really

This is not an easy question to answer. I think it really comes down to the people involved. When I fall in love with someone, I fall in love. There is no rhyme or reason. There either is a connection I feel or there is not. I know for a fact that I can fall in love with a person without having met them in real life. However, what I have learned is that the person you fall in love with, may not be the person you think they are. They may be hiding something they don't want you to know.

For a long time I have thought that this was something that could only happen online. But, now I realize people can do this in real life as well.

I guess the bottom line is that falling in love is risky business. Online or off. You have to decide if it's worth the risk.

Ah, the big "IF" and you are right when you say 'trust'

Thank you Ruth

This is exactly what I have been telling myself..I just needed to hear it from another rational source.

Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe someone rational will come on here and tell us.

well I am pretty rational (if not also pretty silly & immature sometimes)

and I agree with you. I have fallen in love a few times - not many - but have been afraid to admit it in fear of scaring the man - possilby my mistake because I'm not in touch with either of them any more - and i had never met either one. I think it is a different kind of love - with heavy dose of hope - and I think you fall in love with someone's mind, thoughts, words, moods and ideas online - a great way to start. but still always knowing that the meet makes it or breaks it...

like going to a job interview at a company you know you'd love to work for.....but you haven't actually been there yet....

Hmmmm....interesting analogy.

I think you are right.

You shouldn't HAVE TO BUY any DUDE,,and to be real with you here,,IF he is struggling ALONE,,HERE,,,How in the World could he EVER survive THERE with you? Money doesn't buy anyones reasoning or change who they are from bad to good..
YOU can love a man sounding like Jesus,,,over this Net, and find Him to be Satan in person..
If you want to be involved with ANYONE in an LDR,,then within a month or two, of thinking and feeling that,,MEET with them before going on,,at whatever and however THAT can be done..
Write a Senator and tell them you would love to meet them that they fascinate you,,,and see if that gives your visa some pull,,anything or means to make it possible..
Or have him fly to se you there,,,BUT,,eye-ball to eye-ball baby,
Because no one can trust the user's we have in this World..
And------------------>these words can be sweet as honey--HONEY!
I know to many women who have been used in these LDR,,and it SUCKS.

Absolutely, positively....maybe

I agree it 's best to meet as soon as possible AFTER deciding the person is someone you might like to meet. if things don;t work out you can still continue to invest in the frendship...but from my own experience, it is painful not knowing what the person you invested so much time in is like...or what "could have been"

not sure what that means - does it mean don;t talk to anyone long distance? IDK what to think, but I seldom talk privately any more to anyone long distance for more than a couple messages


so is it possible I'm really selling myself short and not exploring all options, I suppose so

Yes, you are. But, I completely understand where you are coming from.

This is very true..you can build a great emotional attachment with someone online but until you meet them in the flesh, you never know what way it will go. In that way, there's very little difference as it will always boils down to how well the face to face meeting goes.

yes. it does. something that I have not really had the chance to do. maybe sometime

I was talking to my sister earlier and I mentioned that I’ve been chatting to someone in the US recently. Her words of wisdom were “go for it…and if you end up on his doorstep, don't be surprised if he opens the door looking surprised as hell with a kid in his arms, one wrapped around his legs and his wife staring angrily at you from behind him”

My good friend Ruth said one thing that is truer than anything else in this thread...."Offline or on, falling in love is risky". Falling in love requires giving of all you are to another person. And sometimes it works out. Sometimes it hurts like hell. However, as I say, you gotta risk it to get the bisquit.

That girl is a freaking genius.

And a top notch assassin to boot!

yes, she is

I hear you, Terry and my Dada MG has lectured me on this - may be I wasn't really paying attention. Well that was over and I am better now, just enjoying the forum once again and I'm back to draft as usual

Ive used online sites for over 2yrs longest lasted few weeks mainly because of the distance their wasnt many guys i liked on the other site from north staffs.maybe 7o on all together only 7 i felt attracted to if you go into a ldr at least one partner has to have their own place and the other partner be prepared to travel or both have a place take it in turns stay a few days and treat them as a guest ie ask what food drink they do dont like if their vegee ,diabetic,gluten free etc :-D