You've never lectured me.

In my opinion, having a picture is part of being honest. If they're unwilling to show pictures, they're not being totally honest.

Let's deconstruct that.

A picture of what?

Their face? Their clothed body as a whole?

How is that a matter of honesty?

How would you feel if some guy insisted on a picture of your **** before meeting you? And accused you of not being honest if you refused?

What if I want a picture in which you pull your lips/cheeks back and show all your teeth clearly - because I'm concerned about dental hygiene as evidence of good health habits and general self-caring?

You value knowing what other people's faces look like, I respect that. But claiming its a matter of honesty, to me, strikes me as just an attempt to turn your personal preference into something more.

They are not being transparent about the thing that you value, but it doesn't make them any less honest.

I suspect you might choose not to be transparent about how your body looks, without clothes, if a guy you hadn't met required that before meeting you. That doesn't make you 'less honest'; that makes you reasonably selective about what you choose to be honest about.

Just like refusing to show your naked body to a stranger actually helps you sort out the creepers, initially forstalling the sharing of a face pic can sort out the really superficial, impatient people.

I think you're reading way too much into this. I show pictures of what I look like on my profile. I expect the same of anyone I may consider meeting. If they're not being honest about what they look like, I'll know immediately when we meet in person.

If I'm meeting someone to date, then yes, I do have to be attracted to them. We all have preferences.

Are looks the most important thing? No. If there's nothing I'm interested in beyond what they look like, I won't be interested in dating them.

I'm not really sure why you're bringing up naked pictures here, though. I didn't say anything about that.

I'm not going to try and force anyone to put up pictures of themselves. It's up to them. I just make sure it's known that I am not willing to meet someone who won't share a picture first. If all they want to do is chat here, I have no issue with that.

Thats cool. I think most people don't read enough into this. I think the world would be a better place if people looked more closely at most of their beliefs.



That's great. You have an expectation, and you are clear about it. Its not right or wrong, and it has nothing to do with honesty - its simply the expectation you choose for yourself. I think this is a good formula for happiness you are applying: knowing yourself, respecting your preferences, being true to them.




Again, I completely respect that.




I brought up naked pictures to demonstrate that there is no intrinsic issue with 'honesty' when a person refuses to provide a face pic. The only differences between expecting face pics and expecting naked body pics are the values that we individually and culturally apply to those sets of information. None of us would accuse someone of being dishonest for failing to provide nude pics - and yet, by doing so, they are concealing information that might effect some people's decision to date them. Its easy for us to see how this (not sharing nude pics) might simply be a good decision, or an appropriate boundary, and not an 'honesty' issue. Having seen that, we can see how the same can apply to face pics, for some people.



Again, I respect that.

Well I completely agree with that. Refusing face pics is not dishonest, but providing false or doctored pics is dishonest.

Alright...everyone post a nude pic or I report the whole thread to Lord Vader.

If you don't you are FAKEY KAKE FAKE!!!!!!!

Now...don't bother with some witty response...let's see some skin.

I think you're trying too hard to find reason to not show pictures. It's not really that tough. If you don't want to show pictures before meeting, that's up to you. It still has nothing to do with showing naked pictures.

Um... no. Thanks for guessing.



That's exactly correct! I wouldn't bother posting a face pic, or putting anything of note in my profile, or flirt much with people on here because as it is now there are already too many women in my life. I'm not interested in meeting more women, though I might be interested in meeting some really exceptional women.

A few months ago I saw a woman's public writings, and was struck by her intelligence and wit. I respected, admired, appreciated, and even had affection for her based on how and what she wrote.

Last night, I randomly met this girl at a party. I instantly liked her, and she seemed to like me. We ignored the group and focused on each other, with much smiling and laughter. Eventually we introduced ourselves and I was so pleased to discover that the amazing real life personality so closely matched the text-only personality.

Edit: Oh, I forgot the state my point: There are people out there who are more interested in how people think then they are in what people look like. (Though I still appreciate physical attractiveness, just less so than mental attractiveness). People like us can better recognize each other through our writing than through pictures.




"What", exactly, still has nothing to do with showing naked pictures? Can you be more precise?

You don't seem to be keeping things in their proper context. The entire 'lets compare naked pics to face pics' line of thought was directly and only in response to these words:



Sure, you could successfully make that argument, buts its a silly one. Its not a matter of their integrity, its only a matter of them not meeting your expectations.

More editing: I think, now, that we actually agree on all of this. I was just responding to your phrasing in that one sentence. For everything else I remember you saying: I agree with it.

Yes singme, as you said. On the topic: I expect an honest face pic and whole body shot because I am visually inclined. I provide one or two. They have to appeal to me first visually, then mentally and personality wise. I think most people are "visual."

That's just my opinion.

I didn't stutter.

I said "Let's see some skin"!!!!

A picture is worth a thousand words.....remember that.

Looks are always part of the attraction, but good looks do not a guarantee a thing.

There are two other things that are more important to me.

1. The person, who they are, their values etc.
2. The chemistry.

You can learn a little about who a person is by talking to them, and you can form an impression by looking at a head shot or body shot of them, but the final test is chemistry.

All the good looks in the world will not make up for bad chemistry, and I'm not even sure what that is about. It's an attraction that is felt when you meet in person and touch and feel each other. They are Pheromones and vibrations.

You can like a person, and you can like their looks a lot, but if the chemistry is not right... it won't happen.

With some people, when you meet, you just know that you would say YES when it comes to the chemistry and a physical attraction. This is where you can get into trouble if you don't know them as a person. (It could be a disastrous relationship.-- or not) But you could be really hot for each other.

But if you know them as a person and like them, and like their looks and the chemistry is not there.... again it won't happen.

I am not interested in a relationship but if I were, I would like to see a full length picture. I am a visual person. If I had a better body, I would even post some great glamour shots of myself.

If you plan to meet in person, you don't want to put a fake picture in your profile. That would come off as being dishonest.

I look different in my pictures. I seem to have multiple personalities and they sometimes project completely different images. Here are some examples.

Ha ha ha .... photo shopped on the black ops picture and the nag.
The first picture is me last year.

------- <---Photo shopped

---< The Nag

--- << at age 26 years

While not so with platonic friends, both men and women want to have some physical attraction to their romantic partner. I know people change as we age but in high school and college girls seemed to be much more driven by sight than the guys were.

I guess the question I always have is, "why do some people have a profile but never add a photograph"? To me it seems like they have something to hide.

Yeah, I always wonder about those who don't have pictures. I've heard lots of excuses, but never a good one.

Most people don't realize how beautiful they are.


Being a portrait artist, I think it is amazing how there are such a huge variety of different and unique faces in the world. When I do caricatures the sign I put up reads:

"GIVE ME YOUR FACE!"

The people who will sit for a caricature are great people because they know how to be comfortable and laugh at themselves.

When doing caricatures I yearn for new faces, and unusual features. They are beautiful to me.

This guy is a singer. He is no longer living, but he has the voice of an angel. I found him on youtube. I think he looks awesome and I may do a portrait of him from this picture.

http://vimeo.com/8578344

IZ Over the Rainbow

Living forever in Cyberspace!

That's cool.

Lack of self confidence is a turn off for me. If they're too afraid to show their picture on a site like this, I'm probably not going to be into them right from the beginning.

Let us not discount the ugly people....you KNOW they are out there...lurking and plotting.....

Like Canada.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<-------------------------Ugly person who posted a picture.