Topic: Need Advice
laylanie74's photo
Sat 08/06/11 11:16 PM

my now x boyfriend moved out 2 months ago. he left almost everything he owned, a computer, tv, dvd player and almost all his clothes.

he move in with me after 3 tours in iraq, so this is literally all he owns. we broke up he left the state for a week to help his mother move then was coming back. he sayed when he returned hed get a hold of me and arrange to get his things.

ive tryed calling, and texting but i had to turn the phone off after a month. i got a hold of his sister and she said she would talk to him. but shes not state side shes in libia (navy girl)last i heard, so now iam not sure what to do with his things? how long should i hold on to them, we broke up in june, he went out of state in july.


need opinions plz

no photo
Sat 08/06/11 11:22 PM
If you can;t contact him, and you have no need to keep ties to him. Then what he left when he moved out is technicaaly yours now. I'm sure you've heard possession is 9/10ths of the law. He left all these items and moved out. If you want to be nice, you could box them up and store them away. Or if you can;t get ahold of him, and he doesn't care enough about his stuff to contact you, then do what you gotta do. He cut ties with you and broke your heart, you can not be expected to keep his junk until he gets around to picking it up, free of charge, if he rented a storage unitl itwould cost him. So dont; feel guilty if you need to get rid of it.
Trust me divorced a few times, once you move out, you can pretty much consider what they left as abandoned. SO I say try and contact him, let him know he was acertain amount of time to retrieve it, or its going to Goodwill, or the junk pile. Be strong and don;t let him take advantage of your generosity.
Good Luck Sweetie!

no photo
Sat 08/06/11 11:31 PM
laws vary from state to state, here is washington state laws on landlord's treatment of abandoned property

A landlord may store property remaining when a sheriff executes a writ of restitution unless the tenant objects to storage. If the tenant objects, the landlord may place the property on the nearest public property.

If the landlord stores property valued at $ 50 or less, he must give the tenant notice that he intends to sell or dispose of it after seven days unless it is reclaimed. If the property is valued at over $ 50, the landlord must give the tenant notice that he intends to sell or dispose of it after 45 days unless it is reclaimed. The landlord must apply and sale proceeds to any outstanding debts the tenant owes the landlord, including rent and storage of the property. The tenant can claim any excess income from the sale for up to one year. After one year, the balance becomes the landlord's property.

no photo
Sat 08/06/11 11:37 PM
My advice would be to get rid of anything you don't want. Keeping his stuff around just prolongs the healing process for you. You are not his personal mini storage unit.

Rosebud66's photo
Sun 08/07/11 12:24 AM
Legally, you can not sell, give away or throw away his personal things, and don't listen to people who say you can. You can store it and sue him for storage fees if you can find him. Get legal advice in your state before you make a final decision.

Good Luck.

soufiehere's photo
Sun 08/07/11 02:43 AM
Mmmmm, did he leave anything good?

oldhippie1952's photo
Sun 08/07/11 04:44 AM

Legally, you can not sell, give away or throw away his personal things, and don't listen to people who say you can. You can store it and sue him for storage fees if you can find him. Get legal advice in your state before you make a final decision.

Good Luck.


Very good advice! You can ask your local DA for free!

no photo
Sun 08/07/11 04:55 AM


my now x boyfriend moved out 2 months ago. he left almost everything he owned, a computer, tv, dvd player and almost all his clothes.

he move in with me after 3 tours in iraq, so this is literally all he owns. we broke up he left the state for a week to help his mother move then was coming back. he sayed when he returned hed get a hold of me and arrange to get his things.

ive tryed calling, and texting but i had to turn the phone off after a month. i got a hold of his sister and she said she would talk to him. but shes not state side shes in libia (navy girl)last i heard, so now iam not sure what to do with his things? how long should i hold on to them, we broke up in june, he went out of state in july.


need opinions plz


Does he have any other friends or family that are in your area that might be willing to help out and hold his belongings?

laylanie74's photo
Sun 08/07/11 09:14 AM
hes from minessota, was stationed in texas, his sister lives in virgina but deployed in libia, and his mom just moved to az. so theres no one

and he left a desktop computer and moniter (600$), a flat screen tv and dvd player(225$), and all his clothes (200$), and a custom race jacket (250$).

no photo
Sun 08/07/11 09:21 AM

hes from minessota, was stationed in texas, his sister lives in virgina but deployed in libia, and his mom just moved to az. so theres no one

and he left a desktop computer and moniter (600$), a flat screen tv and dvd player(225$), and all his clothes (200$), and a custom race jacket (250$).


My first advice is if there is any way to contact his mom and ask her for help do it.

If you feel like you can't hold his things for a little while longer then you need to pursue it from a legal angle so you do not get in trouble for disposing of his belongings.

War screws people up, physically, emotionally and mentally. Hope the guy figures his stuff out and i hope you find the love you deserve.

laylanie74's photo
Sun 08/07/11 09:29 AM
i dont know his moms name but can try his sister again. he has ptsd that y we seperated, he just wouldnt admit he need help. thats also y i feel bad about doing anything with his stuff, but i cant store it forever either.

thanks everyone

TxsGal3333's photo
Sun 08/07/11 09:39 AM

Legally, you can not sell, give away or throw away his personal things, and don't listen to people who say you can. You can store it and sue him for storage fees if you can find him. Get legal advice in your state before you make a final decision.

Good Luck.


Good advice.........do not sell or give his stuff away before consulting a lawyer in your area.

If it was me hell I would enjoy the items he left and box his clothes up and store them in the closet...

Niceladyrealy's photo
Sun 08/07/11 12:33 PM

hes from minessota, was stationed in texas, his sister lives in virgina but deployed in libia, and his mom just moved to az. so theres no one

and he left a desktop computer and moniter (600$), a flat screen tv and dvd player(225$), and all his clothes (200$), and a custom race jacket (250$).
maybe he pland2colect histuf and something hapnd,maybe hes in a hosptl,maybe u can be nice and keep itfor2months? Ikeptmy ex stuf til he colectd it,and i postd sum items he forgot.