked your sign or your major. It wasn't like they were hard core into astrology but it was less intrusive.

Another excellent point.

Generally if something doesn't jive with what they have put in profile I will ask for clarification and if the story makes sense then no biggy. Like a military guy tells you he is from someplace there isn't a base I would ask if they were on recruiting duty but not because I necessarily think they are bogus until they tell me something I know is balogne. Now a trucker trys to tell me he doesn't have a CDL he isn't explaining that away. Doesn't hurt to do a little homework on someone if you can't check them out through friends.

Ty MS. That was pretty much me. But, then I was called b.s. on it by women...lol.

I wouldn't even want to take a stab at the numbers. I do know that millions (literally) of people have signed up on this site. Of course, they're not all active members at any given time, some accounts are deleted for various reasons, but even with all that, there is a pool of millions of people (potentially). The percentage of members who actively participate in the forums is minuscule. This is pretty much the case on any site with forums.

Now there is this tendency among a lot of women to complain that "Guys don't read profiles, they just look at the pictures." I'm sure some guys do that. On the other hand, why should I look at profiles at all when 99% of them read like they were written by a cat having a seizure on a keyboard?

And I don't care HOW GOOD your pic is (or how good you THINK it is), I'm still not contacting you first.

I don't mind questions about what I've written, but if the person is just asking questions to see if I answer the same way as I did in my profile, that's a waste of my time.

Let me turn that around a minute. Back when I was using my IM, I used to get messages from a lot of women whose profiles said they were from places like Scranton, PA or Ada, OK, but they would mention they were in Ghana when they IMed me. And I would say "But your profile says you're in...." and they would say, "Oh I'm over here on business." Apparently there are millions of American companies who have suddenly relocated to Ghana. Outsourcing at its finest.

All I'm saying is that sometimes discrepancies in the stories can be valuable red flags.

Right, but I find those discrepancies come out in conversation anyway, rather than being grilled with questions as if they're interviewing to check the accuracy of a profile.

Lots of things come out in conversation. I prefer it that way, rather than playing 20 questions.

I joined this site to meet people, make friends, participate in forums, have some fun....Meeting people includes meeting men...Of course I want to meet a man and fall in love, be loved!.....In spite of this, my profile description "of me" consists of two sentences...One is average in length, one is short, three words....I have lots of pic in my profile, people can look at them if they want to....I am satisfied with the results my profile is producing..... Personally, I see no need to tell my whole life history when describing myself and feel the basics should be enough...

One thing I do not do is place stipulations...If I come across a picture or a profile description that peaks my interest, I will contact that person...I am not concerned with Who contacts Whom first...

Have you peaked Lately

For me to know and you to....................................not bother yourself about...

I think that everyone lies to themselves, and thus lies to others. And most everyone very often makes false statements due to mis-perception or poor reasoning. I think that most people have a threshold for 'white lies' below which they think its okay to say something thats not precisely correct. (Like: someone asked me if I'm going to go to some event. I said "Yes" rather than "I plan to, want to, hope to, and have made arrangements to do so, but I cannot be certain").

For these reasons, I do feel that 'everyone lies'.

But this is a very, very different thing than making specific claims about obvious facts about one's life that are completely untrue.

Different things work for different people. I gave the basics in my profile, as well as several conversation starters. Some complain about it being too long and would rather me just tell them. Either way, they have to read it!