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Topic: Having intense feelings one moment, not so intense the next?
Kleisto's photo
Sat 05/07/11 10:15 PM
Has anyone gone through this in a relationship? A week or so ago, I really felt like I was head over heels in love with this girl. She was on my mind a lot, missed her after not talking with her for a few days, just a lot of realizations sort of hit me at once. It was like nothing I ever felt before.

Now though......it's different. I don't even know how to describe it. It's not like I'm not interested in her any more, but like it's sort of waned a bit lately. I'm not really sure why or how but it's a different feeling.

Now we haven't met yet, known her about a year almost now. My one friend told me that can happen if you aren't seeing each other, so maybe that is playing a role? Anyone have input or experiences to share on this?

Scorpio_WJR's photo
Sun 05/08/11 12:00 AM
Yes, it happens. Especially with some one new. Im like that with friends too. I have ups and downs.

TxsGal3333's photo
Sun 05/08/11 07:03 AM
As far as I'm concerned it is not a relationship until you meet and make it official. I know many will say that is not so.....But you have to at least have the intention to meeting them.......whoa

Ruth34611's photo
Sun 05/08/11 07:31 AM
Feelings come and go and we have little control over them. That's why it's important to make commitments based on logic. Not to say that feelings aren't important. If you never felt any love towards someone then that's not the person for you. However, when choosing a mate, you need to make sure you have a solid foundation built on common values and goals, not just feelings. Some days you will love her more than others. And, on those days when the love feels minimal, you want to have a foundation and a reason for being with her.

no photo
Sun 05/08/11 08:21 AM

Feelings come and go and we have little control over them. That's why it's important to make commitments based on logic. Not to say that feelings aren't important. If you never felt any love towards someone then that's not the person for you. However, when choosing a mate, you need to make sure you have a solid foundation built on common values and goals, not just feelings. Some days you will love her more than others. And, on those days when the love feels minimal, you want to have a foundation and a reason for being with her.


op, you aught to kiss this woman on the mouth for the wonderful advice she just gave you. so you have butterflies in your stomach one day and the next you want to shove bamboo shards under her fingernails, like ruth said; having a foundation keeps the relationship doable

no photo
Sun 05/08/11 08:42 AM

Has anyone gone through this in a relationship? A week or so ago, I really felt like I was head over heels in love with this girl. She was on my mind a lot, missed her after not talking with her for a few days, just a lot of realizations sort of hit me at once. It was like nothing I ever felt before.

Now though......it's different. I don't even know how to describe it. It's not like I'm not interested in her any more, but like it's sort of waned a bit lately. I'm not really sure why or how but it's a different feeling.

Now we haven't met yet, known her about a year almost now. My one friend told me that can happen if you aren't seeing each other, so maybe that is playing a role? Anyone have input or experiences to share on this?


yes that can happen - even after two people fall in love & are a couple. So it can definitely happen with an online acquaintance u haven't even met yet.

If something happened between u that changed ur feelings...talk to her. You prolly do not want to lose a friend.

you became friends for a reason. and if it doesn't become a romantic relationship? - heck we all needs friends of all kinds.

I have made a few platonic friends on here- thought I found "the one" a couple times.... now not even actively looking any more. It's just been too many misunderstandings with things not in person...but I value my friends from here just as much as my friends IRL

Really, just as in real life (IRL), most likely romance will blossom with someone you are already friends with - that is the best case. So - no stress - just take it day to day....things can happen in an instant...so I believe it is important to stay open even if you've had a disagreement. I hope some of this helps

Ruth34611's photo
Sun 05/08/11 08:52 AM


op, you aught to kiss this woman on the mouth


Okay, I'm waiting! smooched bigsmile

no photo
Sun 05/08/11 08:57 AM

As far as I'm concerned it is not a relationship until you meet and make it official. I know many will say that is not so.....But you have to at least have the intention to meeting them.......whoa
:thumbsup: Couldn't agree with you more

Kleisto's photo
Sun 05/08/11 11:30 AM
Edited by Kleisto on Sun 05/08/11 11:30 AM


Has anyone gone through this in a relationship? A week or so ago, I really felt like I was head over heels in love with this girl. She was on my mind a lot, missed her after not talking with her for a few days, just a lot of realizations sort of hit me at once. It was like nothing I ever felt before.

