A bit of sex thrown in too. Yeah ;)

A bit of sex thrown in too. Yeah ;)

Actually, my issue was that some people seem to think that someone who states they're looking for a husband is more honest than someone who wants to get to know someone and see how things go.

I can't say that this person would necessarily have to be more honest, but a direct statement incorporating that level of sheer focus is definitely different enough to be eye-catching.

And I think, on some subliminal level, there could be a tendency for some people to read more honesty into it. I know that, when I read the posts about most definitely wanting marriage and kids, there was no doubt in my mind whatsoever that she was totally committed to that goal.

It does come across as more forthcoming than the usual vague, nebulous cliches that most people toss out as a matter of habit.

and just what is wrong with poetry?!?!

Actually, my issue was that some people seem to think that someone who states they're looking for a husband is more honest than someone who wants to get to know someone and see how things go.

I'm all for people being upfront about what they want. However, that does not mean someone who goes about things a bit differently is necessarily being less honest.

You're making this about a specific person. It's not, really. It's more about how people think about the different approaches.

Every relationship has a different dynamic based on how long you've known the person, where you know them from, etc. I don't think it's dishonest to wait to bring up certain subjects. There comes a point when keeping something to yourself becomes dishonesty though. Where that point is exactly varies. But, if you are dating someone on a weekly basis, I think all the cards should come out onto the table.

Gotcha, and I agree that going about things differently is not necessarily being less honest.

I think the line between honesty and dishonesty is often blurred. Both terms are subjective. Everyone tries to make a good impression when first meeting a potential partner, so maybe you omit the total truth (call it lying if that makes ya feel better!) for fear of giving the wrong impression. In my experience, most people can't handle the absolute "truth"...

Some lies are easy to decipher. If you say "That chair is red." and it's actually green, well hello, that's a lie. But feelings and likes/dislikes are not so clear and concise, so this leads me to believe there are degrees of honesty/dishonesty when it comes to what we want/don't want in a relationship or partner.

If you're married and say you're single, you're being dishonest, no question there. But if you don't tell your date that you're sexually attracted to them on the first date because you don't want them to think you jump into bed with any Tom, Dick, or Harry, are you being dishonest? I think not even though you ARE honestly attracted to them. Sure you could tell them, but what impression would that give? I would guess they would think all you wanted was a piece of *** when in reality, it could be that you haven't had sex in years and find very few men attractive enough to spawn that kind of sentiment. So what's a girl to do? "Lie", or tell the "truth"? And therein lies the dilemma.

True colors show through in time. At least, that's how it seems to work in my delusional little world.

Truly, when looking for a significant other, how can we really know what we want before we have it? Sure we have a list of what we don't want, what we can live with and how other people should act but still. If you found what you want in somebody before and let them get away, that is tragic.

Maybe we should'nt ask those questions to potential suitors all of the time. Maybe we should just go with it and try to enjoy the moments we have together and learn about each other. I can't define what I want without first having it. There are so many different types of people that I would fit very well with.

Maybe we should find what we need.

So the next time a lady asks me what I want, I'm going to take her by the hand and say "I don't know what I want, but what I need is you". Let's see how that works out.

I think the line between honesty and dishonesty is often blurred. Both terms are subjective. Everyone tries to make a good impression when first meeting a potential partner, so maybe you omit the total truth (call it lying if that makes ya feel better!) for fear of giving the wrong impression. In my experience, most people can't handle the absolute "truth"...

Some lies are easy to decipher. If you say "That chair is red." and it's actually green, well hello, that's a lie. But feelings and likes/dislikes are not so clear and concise, so this leads me to believe there are degrees of honesty/dishonesty when it comes to what we want/don't want in a relationship or partner.

If you're married and say you're single, you're being dishonest, no question there. But if you don't tell your date that you're sexually attracted to them on the first date because you don't want them to think you jump into bed with any Tom, Dick, or Harry, are you being dishonest? I think not even though you ARE honestly attracted to them. Sure you could tell them, but what impression would that give? I would guess they would think all you wanted was a piece of *** when in reality, it could be that you haven't had sex in years and find very few men attractive enough to spawn that kind of sentiment. So what's a girl to do? "Lie", or tell the "truth"? And therein lies the dilemma.

True colors show through in time. At least, that's how it seems to work in my delusional little world.

Honesty is the most important thing. I'm HIV Poz. I tell that to everyone...friends and lovers...no surprises. I still want someone to love me!!!

On the attraction issue the guy is more than likely waiting for you to say something out of being polite to you. They know that your tired of getting hit on for meaningless sex so they usually wait for you to open the attraction door. Again if it's a mature fellow he's not going to read it wrong. If the wrong guy thinks the wrong thing, well he's wrong for you. I've had women do the attraction thing to me both ways and the slow approach went right over my head. I prefer a woman say it and I'll take it as it is.