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| Topic: Emotional cheating online... | |
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I am fairly sure i have been contacted on a couple occasions where they were "seperated" but still living together. In which case their divorce was not yet legal or they had not gone through the whole seperation of property and therefore neither of them wanted to leave... I realized they probably were not even seperated, nor had any intentions to seperate. Only to string you along as long as they can. I dont "put out" and therefore i think that usually sends a signal out pretty quick and they will move on. I tried to keep an open mind and probably was a bit naive at times, but in the end, I am no HOMEWRECKER, and my lack of willingness to be intimate with them quickly shed them from my contact list at their own choice. Lesson learned I guess on my part.  all of this sounds very familiar- my experiences similar. I have only met one guy on here who was willing to talk long term without intimate convos (but he expected me to not mind if he did that with other willing women on the site  so that was an issue) Are you saying while you are just friends getting to know each other that it is not okay to have sex with other people? |
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I am fairly sure i have been contacted on a couple occasions where they were "seperated" but still living together. In which case their divorce was not yet legal or they had not gone through the whole seperation of property and therefore neither of them wanted to leave... I realized they probably were not even seperated, nor had any intentions to seperate. Only to string you along as long as they can. I dont "put out" and therefore i think that usually sends a signal out pretty quick and they will move on. I tried to keep an open mind and probably was a bit naive at times, but in the end, I am no HOMEWRECKER, and my lack of willingness to be intimate with them quickly shed them from my contact list at their own choice. Lesson learned I guess on my part. all of this sounds very familiar- my experiences similar. I have only met one guy on here who was willing to talk long term without intimate convos (but he expected me to not mind if he did that with other willing women on the site so that was an issue) Are you saying while you are just friends getting to know each other that it is not okay to have sex with other people? |
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A man on a "general forum" sent me a note in regards to one of my threads and posts...He seemed legit at first because he stuck to the topic. But before long I realized that he was a married man just looking for an "emotional affair" online...He complained about his wife and said that she didn't understand him and talked about how he might have to leave her down the line...Anyway I cut things off with him but I'm sure he went on a "fishing spree" to find new woman on the forum...Have you had any experiences like this? I'm a recent widow and I'm not savvy when it comes to all of the online "games" that go on today. Sounds like a monkey swinging from vine to vine. He's looking for another vine to grab before he turns lose of the one he is hanging on to.  Tell him to see a shrink if he's got personal problems.  |
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I am fairly sure i have been contacted on a couple occasions where they were "seperated" but still living together. In which case their divorce was not yet legal or they had not gone through the whole seperation of property and therefore neither of them wanted to leave... I realized they probably were not even seperated, nor had any intentions to seperate. Only to string you along as long as they can. I dont "put out" and therefore i think that usually sends a signal out pretty quick and they will move on. I tried to keep an open mind and probably was a bit naive at times, but in the end, I am no HOMEWRECKER, and my lack of willingness to be intimate with them quickly shed them from my contact list at their own choice. Lesson learned I guess on my part. all of this sounds very familiar- my experiences similar. I have only met one guy on here who was willing to talk long term without intimate convos (but he expected me to not mind if he did that with other willing women on the site so that was an issue) I can agree with this - friendship blossoming into love. I like that. No one was trying to rush me or do anything inappropriate - I did not mwan to leave that impression. we just had differing ideas on what the status quo between us was to be. unfortunately we could not agree. |
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Edited by
sweetestgirl11
on
Sun 09/18/11 10:55 AM
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I am fairly sure i have been contacted on a couple occasions where they were "seperated" but still living together. In which case their divorce was not yet legal or they had not gone through the whole seperation of property and therefore neither of them wanted to leave... I realized they probably were not even seperated, nor had any intentions to seperate. Only to string you along as long as they can. I dont "put out" and therefore i think that usually sends a signal out pretty quick and they will move on. I tried to keep an open mind and probably was a bit naive at times, but in the end, I am no HOMEWRECKER, and my lack of willingness to be intimate with them quickly shed them from my contact list at their own choice. Lesson learned I guess on my part. all of this sounds very familiar- my experiences similar. I have only met one guy on here who was willing to talk long term without intimate convos (but he expected me to not mind if he did that with other willing women on the site so that was an issue) Are you saying while you are just friends getting to know each other that it is not okay to have sex with other people? if he's planning to have sex with me at any point in time, I would not view that well, no but it would depend on the circumstances I guess - to some extent |
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A man on a "general forum" sent me a note in regards to one of my threads and posts...He seemed legit at first because he stuck to the topic. But before long I realized that he was a married man just looking for an "emotional affair" online...He complained about his wife and said that she didn't understand him and talked about how he might have to leave her down the line...Anyway I cut things off with him but I'm sure he went on a "fishing spree" to find new woman on the forum...Have you had any experiences like this? I'm a recent widow and I'm not savvy when it comes to all of the online "games" that go on today. Sounds like a monkey swinging from vine to vine. He's looking for another vine to grab before he turns lose of the one he is hanging on to. Tell him to see a shrink if he's got personal problems.