Now though......it's different. I don't even know how to describe it. It's not like I'm not interested in her any more, but like it's sort of waned a bit lately. I'm not really sure why or how but it's a different feeling.

Now we haven't met yet, known her about a year almost now. My one friend told me that can happen if you aren't seeing each other, so maybe that is playing a role? Anyone have input or experiences to share on this?


yes that can happen - even after two people fall in love & are a couple. So it can definitely happen with an online acquaintance u haven't even met yet.

If something happened between u that changed ur feelings...talk to her. You prolly do not want to lose a friend.

you became friends for a reason. and if it doesn't become a romantic relationship? - heck we all needs friends of all kinds.

I have made a few platonic friends on here- thought I found "the one" a couple times.... now not even actively looking any more. It's just been too many misunderstandings with things not in person...but I value my friends from here just as much as my friends IRL

Really, just as in real life (IRL), most likely romance will blossom with someone you are already friends with - that is the best case. So - no stress - just take it day to day....things can happen in an instant...so I believe it is important to stay open even if you've had a disagreement. I hope some of this helps


That's kinda what had happened here, we talk a lot, and are pretty close friends, have been for a while now.

Perhaps this feeling now is just a phase, guess time will tell.

no photo
Sun 05/08/11 11:42 AM
Feelings come and go. If you're not seeing each other very much, or talking enough, your feelings can become less intense.

Also, when the feelings are new, they can be more intense.

no photo
Sun 05/08/11 04:14 PM



Has anyone gone through this in a relationship? A week or so ago, I really felt like I was head over heels in love with this girl. She was on my mind a lot, missed her after not talking with her for a few days, just a lot of realizations sort of hit me at once. It was like nothing I ever felt before.

Now though......it's different. I don't even know how to describe it. It's not like I'm not interested in her any more, but like it's sort of waned a bit lately. I'm not really sure why or how but it's a different feeling.

Now we haven't met yet, known her about a year almost now. My one friend told me that can happen if you aren't seeing each other, so maybe that is playing a role? Anyone have input or experiences to share on this?


yes that can happen - even after two people fall in love & are a couple. So it can definitely happen with an online acquaintance u haven't even met yet.

If something happened between u that changed ur feelings...talk to her. You prolly do not want to lose a friend.

you became friends for a reason. and if it doesn't become a romantic relationship? - heck we all needs friends of all kinds.

I have made a few platonic friends on here- thought I found "the one" a couple times.... now not even actively looking any more. It's just been too many misunderstandings with things not in person...but I value my friends from here just as much as my friends IRL

Really, just as in real life (IRL), most likely romance will blossom with someone you are already friends with - that is the best case. So - no stress - just take it day to day....things can happen in an instant...so I believe it is important to stay open even if you've had a disagreement. I hope some of this helps


That's kinda what had happened here, we talk a lot, and are pretty close friends, have been for a while now.

Perhaps this feeling now is just a phase, guess time will tell.


yes sweety, time will tell. If you feel like you have run outta things to talk about take a little break. Have u asked her how she feels? who knows what the future will bringflowerforyou

Kleisto's photo
Sun 05/08/11 08:46 PM




Has anyone gone through this in a relationship? A week or so ago, I really felt like I was head over heels in love with this girl. She was on my mind a lot, missed her after not talking with her for a few days, just a lot of realizations sort of hit me at once. It was like nothing I ever felt before.

Now though......it's different. I don't even know how to describe it. It's not like I'm not interested in her any more, but like it's sort of waned a bit lately. I'm not really sure why or how but it's a different feeling.

Now we haven't met yet, known her about a year almost now. My one friend told me that can happen if you aren't seeing each other, so maybe that is playing a role? Anyone have input or experiences to share on this?


yes that can happen - even after two people fall in love & are a couple. So it can definitely happen with an online acquaintance u haven't even met yet.

If something happened between u that changed ur feelings...talk to her. You prolly do not want to lose a friend.

you became friends for a reason. and if it doesn't become a romantic relationship? - heck we all needs friends of all kinds.

I have made a few platonic friends on here- thought I found "the one" a couple times.... now not even actively looking any more. It's just been too many misunderstandings with things not in person...but I value my friends from here just as much as my friends IRL

Really, just as in real life (IRL), most likely romance will blossom with someone you are already friends with - that is the best case. So - no stress - just take it day to day....things can happen in an instant...so I believe it is important to stay open even if you've had a disagreement. I hope some of this helps


That's kinda what had happened here, we talk a lot, and are pretty close friends, have been for a while now.

