ok i ll admit iam grouchy

i knew my sons father 17 years, which is over half my life, before we dedcided to have a kid together. at 5 months pregnancy he had apiffany that he and fatherhoodand he werent a good mix. the day before i had our son the "omg iam gonna kill myself" text started. i get one or two a month iam at the point of not talking him out of it anymore. he also signed over custody on chrismas eve the year his son was born. and when we do talk iam the one that keeps him from his son, so he sees no reason to help out, he pays a whole 87$ childsupport. he also lived 6 blocks away from us.


my question is: iam just stupid to keep hoping he ll want to have anything to do with his son?

You can always hope.
Meantime, you have 2 kids.

I would hope for the child's sake that he would, but I don't think he'll ever make much of a "Daddy"...

not stupid to be hopeful, just maybe not realistic

'when someone shows you who they are, believe them' Maya Angelou

Frankly, hun sometimes the damage to a child by a parent who is present can be worse then the damage done when he is not around. Sounds like this might be one of those times.

welcome to mingle, Tex..

Idealistic maybe. Not stupid. You can't read minds. So now he is a daddy and wants to ply like this? CHILD SUPPORT!

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink... But you still can ride it... And I think it is more his sense of responsibility getting to him more than anything else. Oh the love was there making the baby but where is it now?

Don't let his BS get to you! He needs to man up! Make him man up in front of a judge! Lets see what tune his tiny violin plays!

Hoo Ra!

thanks all


i want him to know his dad. but his dad has to want to know him.
guess i just dont want to accept, he many not have anything but a hit and miss relationship with him.

It only takes a little boy with a hard-on to be a father. It takes a man to be a daddy.

I don't think it sounds like his father is a man, imho.

biology isnt the only way a man can be a father. Its likely you will meet a wonderful father for your son someday. Try not to beat yourself up over it too much.

I was very lucky and had such a wonderful daddy...he passed away in December of 08. My youngest son does not like his dad but yet his dad does try at least 3 times a year to see him.
I have noticed a big difference in my son this summer, he has became very quiet and withdrawn...so I asked him if he needed to talk or did he think he needed to go talk to someone. Luckily that day, his dad called and asked if he would go to dinner with him...my son said, YES, I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT CALLING HIM BECAUSE I NEED A GUY TO TALK TO. My son is 16..and has not spent that much time with his dad for 10 years...since my dad passed..I have been trying so hard to get them back together because family is all you have in life!!
So they went to dinner and they are actually going to dinner and school shopping again this week...maybe my prayers have been answered.
Maybe it just takes time to realize that family is all you have? I truly hope that the father comes around because the child will have issues of hate towards his father but he will take it out on you, so beware.
Good Luck

my 9 year old told me while shopping she didnt understand y i had more kids, her brother 7 years younger than her, her sister 8.

i told her, her father and i wanted more kids but it didnt work out that way and her brother was planned, her sister wasnt she was an accident. first words out of her mouth were ya i know to bad, u didnt give her away like her dady wanted u too. her sister was 3 months early and has some minor complications. i do understand her point of view, she was and in many ways still an only child. she lives almost full time with her dad she sees me when she wants. but she misses one on one time. her siblings have no fathers, hince the original post. her father loves the other 2 espically my son, which iam thankfull for. the first time my son called him daddy he didnt correct him, my sons never heard him called by another name, we agreed when hes old enought to understand we ll explain the difference to him.

i have made my kids lives complicated and hope they will understand someday there loved even if we arent the picture perfect family, everyone secertly dreams of.

Have you tried to reach him?

i talk to my son dads 2 or 3 times a week, he just doesnt want to visit or spend time with him.

my sons b day is coming up, its the most intrest hes shown in his son for months, mostly caues i invited his grandmother too, so hes got show intrest, but he ll do his usually brag up his boy and take lots of pics to show people what a cute kids he's got.

At least you've got your child with you :) It's his loss if he loses out. My real father wasn't exactly there for me. In time, i learned that he was quite ignorant and drank constantly. I gaurantee your child will truly respect you for giving him what he needs.