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| Topic: Emotional cheating online... | |
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See i can totally understand that, which Is why i was trying to be open minded about it. But I guess the part where "they dont get laid" before a certain time of THEIR choice, really shows their true colors. Yes, I say good riddance to those types of people. Thanks for doing me a favor! |
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How can a man or woman expect to have a happy marriage if they don't invest their "all and everything" into their relationship?...The married man who wrote to me didn't seem to feel that he had a responsibility to "fix" the ongoing problems he had with his wife. He wasn't really interested in finding any "solutions." And this seemed weird to me!
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How can a man or woman expect to have a happy marriage if they don't invest their "all and everything" into their relationship?...The married man who wrote to me didn't seem to feel that he had a responsibility to "fix" the ongoing problems he had with his wife. He wasn't really interested in finding any "solutions." And this seemed weird to me! what that means is that the relationship is over. he no longer wants that relationship, but either the full impact of that hasn't occured to him yet or he hasn't figured out how to handle things (feelings and thoughts actually becoming actions - a time lag there) |
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I am fairly sure i have been contacted on a couple occasions where they were "seperated" but still living together. In which case their divorce was not yet legal or they had not gone through the whole seperation of property and therefore neither of them wanted to leave... I realized they probably were not even seperated, nor had any intentions to seperate. Only to string you along as long as they can. I dont "put out" and therefore i think that usually sends a signal out pretty quick and they will move on. I tried to keep an open mind and probably was a bit naive at times, but in the end, I am no HOMEWRECKER, and my lack of willingness to be intimate with them quickly shed them from my contact list at their own choice. Lesson learned I guess on my part. 
all of this sounds very familiar- my experiences similar. I have only met one guy on here who was willing to talk long term without intimate convos (but he expected me to not mind if he did that with other willing women on the site  so that was an issue)
Are you saying while you are just friends getting to know each other that it is not okay to have sex with other people? If one person is going to take their time and label a relationship as "just friends" then it IS okay to be with someone else. After all you ARE "just friends" Oh also, one person does not "label" a relationship. that is decided by both, any man who has talked with me knows that I will not be interested in him if has other "entanglements" SWEETEST-this is in reply to both your responses.. Well that works for you, but not me. If a man is not strong or willing enough to make a commitment to me then I dont feel i need to hold out, "just in case". When he is ready for a commitment, then so am I. There are too many cheaters out there who expect a monogomous relationship on your end while they are out fishing the ocean. Until there is a definite commitment in place it is a free for all. yes that's what I mean also - that's why I take a dim view of a man starting something up with me while he is intimate with another woman....and I know there are those who are into casual and that's their thing - I am not referring to those folks. I would consider that (the casual crew) as the free for all. And as I said that's fine if you like that or see things in your way but I do not I am not interested in a free for all type of guy either. Because you are OK with a free for all does not mean that I am, and I have already dropped (or pushed to dropping) a couple of different guys on here who persisted on that casual sex type of behavior - it is simply not acceptable - if it is something a man has done in error in the past and is willing to set that aside I will consider him - maybe |
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Another married man just contacted me. He kept the fact that he was married a secret at first...But he finally told me that he was married in a casual kind of way. As soon as I found out that he was married I cut things off and said I wasn't interested...He sent me several notes back in his defense. He said that he deserved some credit for "being honest" etc. It was obvious that he was trying to "guilt-trip me" and play on my sympathies and "hook" me "back in!"...But I didn't "fall" for any of it. I don't plan to write him back. And I don't feel guilty about it either!
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Another married man just contacted me. He kept the fact that he was married a secret at first...But he finally told me that he was married in a casual kind of way. As soon as I found out that he was married I cut things off and said I wasn't interested...He sent me several notes back in his defense. He said that he deserved some credit for "being honest" etc. It was obvious that he was trying to "guilt-trip me" and play on my sympathies and "hook" me "back in!"...But I didn't "fall" for any of it. I don't plan to write him back. And I don't feel guilty about it either! sounds pretty immature - on his behalf |
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I am fairly sure i have been contacted on a couple occasions where they were "seperated" but still living together. In which case their divorce was not yet legal or they had not gone through the whole seperation of property and therefore neither of them wanted to leave... I realized they probably were not even seperated, nor had any intentions to seperate. Only to string you along as long as they can. I dont "put out" and therefore i think that usually sends a signal out pretty quick and they will move on. I tried to keep an open mind and probably was a bit naive at times, but in the end, I am no HOMEWRECKER, and my lack of willingness to be intimate with them quickly shed them from my contact list at their own choice. Lesson learned I guess on my part.
all of this sounds very familiar- my experiences similar. I have only met one guy on here who was willing to talk long term without intimate convos (but he expected me to not mind if he did that with other willing women on the site so that was an issue)
Are you saying while you are just friends getting to know each other that it is not okay to have sex with other people? If one person is going to take their time and label a relationship as "just friends" then it IS okay to be with someone else. After all you ARE "just friends" Oh also, one person does not "label" a relationship. that is decided by both, any man who has talked with me knows that I will not be interested in him if has other "entanglements" SWEETEST-this is in reply to both your responses.. Well that works for you, but not me. If a man is not strong or willing enough to make a commitment to me then I dont feel i need to hold out, "just in case". When he is ready for a commitment, then so am I. There are too many cheaters out there who expect a monogomous relationship on your end while they are out fishing the ocean. Until there is a definite commitment in place it is a free for all. yes that's what I mean also - that's why I take a dim view of a man starting something up with me while he is intimate with another woman....and I know there are those who are into casual and that's their thing - I am not referring to those folks. I would consider that (the casual crew) as the free for all. And as I said that's fine if you like that or see things in your way but I do not I am not interested in a free for all type of guy either. Because you are OK with a free for all does not mean that I am, and I have already dropped (or pushed to dropping) a couple of different guys on here who persisted on that casual sex type of behavior - it is simply not acceptable - if it is something a man has done in error in the past and is willing to set that aside I will consider him - maybe Geez is that a message for me or someone else, LOL. Well i am not in a free for all now, that is for sure. I am very happy with what i have. When someone makes a commitment to me, I make one back. |
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What gets me, and i had this prob with my ex prior to the split---
here it goes...Couples who grow apart are not communicating their needs, a lot of time a woman is trying to communicate and a male is shutting her out. He may say to his wife, there isnt anything to talk about, but yet he is online talking about work, music, blah blah blah. When he comes home and the wife says, hey babe, how was work and his response is "its work" then he heads upstairs, he is shutting her out. Then he goes online and tries to flirt with strangers or maybe women he knows. Its funny how they have nothing to say to their wives but plenty to say to their strangers... |
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