I was looking up the definition of placate and found a lot of synonyms. There are times when one can feel that they have the need to calm another person. I am reminded of the song, "Garden Party" where the lines go, "You can't always please everybody so you might as well please yourself."

Yep, I like that line from Garden Party. I do exactly that which is why I remain single. Its too much work trying to please everyone; trying to be the person they want; not being able to be myself; or just not being able to enjoy life because of the demands one makes of in a relationship.

I had to come to that conclusion. But, of course, I was a late bloomer. I had to go through this phase of finding myself. I hated it when I couldn't be myself. But then I eventually found that only real person who was stopping me from being myself was me. I am glad you were able to find out early. Once I found out though there was like no going back. They say that making the same mistakes over and over again is like the definition of insanity. I did get help with it in treatment. They called it people pleasing and they told me it wasn't really honest. I still get help for it in my meetings. I guess is it something that I will always have. But as long as I stay out of relationships it doesn't have to affect anyone but me.

I think I learned my lesson from the military. I wonder if that is why there are so many divorces as people are trying hard to please the other person; then wake up one day and say what the hell? The problem of always pleasing others is you get taken for granted; the other person doesn't respect you, people tend to walk all over you, and you lose your identity. I think this goes along with always putting someone before you and then you are nothing more than a doormat. I think this is also why a lot of relationships fail. People get coupled up and they lose their individuality which eventually makes them resent their partner. Of course I am only basing this on what I have heard from others and of course some research on relationships. I thought for the longest time all my break ups were my fault so I decided to research what I was doing wrong but realized it was 50/50 when things ended. I am glad you are getting help for this. There is only one you and one life. Live it to the fullest and don't let any woman mess with your head.

Do you offer tea?

I prefer coffee in the morning. Tea in the evening. Sometimes a glass of wine. And, rarely, usually when I'm eating Mexican food, a cold beer.