Yeah, I know. Two years and haven't moved on. It has nothing to do with not wanting to as much as, I have two children that live with their mom. I call them every single night and see them on the weekends. I have already gone through answering and handling the tough questions that they can ask. I love my kids endlessly and would do anything for them. Well, during the divorce i kinda of didnt want to drag them through the unhappieness and pretty much let my ex get what she wanted. Including half of my check every week, I dont mind, ive adapted to the change and have bigger plans that are in motion. But now I find myself getting frusterated, I will not lie to my kids, she does amd there is nothing i can do to fix that. I dont want to confuse them by saying that mommmy isnt telling the truth so I let it go knowing that when they get older they will learn the truth. I guess my unhappiness lies within that after all this time i have not said one negative thing about my ex. Everyone was surprised that i never called her a name and would defend her. She is the mother of my kids, but now i find myself gettig mad at the things she is saying to the kids. I snapped finally, on the phone. I didnt curse like she does, but most people get concerned when i talk an in cool even tone. I am ex military and tend to carry a tone of authorirty. I have never used that tone on her and when i did i felt like total crap and dishonored in away. I dont even raise my voice at my kids much less spank them. Usually it takes a look and they have always chilled out. Yet, i hear all the time about my son and her butting heads and my little girl, well, she's just like me through and through and tends to sit on the side and wait listen and then react. I think im just tired of being dumped on by my ex. Even now i write this gritting my teeth, the divorce was mutual, the fact that i was white and her family hispanic and all the secret meetings about me behind my back finally came to a head. I do have PTSD, but geez, i have never snapped on anyone in this country, listen, on my wedding day her mom approached my mom and said, "I really wish she would have married one of her own." I didnt snap but i had to escort my mother from the wedding. Ten years married and finally it ended. My friends tell me i am to mellow, but in truth if i have learned anything from life. Being pissed does nothing, my rant i guess is stress release, im not trying to be right about anything. I just love my kids.

Everyone "gets over" their ex'es in different time lengths. It depends on many factors like how deeply you love, if you were hurt or if you hold any resentment. Give yourself time to grieve, only you will know when it is over.

Maybe you could ammend one thing in your thinking now...
..."my ex get what she wanted. Including half of my check every week, I dont mind." That is a very negitive way of saying something you should be very proud of and it is this..." I am proud that I am not a dead beat dad and I take care of my responsibilities for my children." Let the anger towards your ex go, unless the lies she is telling get out of hand. Stand up for your self and your accomplishments to your kids. You do not have to put your ex down to do that. And you are correct, they will see later down the road.

Welcome to M2. Grand luck in your search.

i completely agree, and i have and never will bad mouth their mother to them or anyone, hell, i married her for a reason 12yrs ago. May not have the feelings that once were there, and its not that i gave up by letting her have everything, i think it stems from a childhood of divorced parents and what i went through. I refused to let that happen to my kids, and if i have to be the nice one all the time, then so be it. I think my frusterations been mounting on the fact that i am hearing the badmouthing about me coming from their mouths. Example, my son wanted to know why his grandpa my ex's dad keeps calling me a redneck. I pretty much blow it off im not one to get into a name calling debate. I just tell him that grandpa has different ways of seeing people. I guess, all in all, i work two jobs and spend very little money. i save everything i can to open something in a year. I just want to have the peace of mind or that moment in a day, where i can sit down and let the sounds of everything around me flow into my ears instead of clogging them up with stressfull thoughts and hearing nothing.

The only advice I have is time, time, and more time and maybe rescue yourself a pet from the shelter. That is what got me past my divorce.

i have been divorced for 22yrs
it didnt feel difficult for me
for he was the one that was cheating
and never around when i needed help with the kids
i still talk to him every now and then but he haset changed
hes been married to his 2nd wife for about 20yrs

he has 6kids
and the oldest is our son 24 and the youngest is 21
(yea never learned to grow up) only thought about himself
i feel sorry for his 2nd wife she has put up nothing but crap from him

Welcome to the site. I hope you like it here. Maybe you can meet some new friends. At the AA meetings I go to we tell the new comer that he or she is the most important person there. Some take it to heart and some don't know what we mean by saying that. I just got out of meeting and came home. Tonight's meeting was about blackouts. It is one of my favorite topics. It reminds me of the blackout after the divorce I had once and this 26 years I tried to blackout with drugs and alcohol. I was 26 years old at the time. Then, of course, there were the shorter blackouts like the time when the half way house counselor asked me if there was anyone that I wanted to contact. Next Friday makes 28 years for me. There are still small blackouts unaccounted for like most of the first 26 years. It must be getting better because they keep telling me to keep coming back.

They say that divorce is harder on a person than death. When you have children it makes it ten times as hard. You sound like a good person. Find some joy in life and be true to yourself. Welcome to Mingle.

There is truth that there is a new beginning with all that ends. I really just worry about the psycosis of my kids and how they view what is going on. When i was little., i despised the lies from both parties. Mom and dad. I will never lie to my children about what has happened but at the same time i think i must choose appropriate wording for the truth. and i much choose on what i must not say in order for them to have a good childhool. My children are the best things i have everdone with my life, and i have circled the globe i dont know how may times. All i know, i would sacrifice anything of myself for them not to go through what i did at their age.

Don't under estimate the intelligence of children. (or their power to manipulate their divorced parents with guilt.)