I am fine with it/ Especially if they were friends before we met.
On the topic of being cheated on, be very careful. I understand your feelings (been there with 3 *OMG yes * 3 different men) my advice is make sure they know that if it happens again - they are gone. and Stay strong.

My
trust your instinct. If something feels wrong, it may very well be.

But if he doesn't hide the fact that they are talking and doesn't act suspicious (like leaving the room everytime they talk, or erasing all messages and emails) then your fine.

Singmesweet, there really aren't a whole lot of words in those last two sentences - so I'm completely baffled by your evident misunderstanding.

When you say "Why do you assume..." your words directly imply that you believe that I have so (or would so) assumed.

Read it again. Maybe you didn't notice the word "whether" ? Or don't understand the word 'whether' ? Look it up. It deals with alternative possibilities.

Wow.

Every situation is different, and each person is different, so maybe its not really up to us to say what is reasonable for you and your situation.

From what you've said, I would definitely be concerned!






I think that's true for most people...are you saying that's true for everyone?

When you said "Why would either of us embrace friendship with someone who wants to drive us apart?" it seemed as though you were assuming new friends were going to do that. If that's not the case, ok.

Singme, I was rude to you just now - unnecessarily so. I appreciate your polite and honest reply. I just don't have patience for people putting words in my mouth, and my words didn't require that I had made the assumption stated.

I was assuming that it could happen (which is just a fact of life), not that it will - and saying that therefore I would be sensitive to whether (or not) new friends show respect for the relationship. (Knowing that not everyone that fails to respect a relationship will try to drive it apart, but it can be a helpful indicator.)

If (hypothetically!) my girlfriend was friends with someone who was trying to drive us apart, I would question that. I mean: why? What is she getting out of that friendship? What are her priorities? She is free to make her choices, but I might (or not, depending on circumstances) choose not to be in a relationship with someone who choose to be friends with someone who is trying to drive us apart.

You were a bit rude, so thanks for the apology. It wasn't clear from the way it was written, which is why I asked. Thanks for clearing it up.

I think it's fine to question being friends with someone if they know they're trying to break up a relationship. I'd do the same.

Not a big deal and if he wants to cheat I know where the door is and how to get to the Mingle 2 forums....and how to accept a new date

If you are with someone because you
love them today, there is NO intrinsic
right to change their past.
It is History.

You lack trust, in the present.
You can ruin what you have now by
dwelling on the past.

People have old friends.
Even ones they have slept with.
That preceded you.
You can't kill them all.

About all you can change, is your
attitude. You seem to be suffering.
Let it go.
If he cheats, like Seakolony said,
you know what to do.

Seriously, you ought to wait until
he does it.
Not worry about it the rest of your
natural life.

wow you sound a little defensive IMO

to me it is not a matter of control as much as it is respect....if a man wants talking to all those other women - he can go and sleep wiht them

bye

is in my vocabulary - on the top of the list in a case like she described...it's notthat I do not like to compete for my man's attention - I WON'T

but I will not tell him what to do. it has to come from him

I won;t tell him what to do - he will just wake up one day and I will be gone...

actually both same gender and opposite gender SINGLE friends often do just that. I have always figured it was a jealousy thing. but even the way the topic is being bandied about here is evidence enough to me that keeping opposite gender friends close is just trouble waiting to happen

and unwise

Not defensive at all. I was just giving my opinion. Fortunately, I've never dated someone who tried to tell me who not to be friends with.

However, if a man or woman is just talking to other people, it wouldn't necessarily mean they want to go sleep with all of them.

right

and I also saw your comment making the distinction between an old friend and someone with malicious intent. I agree. It is the latter I'd be concerned about. Afterall if u know that a man u are talking to as a work chum, for example, has a girlfriend - why pursue that friendship wiht any real frequency?


I can see no reason to be on the phone with an opposite gender friend at times when you'd normally be with ur partner - like late at night....unless there is some kind of emergency etc - so I think it is a matter of what constitutes appropriate and respectful behavior....if u have to tell a man that his relationship with another woman bothers you, chances are he IS spending too much time with her and that's a bad sign...

Yes, a friend and someone with intent to cause trouble are quite different. But, I'm just not going to assume everyone is the latter. I like time with my friends and I would hope someone I'm dating still enjoys time with his friends. I'd worry more about a guy who had no friends, than a guy with female friends.

I have male friends who are dating or married that I keep in touch with. There's nothing more than friendship going on and their girlfriends/wives have never had a problem with it.

I see nothing inappropriate about keeping in touch either. I would only be concerned if a boyfriend seemed to prefer the company of other women or was flirtatious or suggestive with other women

Hey there sweetheart...

good to see u ms seakolony!

also true as someone with malicious intent is also not a friend in the first place

why is it though, that men are often blind to troublemakers when they do exist? And if his girlfriend raises her suspicion that someone is trying to make trouble he automatically defends the OTHER person instead of considering the perceptions of his partner. that is SO annoying - and a good way to be accused of cheating....

Good to see you too......

I think what people here should know is dating isn't for the faint at heart......

You have to be able to trust and if can't handle it don't do it......

If you walk in the door and your aren't respected you have to be able to walk out that door with your head held high whether you feel it or not......I for one won't walk out the door letting them see me broken not ever

I see a human element to everything. People make mistakes & do dumb stuff. I would not walk out the door without having tried to communicate my feelings. But a person's priorities are evident in who they spend their free time with. If free time is precious because of work commitments and he chooses to spend most if it with others - especially other females, I would not be pleased. I would interpret that as being low on his priority list which is not acceptable to me

I would not be interested in a man that had numerous female freinds in the 1st place - I prefer the type of man who wants to focus on one particular female...