You know,

the one your mom always wants, to tell the guy, you just started dating.

And shes like, "Oh its so cute, you gotta hear this story about when she was 5",

and your in the background, giving her the "evil eye", and nodding your head, and whispering, "NO, NO, omg, please no".



As usual, ill start.



I was about 2 years old, and I was in my big playpen, in the bedroom, and I wanted out!

My mother was trying to do housework, and listening to some music, and kept telling me I was NOT getting out.

So of course, I started jumping up, and down, and screaming, and crying, to get out.

So my mom gave me one swat, on the butt.

Didnt stop me, I started to scream louder, and jump up and down harder!! I WANTED OUT!!

My mother comes to the bedroom, closes the door, and turns up the stereo, to drown out the noise I was making. Problem solved!

About an hour later, she goes to the bedroom, to finally let me out, of my playpen.

When she walks in, she is horrified to see, that I have do do'ed in my diaper, taken it off, and flung it, all over the bedroom and myself, in protest.

I havent changed much, have I?




Your turn....................................

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh,

I see how you are.

I tell my chitiest story,

and no ones gonna post!

Are you part Monkey ???? Po Po Thrower...lol

either nearly severing my brother's spine via a broken window from playing baseball indoors, or accidentally lighting the den on fire.

I really didn't want to embarrass myself today. Mom's problem was in getting me to wear clothes outside. See some of the other mothers in the neighborhood had daughters and they thought it just didn't look right their kids having to wear clothes and me out there streaking.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, well...............................

Sorry. Fell asleep for a little while.

I was the same age. Around two or three. My family went to the zoo, and the pavian female was in heat. Pavian females show that they are in heat by having a hugely enlarged, and flaming-red, bare-skin azz.

There was a huge crowd in front of her cage, naturally. We wouldn't have been monkeys ourselves if we hadn't been fascinated by this.

Finally I got lifted by daddy, and I screamed, "Hey, that's just like Mommy's!!"

There was a hurricane of laughter. My mom, bless her heart, had a very good sense of humour, and she adored me too, so she was the one laughing the hardest.

Thats a colorful childhood!

Love it!

You know I do own a "Nudist Club" here?

What are you waiting for?

Hm. I accidentally set my cousin on fire, and i sliced a baseball in two with a piece of broken window-pane.

These were examples of actual exercises prescribed in the pamphlet "Let's Fight for Peace -- Manifesto and User Guide for Communist Youth".

My mother's story about me and I still have the scar today.....

It was my first Halloween so i was about 1. Apparently, I was really excited about going trick or treating. My grandmother called (she was supposed to meet us). I ran for the phone ran dead into the wall and split my head open. I was taken to the hospital for stitches. We went trick or treating afterwards, and at the first house they told me I could all the candy I wanted. I, apparently, dumped the whole bowl in my bag.

There is some story about me pooping in the bathtub too. My kids are funnier though, LOL.

Do you have postcards and pamphlets to advertise the place? Why don't you post them here.

Do you have any openings for towel-boys? My nephew is at the age when he should learn (hands-on) the facts of life.

Did he fart.

I knew kids that used to set their farts on fire, till someone burned up their leg.

Duh!

Its always funny till someone gets hurt, than its hysterical!

No, pardon the pun, "just word of mouth!".

Dont need towel boys, but I do need a new court jester in the Biotch Kingdom, I beheaded my last one for not being funny.

Yeah, I have some painful childhood memories of dem phones that were glued to the kitchen wall and stuff. Too high and out of reach.

In Hungary, the most favourite Hallowe'en treat is "Dog Gum", which is a chewie candy, brown, about two or three inches long, brown, having the thickness of a cigar, and it has bumps in it.

Some jurisdictions have banned it. In those places it is sold contraband, at five times the regular price.

My king calls, good nite kids!!

See ya tomorrow!

Hey Wux,

dont disappear again,

I miss you too much when you do!

I love ya, you know!

You... You know, we have a name for women like you where I come from.

"Praying Mantiss."

"Never kiss a Mantiss
She fall for you and you kiss
Good bye to your heads, kids,
Which you can't afford to miss."

--------------

Edit:

Question: How can a kid kiss his own head?

An adult I can see him do it. Or a child prodegy like Mozart or Rudoph Baumgartner, who had his Ph.D. in Nuclear Physics by age 3, the Nobel prize by age 5, and his own suicide by age 7. But an innocent, young child?

i wouldnt say this was imbarrassing
but when i was 5yrs old
i thought i would jump from the toilet into the bathtub
for i thought i was superman
i ended up cracking my head open
and had a number of stitches



i would say this was funny
i got sick at school
and i came home
as to find out i had the chicken pox
i ended up
giving the chicken pox to a 3blockage range
my best friend came over that day and yep i gave them to her


when i was in grade school
i had a friend that would make her costume every yr
and she made one yrs before
and i thought it would be way differnt.
i was wrong i wasent really imbarrased i was more hurt than anything
for the boys would constantly tease me even after halloween