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I am fairly sure i have been contacted on a couple occasions where they were "seperated" but still living together. In which case their divorce was not yet legal or they had not gone through the whole seperation of property and therefore neither of them wanted to leave... I realized they probably were not even seperated, nor had any intentions to seperate. Only to string you along as long as they can. I dont "put out" and therefore i think that usually sends a signal out pretty quick and they will move on. I tried to keep an open mind and probably was a bit naive at times, but in the end, I am no HOMEWRECKER, and my lack of willingness to be intimate with them quickly shed them from my contact list at their own choice. Lesson learned I guess on my part. all of this sounds very familiar- my experiences similar. I have only met one guy on here who was willing to talk long term without intimate convos (but he expected me to not mind if he did that with other willing women on the site so that was an issue) Are you saying while you are just friends getting to know each other that it is not okay to have sex with other people? If one person is going to take their time and label a relationship as "just friends" then it IS okay to be with someone else. After all you ARE "just friends" |
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I think it depends on "where we are at" and what we "want" in our life at any given point in time...I like to take my time getting to know someone first before jumping right into a "hot and heavy" relationship. I don't like to "rush things" and I don't like to "be rushed" or "pushed" either.
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Edited by
sweetestgirl11
on
Mon 09/19/11 07:02 AM
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I am fairly sure i have been contacted on a couple occasions where they were "seperated" but still living together. In which case their divorce was not yet legal or they had not gone through the whole seperation of property and therefore neither of them wanted to leave... I realized they probably were not even seperated, nor had any intentions to seperate. Only to string you along as long as they can. I dont "put out" and therefore i think that usually sends a signal out pretty quick and they will move on. I tried to keep an open mind and probably was a bit naive at times, but in the end, I am no HOMEWRECKER, and my lack of willingness to be intimate with them quickly shed them from my contact list at their own choice. Lesson learned I guess on my part. all of this sounds very familiar- my experiences similar. I have only met one guy on here who was willing to talk long term without intimate convos (but he expected me to not mind if he did that with other willing women on the site so that was an issue) Are you saying while you are just friends getting to know each other that it is not okay to have sex with other people? If one person is going to take their time and label a relationship as "just friends" then it IS okay to be with someone else. After all you ARE "just friends" maybe to you. to me it is not. whether friends or dating, w/e, if he is interested in me, I will not view favorably his having sex with other women - especially if we have had dates or intimate conversations. it is not a good way to demonstrate to me his interest in me. I would interpret his interests beinf with the woman he is intimate with and move on. I am not on here to make friends that do not lead into something intimate - not interested...I don;t do "just friends" I have girl friends to hang out with for that... |
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I am fairly sure i have been contacted on a couple occasions where they were "seperated" but still living together. In which case their divorce was not yet legal or they had not gone through the whole seperation of property and therefore neither of them wanted to leave... I realized they probably were not even seperated, nor had any intentions to seperate. Only to string you along as long as they can. I dont "put out" and therefore i think that usually sends a signal out pretty quick and they will move on. I tried to keep an open mind and probably was a bit naive at times, but in the end, I am no HOMEWRECKER, and my lack of willingness to be intimate with them quickly shed them from my contact list at their own choice. Lesson learned I guess on my part. all of this sounds very familiar- my experiences similar. I have only met one guy on here who was willing to talk long term without intimate convos (but he expected me to not mind if he did that with other willing women on the site so that was an issue) Are you saying while you are just friends getting to know each other that it is not okay to have sex with other people? If one person is going to take their time and label a relationship as "just friends" then it IS okay to be with someone else. After all you ARE "just friends" Oh also, one person does not "label" a relationship. that is decided by both, any man who has talked with me knows that I will not be interested in him if has other "entanglements" |