Perhaps this feeling now is just a phase, guess time will tell.


yes sweety, time will tell. If you feel like you have run outta things to talk about take a little break. Have u asked her how she feels? who knows what the future will bringflowerforyou


Well she knew about the feelings I was having this last week, and she's still trying to process it. She isn't fully sure what she wants just yet here. Will have to just see.

Funny thing really, we still do find things to talk about even after this long, kind of amazing that. Maybe a break wouldn't be the worst thing though idk.

mightymoe's photo
Sun 05/08/11 08:58 PM

Feelings come and go and we have little control over them. That's why it's important to make commitments based on logic. Not to say that feelings aren't important. If you never felt any love towards someone then that's not the person for you. However, when choosing a mate, you need to make sure you have a solid foundation built on common values and goals, not just feelings. Some days you will love her more than others. And, on those days when the love feels minimal, you want to have a foundation and a reason for being with her.


very true.. flowerforyou

mightymoe's photo
Sun 05/08/11 08:58 PM
absence makes the heart grow fonder...if its the other way around, then there could be a problem...

Kleisto's photo
Sun 05/08/11 09:07 PM
I'm considering a break to just evaluate, maybe it would help her too to process what has happened lately.

We are close friends though, so we do have that foundation mentioned, but it wouldn't be a bad idea to try I suppose.

boredinaz06's photo
Sun 05/08/11 09:11 PM
Have you mounted her yet?

mightymoe's photo
Sun 05/08/11 09:15 PM

I'm considering a break to just evaluate, maybe it would help her too to process what has happened lately.

We are close friends though, so we do have that foundation mentioned, but it wouldn't be a bad idea to try I suppose.


your dammed if you do, and dammed if you don't... every "friend" that we talk about hooking up, whether we did or didn't, it was over... but that is me, it may not be the same for everyone... so at least bone her, nothing to lose...

Kleisto's photo
Sun 05/08/11 09:28 PM


I'm considering a break to just evaluate, maybe it would help her too to process what has happened lately.

We are close friends though, so we do have that foundation mentioned, but it wouldn't be a bad idea to try I suppose.


your dammed if you do, and dammed if you don't... every "friend" that we talk about hooking up, whether we did or didn't, it was over... but that is me, it may not be the same for everyone... so at least bone her, nothing to lose...


I'm actually looking for something more than sex here, we've done sexual stuff online and by phone in the past, but it's taken a back seat for the most part for a while now.

If that comes with it, that's fine, but I'm sort of thinking deeper with this one.

no photo
Mon 05/09/11 12:11 AM


Feelings come and go and we have little control over them. That's why it's important to make commitments based on logic. Not to say that feelings aren't important. If you never felt any love towards someone then that's not the person for you. However, when choosing a mate, you need to make sure you have a solid foundation built on common values and goals, not just feelings. Some days you will love her more than others. And, on those days when the love feels minimal, you want to have a foundation and a reason for being with her.


op, you aught to kiss this woman on the mouth for the wonderful advice she just gave you. so you have butterflies in your stomach one day and the next you want to shove bamboo shards under her fingernails, like ruth said; having a foundation keeps the relationship doable


^^These.

Kleisto's photo
Mon 05/09/11 01:33 AM



Feelings come and go and we have little control over them. That's why it's important to make commitments based on logic. Not to say that feelings aren't important. If you never felt any love towards someone then that's not the person for you. However, when choosing a mate, you need to make sure you have a solid foundation built on common values and goals, not just feelings. Some days you will love her more than others. And, on those days when the love feels minimal, you want to have a foundation and a reason for being with her.


op, you aught to kiss this woman on the mouth for the wonderful advice she just gave you. so you have butterflies in your stomach one day and the next you want to shove bamboo shards under her fingernails, like ruth said; having a foundation keeps the relationship doable


^^These.


Maybe I'm just not used to all the peaks and valleys like this, it's a little new to me.

I only have had one real life girlfriend, and we dated for all of 3 months before breaking up, and knew her for less than a year only by the time we did.

So......I guess I'm a bit green when it comes to this, not having much experience to fall back on.

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