Ok, the last time I wrote about this subject I receive some very good advice, but being stupid I didn't follow it guys. I met my ex today and it didn't go so well. I ended up leaving fighting back tears so I wouldn't look so stupid in front of people at Starbucks. Honestly I know it won't work, and I've accepted that as much as I still care for him.

And as to not keep putting the both of us through any more drama I ended the almost 3 year relationship explaining why and that we both need to look for someone who is truly right for us. I stopped calling and,emailing him. For awhile I ignored his contacts all together. Today I broke down and agreed to meet him for coffee. He feel like I'm calling all the shots, and he feels used. Used he says. What is freakin wrong with this man? How long will it really take me to just stop going thur this? Is there something wrong with me? Has anyone ever gone thur this before? I'm almost afraid to meet anyone online again, or at least on Mingles.

It sounds like you need some real time apart from eachother without contact. Clearly, emotions are still activated, and none of you have moved on from this break up yet. I doubt none of you will move on from this until you both cut ties for a while, and allow your emotions to settle.

Baby. You are doing this to yourself. We love ya but, we can't do the right thing for you when you won't do the right thing for yourself.

You can meet people that make you cry in real life too. Mingle got nothing to do with what you are putting yourself through.

None of us want you to cry Honey. Obviously, you are in a situation that does not make you happy. The only control you have is over you. Take control.

I'm not giving any advice to anyone anymore. screw it.

A. You won't listen, and just end up doin' your own thing.

B. You can never change a Ladies opinion anyway.

C. Where did giving advise ever get me. A headache. And I've learned that all my advise, is a load of bull crap anyway.

Now excuse me, I have a date with destiny.

I have been where you are. It's hard to move on even when you/I are the people that did the ending of a relationship. I think the reason for that being is "time". In time we <maybe just me> forgets about the bad,sad times and remembers mostly the good times. Maybe our survival instincts make it that way...not sure. I guess at some point you just have to say to yourself "The End" and close the book. Then it can be time for reflection and healing. It doesn't mean you ever have to forget....just try and find out the parts that didn't work for one reason or another; and try not to repeat them in the future. Hugs to ya sweetie

If you knew it wouldn't work, why did you go see him again? You need to stop doing that if you know the outcome already.

Don't let that stop you from meeting other people, though. Not all men will be like your ex.

Speaking in general, not specific to the OP, many people on here don't want real, honest advice. They want someone to tell them what they did was ok and not their fault.

Dear ybcat1,
Hang in there.

Dear MrBiscuit,
I have found that the derisive impact of words such as yours can be diluted at times by incorrect spelling and poor grammar, rendering the post ineffective in its attempt to cause further pain and suffering. I offer the following corrections:

In item B), the possesive of lady is lady's.

In item C), the noun is advice (with a c). Advise is a verb.

In your closing, you say you have a date with destiny. If this was intended as a proper noun, you should capitalize her name, and good luck with your "date". Lap dances are $10 where I live.

With warmth,
Lowered Expectations

It's always their fault.

I am not a doctor.

I don't have time to create fancy words, to make you feel better.

I am not a doctor.

Its all about personal strength, which imo, you are lacking in at the moment, whether that is because you are still emotionally attached, or it is just in your nature, i dont know. Eitherway, we must all take responsibilty for the emotional situations we are in, only we, as the individual involved, can control what we put ourselves through.

If a situation is making you miserable, change it, dont blame the other person.

You're going to be awfully busy here if you are going to correct everyone's spelling and grammar.

Good advice.

I suggest you change your s/n to "highexpectations"

This is a forum, not a classroom.

Well I don't know about all that now. My Daddy always said you don't ever mess with a mans chicken unless you have your tobacco in the barn.......

is ahe a redhead?

thanks for putting everything into perspective for us

well you have learned to refuse any future meetings, and that contact with him is upsetting & stressful. (things that are sometimes forgotten as time passes) unless u are totally addicted to the drama/pity me thing....(which describes MY ex to a T) then you will cute ties with joy in your heart

I refuse to see/commnicate w/ my ex because he is such a drama queen - turns every conversation he's in into a pity party - pathetic

there are some other more serious reasons, but really ^ those are valid also

To everyone who responded I want to thank you for your honest replies, yes even Mr.Biscuit. When it comes to matters of the heart and you're looking from the outside looking in it is easy to give advice because you're looking at how you would deal with the situation. But when you're the one on the inside it can be a challenge.

After meeting with him I don't know why I came here first to the forum to vent. I guess I've read enough positive responses to others that I felt comfortable posting what happened. At my age one would think I'd be pass stupid relationship problems like this but I am human. I make mistakes, I fall but I get right back up until I get it right. And that's what I intend on doing.

And you're right krupa, I met him here on Mingle2 but I shouldn't look at the site or any other men on the site in a negative way. I'm feeling good now, I'm not sad or upset. Thank you all for letting me vent, and I hope this thread will help someone else stand up and take control. I want you guys to know, I think you are awesome!!!

I see no reason why any of us might not do just what u did so do not be hard on yourself

we tend to forget....remember the good things...or figure that he will have "grown up" in the interval

so there may have been some value to you if nothing more than to reinforce your original reasons for discontinuing the relationship