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You may be accurate in what you are describing but I can't count the number of my female friends over the years who have cried on my shoulder about the possibility of divorce. It seems part of human nature. The internet makes it easy to spill your guts without the fear of someone telling your spouse. I presume he was open about being married. I wasn't there so I don't know the context of your conversations but it appears you may be overreacting a bit. If he was telling you that he loved you and was actively seeking intimacy, ... that's another story. I don't know. It seems to me like complaining about a spouse/marriage not going well would be the kind of conversation you'd have with a friend who actually knows you, rather than random people online. If some random guy contacted me and started complaining about his wife, I'd have no desire to hear it. |
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You may be accurate in what you are describing but I can't count the number of my female friends over the years who have cried on my shoulder about the possibility of divorce. It seems part of human nature. The internet makes it easy to spill your guts without the fear of someone telling your spouse. I presume he was open about being married. I wasn't there so I don't know the context of your conversations but it appears you may be overreacting a bit. If he was telling you that he loved you and was actively seeking intimacy, ... that's another story. I don't know. It seems to me like complaining about a spouse/marriage not going well would be the kind of conversation you'd have with a friend who actually knows you, rather than random people online. If some random guy contacted me and started complaining about his wife, I'd have no desire to hear it. Hummmm the way I see it is if all they want to do is complain about their spouse, girlfriend ect whether they are past tense or the here and now. They need to move on for I'm not listening to the whining nothing worse then one that complains all the time... 
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Edited by
Simonedemidova
on
Mon 09/19/11 09:02 AM
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I am fairly sure i have been contacted on a couple occasions where they were "seperated" but still living together. In which case their divorce was not yet legal or they had not gone through the whole seperation of property and therefore neither of them wanted to leave... I realized they probably were not even seperated, nor had any intentions to seperate. Only to string you along as long as they can. I dont "put out" and therefore i think that usually sends a signal out pretty quick and they will move on. I tried to keep an open mind and probably was a bit naive at times, but in the end, I am no HOMEWRECKER, and my lack of willingness to be intimate with them quickly shed them from my contact list at their own choice. Lesson learned I guess on my part. all of this sounds very familiar- my experiences similar. I have only met one guy on here who was willing to talk long term without intimate convos (but he expected me to not mind if he did that with other willing women on the site so that was an issue) Are you saying while you are just friends getting to know each other that it is not okay to have sex with other people? If one person is going to take their time and label a relationship as "just friends" then it IS okay to be with someone else. After all you ARE "just friends" Oh also, one person does not "label" a relationship. that is decided by both, any man who has talked with me knows that I will not be interested in him if has other "entanglements" SWEETEST-this is in reply to both your responses.. Well that works for you, but not me. If a man is not strong or willing enough to make a commitment to me then I dont feel i need to hold out, "just in case". When he is ready for a commitment, then so am I. There are too many cheaters out there who expect a monogomous relationship on your end while they are out fishing the ocean. Until there is a definite commitment in place it is a free for all. |
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I am fairly sure i have been contacted on a couple occasions where they were "seperated" but still living together. In which case their divorce was not yet legal or they had not gone through the whole seperation of property and therefore neither of them wanted to leave... I realized they probably were not even seperated, nor had any intentions to seperate. Only to string you along as long as they can. I dont "put out" and therefore i think that usually sends a signal out pretty quick and they will move on. I tried to keep an open mind and probably was a bit naive at times, but in the end, I am no HOMEWRECKER, and my lack of willingness to be intimate with them quickly shed them from my contact list at their own choice. Lesson learned I guess on my part. all of this sounds very familiar- my experiences similar. I have only met one guy on here who was willing to talk long term without intimate convos (but he expected me to not mind if he did that with other willing women on the site so that was an issue) Are you saying while you are just friends getting to know each other that