So many relationships have tough times because we don't open up ourselves truly to the other person. We keep so many parts to our lives private cause we think we might frighten them away before we have a chance to be with them. Well if you feel this way you may be doomed to never truly be with another.

Opening up to another soul is the most beautiful form of communication you can imagine. There's no pretending, no facade covered flaw (in your mind) that you have to introduce later. To be accepted, truly accepted, is the most liberating feeling on the planet. And to give acceptance to another is the perfectly wrapped gift opened.

Are you in hiding?

Nope, totally capable of this with the right person! Have felt this way with a few friends, but never with a romantic partner.

Nope, but my ex-gf is. She'll never admit it though.

Yes, I am in hiding. There are things I would never tell anyone and would take them to my grave. My private life is exactly that; its private and I intend to keep it that way. . Besides there are things that I have gone through that I just can't discuss with another person as a result of my career and if they can't accept that then its their problem. Opening up to someone isn't going to help me one way or another; its just something that person will hold over you when they get mad at you. Some things are just better kept to yourself.

After I read your post I tried to think of something I wouldn't tell my partner and couldn't come up with anything. I think for me I need that in a relationship. I don't know if I need to know everything about my partner, but I have this open book thing about me to them.

<--- Exit Only!

She does have a point about her career though. My cousin worked for the U.S. State Department, and there are things from the 1980s he still is not allowed to tell us about even though he has retired now. All I know is that some of it had to do with the Middle East.

Totally, but that would be an understood thing I would think. Meaning you know that I need to keep these things between me and the government type of thing.

Nope. i always sucked at hidy go seek..
i would find a great place to hide and then I would start to giggle..

I am what you see. I am totally open about who i am and the annoying things i do. i am bossy and probably a pain in the butt, but I would rather have people know that at the beginning then to have them get scared off later.

I figure if someone can handle the truth about me at the beginning and put up with me , then they will be my friend for life.

There is nothing better than knowing that people like you for who you are, faults and all..

If I find someone worthy, perhaps I will completely open up to them.

well, dont really know much about relationships though but its logical to be heart broken before and become resentful of opening up and going with the flow in a new one but all the same talking about the pasts really helps, at least your partner will know which path you've treaded before

Welcome to Mingle kiddo. Jump in and have a good time. Lots of great folks up here.

no.

stripped to the bone, bared soul, heart and mind...

nothing is unavailable to the one that I am blessed to have in this Now....even when uncertainties arise within me....he is the one I turn to....I open them out, place them in the space we have created, and we both look at them...objectively....with complete ownership that they are mine...he holds the space, creates the safety to look at my fears, without judgement or obligation...

there is no other way to remain authentic and present.

Nice!

Some truth are better kept secret, 4ur own gud, nd that of ur partner. So long it has nothin 2do with d reletionship.

The ex bf & I knew our relationship wasn't gonna last forever after the first year or so, but we stayed together for over 4! Both of us are honest, almost to a fault, and we trusted each other.

with Love comes understanding. To understand you must bare all. It is what made you who you are today. I am a very open book. I want you to understand me and with the right person grow together.

you know, those hard, maybe even dark, places of us is where we often find the most intimacy when shared with one we love. a true love will gently hold those places and allow the other person to know it's okay to let go, they will catch you.

I'm transparent, for me it's all about freedom. Freedom to be who we are....and i allow that for others in a HUGE way. I've had challenges if finding that same quality in others.
Many say they are accepting, tolerant etc. - when push comes to shove there is huge judgments and prejudice's in place.
While I have a generic love for humanity, I am very selective to who I let into my heart. Not only in romantic relationships but in all relationships. I've found most can not love without conditions and in some cases even like without some sort of preconceived idea of how i should be.
Am I hiding? No, I just don't cast my pearls in front of swine anymore.

In that case, I hope some day I experience true love. But in the meantime, there are dark places that I don't share with anyone. I had a pretty freaky childhood.