Has anybody here had any experiences with this type of individual? Generally, it's associated with borderline personality disorders and or Histronic behaviour.

I've been in a relationship with a lady on and off again but her dramatics and inability to maintain a grip on reality constantly tip the scales and I tend to boost out for a while. The consistent emotional rollercoaster gets very tiring after a while.

I'd like to hear others opinions and or stories about the matter (emotional vampires).

Strictly for my own personal and selfish reasons of course!! :)

Thanks,

K.

Yes I've heard of the term, and dealt with the sort (still do with some friends). Get rid of them if possible and minimize the time to spend with the friends.

Well if you were gay and in this vampire situation I'd tell ya to plug your butthole with garlic, but that aint the case.

mmm...yes. Reading up on the matter, it appears the victim and the histronic tend to feed off of each other.

K.

Energy vampires....play out their dramas....they LUUURVE drama....and as sure as the sun comes up each day....someone will appear to play out the other half of the equation.


I am too lazy to play the drama saga game with anyone...I just can't be bothered....and can see it a mile away in others.

yes, I guess my question is why do you keep going back when your personalities are not compatible

not sure that anything is WRONG with her per se (as amateur diagnosis is a big no-no) as much as you might just want to chalk it up to incompatibility and move on - just my .02

she doesn't sound like my type of person either....just don;t go back

interesting point - the crazy ones are usually fantastic in bed!

$.02

I would just not have the patience to deal with that kind of person.

If they had been diagnosed before you started to see one another and it wasn't mentioned then that is so bad.If diagnosed then they ought to be in therapy which can help.
If not diagnosed then maybe you could persuade her to seek help? It would depend how you feel.
If she doesn't listen and accept help then get out as the current situation is not fair on you.

Regarding these people can be good in bed reply-that's an aweful thing to say as these individuals can be very emotionally vulnerable and people can and do take advantage of this.

Can't say I have dealt with anyone in that situation nor would I deal with someone that long that was that way.

I had a roommate once that was an emotional vampire. Drama, Drama, and more Drama. I moved out.

I have a friend like that whom i dont ever call. Occasionally that person calls me and i will oblige to suffering for an hour or two. Pay my dues and get out. Just glad we are not dating...To the one who has to live with that person....you deserve a million dollars....it is worse than having three full time jobs and 8 children.

I have NO idea how that happened!! LOL!

But you make a great point all together. Well, first of all, getting her to recognize her faults is a huge no no. After having read up on the matter it appears as though we feed off of each other. She's highly irrational, can't maintain a train of thought if it isn't directly related to her ; wheras I myself am very logical and actually supress my anger. We're diametrically opposed in our nature you see. (?) . I see everything in her and coincedentally so does she LOL! So the option of directing towards help would cause her to digress deeper into her own defense mechanisms.

What has to happen is for me to take care of me w/o her knowing I am taking care of me. So the quacks say. This is truly a woman I care for greatly primarily as a friend (as we have been through some genuine trials together and have survived) and giving up on her is not an option. It is true to say that we will never be intimate (unless she does admit her case and seek therapy) because her disorder requires a constant feeding into her ego, a fan club if you will. I guess if I didn't love her, I wouldn't have taken the time to figure out the situation and would have walked away a long time ago. That's o.k., I've got big shoulders.

Thanks,

K.

Kevin-if you are going to stay with her then you must get help to protect your emotional self.There are ways of setting boundaries which do help though initially may be fought against.Do not try to do this without proffesional advice.
Hugs and Blessings to you(both?)

I do have a couple of friends like that, and really do appreciate them for the people they are. Both are more then willing to give one the shirt off their back and help out, and it truly is appreciated.

However, I can usually tolerate dealing with either of them for a very short time, in person. They're needy and they get whiny and expectant of more, even for the short time of dinner and a movie. I don't understand it, and it frustrates me. So, we'll go out, catch up on news and such, and then I'm forced to back off, ignore the phone (because they'll both call multiple times in a day, type of thing) and avoid them for several weeks.

They literally leave me drained. And this is despite telling them straight out what it is that they are doing that drains me.

Normally it's a matter of getting rid of that sort, but the biggest thing is walking away when the drama starts. It looks like you know horses, so think of it as horse training. Reward for good behavior, and walk away from the bad.

Energy and emotional vampires to me are people who suck first your emotions out of you, then your energy, and finally your life-force or will to live.

The vampires who suck these out of me are people who talk, I listen, and they keep on talking, and I keep on listening. I learned to stand up and leave them in the spot. Not on a date or a coffee-meet, but at large parties. I am not your sounding board, I say to myself, and I sometimes don't even excuse myself, but that's seldom. Later you see the same guy or woman wondering around, weaving in-and-out the crowd, looking for another person to listen to him or her.

There are other sort of vampires. I used to have this sweet honeybunch for a girlfrined, we loved each other to pieces. I was very happy, really, but really happy to see her again each time we met, and I was coming out in overdrive with my speeches. She used to say, eventually, 'Andrew... please don't wear me out', and even that was quaint and lovable when she said that. It gave me empowerment, you know, the pride a man feels when he exhausts his girfriend in bed. I know she did not mean it in bed, but the feeling I got from it was the same.

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There is another vampire: who asks questions. Questions that reveal they have very-very little understanding of human nature, and since I am strange, they just can't believe I exist, even though I am sitting right in front of them on the other side of the table at a cafe or restaurant. "Why do you..." "Because,..." and I patiently explain. My limit is usually ten questions for not so interesting women, and twenty with interesting (i.e. gorgeous) women.

Don't think badly of me, or that I am shallow... I have not been out on a date in seven years.

Thank you, and I totally agree. In fact, I'm on the fast-track to finding a counselor/professional as we speak. It's just recently that I've discovered the stitches in the seam (if you will) regarding this matter. After having read up, I know that there's no way I can deal with this w/o expert help.

Good advice Angel,

Thank you,

K.