it is not okay to have sex with other people? If one person is going to take their time and label a relationship as "just friends" then it IS okay to be with someone else. After all you ARE "just friends" maybe to you. to me it is not. whether friends or dating, w/e, if he is interested in me, I will not view favorably his having sex with other women - especially if we have had dates or intimate conversations. it is not a good way to demonstrate to me his interest in me. I would interpret his interests beinf with the woman he is intimate with and move on. I am not on here to make friends that do not lead into something intimate - not interested...I don;t do "just friends" I have girl friends to hang out with for that... If you're just friends with someone, you don't get a say in their dating/sexual activity with other women they may not be just friends with. Now, if you were actually dating exclusively, that's quite different. |
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You may be accurate in what you are describing but I can't count the number of my female friends over the years who have cried on my shoulder about the possibility of divorce. It seems part of human nature. The internet makes it easy to spill your guts without the fear of someone telling your spouse. I presume he was open about being married. I wasn't there so I don't know the context of your conversations but it appears you may be overreacting a bit. If he was telling you that he loved you and was actively seeking intimacy, ... that's another story. I don't know. It seems to me like complaining about a spouse/marriage not going well would be the kind of conversation you'd have with a friend who actually knows you, rather than random people online. If some random guy contacted me and started complaining about his wife, I'd have no desire to hear it. Hummmm the way I see it is if all they want to do is complain about their spouse, girlfriend ect whether they are past tense or the here and now. They need to move on for I'm not listening to the whining nothing worse then one that complains all the time...
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Edited by
Simonedemidova
on
Mon 09/19/11 09:53 AM
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I agree. A term of "Just Friends" Is 'Just THAT' nothing more nothing less until BOTH parties involved agree to something more.
*Ugh, okay the one time i dont use the QUOTE feature. This was in reply to your recent post SingMESWEEt |
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I agree. A term of "Just Friends" Is 'Just THAT' nothing more nothing less until BOTH parties involved agree to something more. Exactly. If I were just getting to know someone, or just starting to date them, I'm certainly not going to assume they're committing to only seeing me right away. And if I'm just friends with them, I have no say whatsoever in their dating life at all. |
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Edited by
GreenEyes48
on
Mon 09/19/11 10:06 AM
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My husband wasn't a "one night stand" type of person and I wasn't either...When we met I didn't really want a boyfriend and he wasn't looking for a new girlfriend either! We just "clicked" in a lot of ways and enjoyed spending time together. Eventually we became "best friends!"...Then our relationship "blossomed" into love and friendship! And we got married a little later...Neither one of us was "looking for a mate" when we first met. This was the farthest thing from our minds...We were ok being single and just "doing our own thing." We both dropped out of the dating scene before we met...If we didn't end-up falling love I'm sure we would have remained close friends forever.
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See i can totally understand that, which Is why i was trying to be open minded about it. But I guess the part where "they dont get laid" before a certain time of THEIR choice, really shows their true colors. |
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You may be accurate in what you are describing but I can't count the number of my female friends over the years who have cried on my shoulder about the possibility of divorce. It seems part of human nature. The internet makes it easy to spill your guts without the fear of someone telling your spouse. I presume he was open about being married. I wasn't there so I don't know the context of your conversations but it appears you may be overreacting a bit. If he was telling you that he loved you and was actively seeking intimacy, ... that's another story. I don't know. It seems to me like complaining about a spouse/marriage not going well would be the kind of conversation you'd have with a friend who actually knows you, rather than random people online. If some random guy contacted me and started complaining about his wife, I'd have no desire to hear it. Hummmm the way I see it is if all they want to do is complain about their spouse, girlfriend ect whether they are past tense or the here and now. They need to move on for I'm not listening to the whining nothing worse then one that complains all the time... |
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