Thanks for having my back on this , Lex. I personally found this out firsthand, and from that moment until now, it has drastically altered my life as I know (knew) it. You wanna talk about wishing you could turn the clock back? The last three and a half years have been the hardest of my life.

(I should add (short version), said event happened almost three years ago...I made the decision to relocate for someone that I thought, loved me, as much as I loved her...I was wrong)

I have that song "How do I know? Just trust your feelings. How do I know?......How do I know if he really loves me? I fall in love with every heart beat.....I say a prayer........." Okay so my quotes stink. I haven't heard that song in years.

You know I take everything with a grain of salt. Even real life relationships. I enjoy whatever time I do have with people in whatever context I have it. Real life. Internet. You don't really know a person for awhile. My mother says anybody can fake being wonderful for 6 months to a year before you see their true colors and I have found that very true.

Hi 22

Enjoy the process! Love is a wonderful part of our lives.

Good to see you on mingle. You'll learn a lot of different points of view.

How will I know if he really loves me/ I say a prayer with every heartbeat/ I fall inlove whenever we meet/ I'm asking you what you know about these things...
#Love this song, and now I'll be singing it the whole day.

Basically what I'm getting here is, you never know if someone really loves you until you know that person. Getting to know someone is takes time, and love itself takes time. Like a paper fire, it can burn hot in the beginning and there's nothing wrong with that, except it doesn't last. You need a solid foundation for a long slow burn made from wood and kindling and stuffs (am I making sense?).

No rush. As someone previously said, "Live and learn"... Experience noted.

Their actions need to show they love you as well, not just their words. Even then, sometimes it doesn't work.

And sometimes not even then.

cor-rect

I agree with your mother.

Allow me to share a story. Maybe in so many words it can help you in some way.

When I was 15 I met this guy online. We became friends and talked every day online. His worst flaw was the fact that he had a habit of randomly disappearing on me .. sometimes for months. When he returned his excuses always consisted of computer problems. Eventually after a year of this I gave him my number. It took some odd months to actually convince him that he should call. He finally did but it was the only telephone convo we had for a long time. And he went back to his ways of randomly disappearing (this time his phone would be disconnected).

And like you and this guy, we fell for each other but this friendship we had was so crazy. It became crazier when he wanted to get involved with me yet I could never (for the life of me) get him to come visit me. He lived in michigan. To make a long story short ....

At last minuet, when I was 17, he decided to travel to NJ to go to my junior prom. I had my doubts to this actually happening but it did happen. It was like a fairytale the whole time he was here. It was also our first meet. For two years after we had a long distance relationship. He had since stopped disappearing on me. But there was always excuses as to why he wasn't able to visit again or that he was trying to. We loved each other but it was just too much so I cut it off.

Don't you know ... it's been 11 years since we first started talking and about once a year ... I'll get a text from him saying he still loves me. Crazy.

Word of advice ... always have hope but don't be naive. Because if someone truly loves you and wants to be with you ... they will find a way to make it work when you aren't able too.

I was beginning to think that maybe I was acting like a child for expecting him to make atleast an effort to get intouch with me, but not anymore.

I hate to think I've been taken for a ride, but has it broken my heart? Honestly, no. It's just bruised my ego.

Part of me knew it wasn't real, the rest of me is just catching up.

As to whether he loved me as much as he said he did or not? I guess I'll never know. I can only hope he did, but that might just be my ego talking.

I always thought I was too. It took me a long time to realize I wasn't.

You're one of the lucky ones. Back then, he bruised my ego and broke my heart. We seem to get a long better as friends without having much communication because we still express some form of love for each other. I don't want to live in the past anymore. It is what it is.

You and I will never know the things we want to know. And it's probably for the better.

Awwww sweetie, there are never any guarantees. But real love does take time. The rush of infatuation is incredible, and a starting place. Words are just words, a relationship takes more than that.

I think you've just taught me the one lesson I have always failed to learn. I fall for words everyday, on the pages of a book, in a song, in movies etc. Say the right thing, and I'm drawing hearts around your name lol.

"Words are just words, a relationship takes more than that." ... Seems silly and obvious, but this is my biggest lesson to date. A real AHA moment.

You are a sweetheart...you'll be fine. Just try not to rush anything. If it's meant to be, it'll find a way.
Words are very powerful, enlighten us, move us...but actions speak louder than words. (OMG...I just turned into my mother...LOL)

sadly this is very true.You really have to feel sorry for people that would rather run than stay ,because love is so worth it in the long run.

If he twists your arms to press you to allow him to make love to you.

If he sings a serenade to you every Friday night under your balcony, or brings you flowers for Ceder every time.

If he brings you chocolates.

If he says he loves you.

==========

You can't expect any sort of permanence of love. That is not in the repertoire of the emotion "love". Love prevails for a long time, even undying, and forever, only if it is unrequited.

yes member of the grain of salt club here also - song I thought of was

if u want to know if he loves u so? it's in his kiss, ya that's where it is, it's in his kiss

not sure my quotes are any better

and

I agree with your mom - I think you can fall in love before 6 mos or a year - but it still takes that long to get a good handle on someone else

Word of advice ... always have hope but don't be naive. Because if someone truly loves you and wants to be with you ... they will find a way to make it work when you aren't able too.

^ this

thanks wolfchic - kinda goes along with what I was saying about accepting the existence of another's insecurities