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| Topic: Independence | |
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To me, "girls night out" or "guys night out" is something that we stop doing when we become adults. I have one best friend who I talk to every once in a while about "the good ol days" and how we are to old and have to many responsibilities to do those things anymore. Other than that I only have my work aquaintences. Not really interested in going out with the guys to the bar and wasting a bunch of money and making a fool out of myself. The last time I went out with a friend from work, I was miserable the whole time, wishing I was out making magic with a woman instead of wasting my night drinking, watching sports, and playing video games. Those are things we did as teenagers in high school, I'd like to think that I've made some progress since then. I think you are missing the point of girls night/guys night out. Its a chance to spend with your friends and it doesn't mean you have to get drunk. I just spent a girl's night out eating sushi. These nights have nothing to do with maturity; its simply to spend time with your friends. I think you won't find many women that will fit in to your way of thinking as they need their girl time. Most gals and guys want and need time away from their partner once in a while. I know my friends who have been married for years still have girls/guys night out and they are still happily married. You might want to re-read pink_lady's post as she put this in perspective. Well, we are all different. Everyone is looking for something different. Some women feel pressured by my ways, while some would love to have a guy like me. One person's trash is another person's treasure. Well, he is young and will learn the hard way. I think I've already learned the hard way, twice. But what I've learned is that I should look for a woman who wants togetherness and not independance, a woman who embraces my ways, instead of feeling smothered. I've already expressed what I'm looking for and would be very unhappy in a relationship that didn't include those things. I'm just getting depressed and frustrated because I can't seem to find her. Newsflash; you never will find her until you are ready to give her some freedom. Oh, and if you think its tough to find someone now; it will only get worse as you age. Like Jeanniebean said; see a counselor. |
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Whatever.
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Whatever. You are only 23. You will learn. Seriously. The faster you do, the better it will be for you. |
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Mon 05/16/11 04:11 PM
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Whatever. You are only 23. You will learn. Seriously. The faster you do, the better it will be for you. Unless he is doing this purposely so he can be alone. Guess he has never heard the word compromise. 
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Edited by
msharmony
on
Tue 05/17/11 12:38 AM
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To me, "girls night out" or "guys night out" is something that we stop doing when we become adults. I have one best friend who I talk to every once in a while about "the good ol days" and how we are to old and have to many responsibilities to do those things anymore. Other than that I only have my work aquaintences. Not really interested in going out with the guys to the bar and wasting a bunch of money and making a fool out of myself. The last time I went out with a friend from work, I was miserable the whole time, wishing I was out making magic with a woman instead of wasting my night drinking, watching sports, and playing video games. Those are things we did as teenagers in high school, I'd like to think that I've made some progress since then. I think you are missing the point of girls night/guys night out. Its a chance to spend with your friends and it doesn't mean you have to get drunk. I just spent a girl's night out eating sushi. These nights have nothing to do with maturity; its simply to spend time with your friends. I think you won't find many women that will fit in to your way of thinking as they need their girl time. Most gals and guys want and need time away from their partner once in a while. I know my friends who have been married for years still have girls/guys night out and they are still happily married. You might want to re-read pink_lady's post as she put this in perspective. Well, we are all different. Everyone is looking for something different. Some women feel pressured by my ways, while some would love to have a guy like me. One person's trash is another person's treasure. Well, he is young and will learn the hard way. I think I've already learned the hard way, twice. But what I've learned is that I should look for a woman who wants togetherness and not independance, a woman who embraces my ways, instead of feeling smothered. I've already expressed what I'm looking for and would be very unhappy in a relationship that didn't include those things. I'm just getting depressed and frustrated because I can't seem to find her. Im going to take an unpopular position here and say, as a woman, I think there are women who want what you want and I understand what you have said and what you are looking for. Some people want a life of sharing and some kind of want to share when they want to share and lead their life the rest of the time and some want a balance of the two. I would make a sincere suggestion, judging by your posts here, to look into a relationship called 'taken in hand' there are websites about it and blogs with men and women who enjoy them,,,,I wish you the best of luck and dont get too discouraged . I think it is better to know what you want and be honest , you are much more likely to find compatible partners that way,,,, PS. I just googled taken in hand myself, and due to ever changing standards of sexual 'decency' there are some sites which speak of rape play,,,this was not the theme I Was speaking of,,,but rather the tradtional, partnership with gender roles,,,and mutual support,,, |
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So how do you all feel about independence when in a relationship. Are you there 24/7 for your significant other . I could never do that. There is no way I would want her hanging in my neck all the time, neither I expect her wanting me the same. I would run and then jump into a cliff screaming "please leave me alone for minute!" It depends. If they want to chatter about nothing then after a while it would drive me batty. However, I have enjoyed sitting out and watching, or asking questions about some thing the person was doing. I have an ex who rebuilt old vehicles. He was working on a 1929 Ford Truck at the time, and I enjoyed sitting and watching him do it. I tried to ask smart questions and enjoyed watching him work. I do believe in "me time" and girls/guys nights out. I don't know about separate vacations, but a night or afternoon out is a nice break. |
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I have never wanted to 'get away' from
someone I loved. |
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So how do you all feel about independence when in a relationship. Are you there 24/7 for your significant other . I could never do that. There is no way I would want her hanging in my neck all the time, neither I expect her wanting me the same. I would run and then jump into a cliff screaming "please leave me alone for minute!" It depends. If they want to chatter about nothing then after a while it would drive me batty. However, I have enjoyed sitting out and watching, or asking questions about some thing the person was doing. I have an ex who rebuilt old vehicles. He was working on a 1929 Ford Truck at the time, and I enjoyed sitting and watching him do it. I tried to ask smart questions and enjoyed watching him work. I do believe in "me time" and girls/guys nights out. I don't know about separate vacations, but a night or afternoon out is a nice break. Not to mention you don't want to go clothes shopping with a man. Its horribly frustrating as he constantly tries to rush you out of the store. Thats what girl time is for. 
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Okay, perhaps I posed the question a little bit broadly. What is your indepence level if you were to be in a living together situation? Some people are co-dependant and can handle "me time" some people are cheaters and shouldnt be allowed "me time". I guess if you trust each other which I would hope so if you are living together...then I enjoy some "me time" and "girl time". It's nice. I probably wouldn't spend my money on a vacation though without my significant other. That's college stuff you should get it over with before you get into a serious relationship unless your job requires a lot of travel but then again, thats business not pleasure. |
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